Tag: Wednesday

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Disclaimer: I have decided to publish the unedited draft of this blog. Not going to change a thing. Talk about completely random! Laughing. Y’all, I’m so fascinated by how the mind works.. how my mind works. Yes, today I’m going to let it be. So, two, 10 or even 30 years from now, I’ll smile when I re-read it. I’ll definitely cringe too. But I’ll smile and say, “That was me. This is me. I love you, Shaun.”

Hello! And Happy Wednesday!

Today is another random blog. Was reading journal entries from 1992 and decided to write about those writings.

On May 20, 1992, I wrote, “Love is so powerful and strong, but when it’s one sided, it’s not so great.” I was 18 years old. Two weeks from enlisting in the Air Force and a little over a month from my 19th birthday. And I was in love. Well.. at least I believed I was.

His name was Will. I usually don’t include names but hey, it’s been 30 years. Yes, Will was his name and I was in “love.” Looking back, what did I really know about love besides what I saw in movies and read in novels. I had to be in love because love hurts, and I was hurting. I mean, the deeper the pain, the deeper the love. Right? Boy, was I confused.

Now, here I am sitting here 30 years later wondering if I have ever been in love. Real love. Or was it that make believe kind of love. Here’s my theory, which I shared with my ex-husband when he would ask if I was in love with him. I would say, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you. Because if you fall in love with someone, you can always fall out of love with them.” Hmm.. It sounded good; however, in all honesty, I didn’t want to be in love because I only remembered the pain associated with it. I never wanted to feel that pain again.

I once read, it’s not love that hurts but the rejection and heartache we associate with love. When I think about it, I believe I have only been in love once.. maybe twice. I say this because they’re the ones I still smile about when I think of them. The ones that still make me feel all warm inside.

I believe when you fall in love with someone, you never fall out of love with them. You can relabel it as, “I care for them,” or “I love them like family,” but deep down you know there’s a difference. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be during this lifetime, or perhaps it happened during a past lifetime, but it happened and you know it because you still feel it.

Love…

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Happy Wednesday!

Today makes 361 consecutive days of blogging! For some reason, I assumed the one year mark was closer to my birthday, in June. Well, I actually began this journey on May 14, 2021 with this blog, Just Dropping In To Say Hello.

After reading what I wrote almost a year ago, it seems as if I have a pattern of logging off social media around the same time every year. It’s always around this time (April/May) and the end/beginning of the year. Makes me wonder what it is about these specific times that I need to take a break from social media, a.k.a. chaos.

Back in December, I officially logged off my main twitter account, the one that was beginning to make me feel like I didn’t belong and had my anxiety levels through the roof. Imagine feeling like you don’t belong, on your own account. It was crazy!

Well, after logging off, I reverted to my secondary account. The account that I once referred to as “boring.” Shaking my head. I only invited people who I believed I made a positive connection with, to follow me to this account. You know, real people with real lives. I no longer wanted to be in that pretentious, competitive space. I needed calm, boring (anything but.. Lol) and real.. real conversations. Every now and then I get the urge to discuss my shows or a good movie, and I’ll provide a comment or two. However, I will never go back to where I was. I didn’t like it there.

Today, I’m happy where I am, in the spaces I’m in. In last year’s blog I mentioned the Facebook group, We Are Sistas (private group based on Tyler Perry’s Sistas). Well, I’m still there. For a minute though, I was thinking about leaving the group. It was becoming too much like my old Twitter account, too many negative vibes. Then I thought about the people I’ve connected with over the past few years and decided that my bond with them far outweighed the other stuff. Now, Instagram (IG).. I still have a love-hate relationship with it. However, I believe I have unfollowed all of the accounts that used to trigger my anxiety. Either that or I’m becoming better at managing it. Currently, I mainly follow people/accounts that feed my soul. Sorry but I don’t want to hear bitter rants or about how awful people are. I’d rather have a calm, uneventful, inspiring timeline. Oh! And I do follow my shows on IG and Facebook. So I still get to comment on posts and replies whenever the urge hits me. Yes, it’s still my happy space.

Okay y’all.. I did not intend for this blog to be so long. Guess I felt like writing. Hope you’re having a wonderful week thus far and wishing you an even better rest of the week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Lately I’ve experienced bouts of loneliness even with my kids in the house. I’m not sure if I’m bringing it on myself or if it’s happening naturally. Sadly, all I think about is what’s to come. Pretty soon I will only have to care for myself and this makes me feel lonely.

This weekend I attended a fundraiser, then treated myself to lunch. For years I have eaten alone, traveled alone, gone to the movies alone and never felt lonely. But this weekend I felt lonely.

Everything seems to be happening so fast. One minute I’m with my son 24 hours for months without a break (virtual work and schooling for almost 2 years). And I loved it! Now he’s preparing for graduation and college.

The other day I was telling my daughter that I’ve only felt this way once and it was when I was pregnant with her. I had just moved from Germany to Florida and didn’t know anyone. It was just me and my baby bump living alone. Didn’t have a phone and when I got one, I couldn’t make many long distance calls because it was expensive. Oh.. and it was a while before I could purchase a car. Had to walk to work or depend on someone else for a ride. Outside of work, it was just me. I was alone and I felt it. Which is something I never want to feel again.

Fast forward to now. I have a phone but hate using it for talking. I’m a texter. I’m not into pets or people that need constant attention. I don’t like hanging out. However.. I know this sounds weird.. I do like attending events and conferences and socializing. Not sure why. My kids know me so well and are kind of like me. We love our space. We love our quiet time. However, we also love having long, thought-provoking conversations as well as singing, dancing and cooking together. Oh.. and we text each other all day long! I really do love my mini-mes.

Anyhoo.. I know I’ll be just fine. I just need a minute to adjust.

Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful rest of the week.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Life is moving right along and I’m moving right along with it. I’m happy. I’m blessed. I’m grateful. I’m humbled. I’m content. I’m at peace. And I’m loved.

As I’ve said before, I’m truly loving this space I’m in. According to my journals, it’s taken me decades to get here, but I’m finally here. And it’s such a wonderful feeling! I don’t ever want to go back to where I was or the way things were.

As the song says, “This joy that I have, the world didn’t give it to me… This peace that I have, the world didn’t give it to me. The world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away.” Amen

Thank You, Lord, for guiding me through the tough times. For giving me hope when I was hopeless. And for granting me peace like no other. Amen

Thanks for reading! I pray that you’ve also found peace, contentment, love and joy. Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

My nephew shared a quote this morning and the words ring true.

“Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don’t want to believe that. But if you’re over age twenty-one your life is what you’re making it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities.” – John C. Maxwell

He also added that due to social determinants it may be difficult to change your life. However, I’ll add, it is not impossible. Sometimes this means making sacrifices (changing priorities) so that you can live a better life – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well as financially.

I’ll end with this question–

Are you presently making changes to create a better life for yourself (see meaning above), or are you content with where you are?

Me – I’m making changes.

Thanks for reading and please your day!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

“Everyone has their own road to travel,” is what I wrote a few years ago. It seems like the older I get the more evident this becomes. No matter how much we want things and relationships to remain the same they won’t. Life is constantly evolving. Everyone has their own lives with their own set of dreams, goals and problems. And of course I have mine!

My world is finally opening back up and it looks totally different from the way it looked pre-COVID. I’m not afraid of what the future holds. However, it saddens me that things are no longer the same. As many of us have experienced, change – positive or negative – can be difficult to accept and adjust to, but it’s so necessary.

On this day three years ago, I wrote: “Reflect, Regroup, Refocus.” Never have I felt the need to do this as much as I do now. Change is inevitable and it’s happening right before my eyes. The only thing that has remained constant, and will always remain constant, is God’s presence and love. And you best believe I’m not letting those go. Nope! I’m leaning on Him even more.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy your day.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Seems like this has been one long month; or rather, this month has been one long week. Honestly, it seems as if the hours and tasks have been never ending. I believe I have done more this month than I’ve done in an entire year, two years even. Maybe it’s because things are opening back up, or because I’m finally getting back out. Probably the latter.

I’m not going to lie, it feels good to socialize again. Didn’t realized how much I needed to be around people other than family. I’m a people person. I love meeting people and holding random conversations. So getting back out felt really good. I actually felt like I was living again.

Well, with that said, “living again” has also been very draining, physically as well as mentally. In certain environments I have been able to socialize mask free; however, COVID-19 has always been at the forefront of my mind. Are they vaccinated? Where’s my hand sanitizer? Where’s my mask? Why are they not wearing masks? Social distance, please! Whew, it’s been a lot!

I guess you can say from here on out it’s back to business as normal but with precautions. This coming Saturday my son has another campus tour. Meaning we have to be around people. Then, next week, I have another conference to attend. Which means even more people. Yeah.. no more bubble for me. It’s back to business as usual.

Thanks for reading and please enjoy the rest of your week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

It’s been over two years since I’ve been to an in person conference. Although I’m excited to see everyone, part of me wants to remain in my bubble. Y’all, this bubble has become so cozy. I used to love networking and socializing. Lived for it! Now, I only desire quiet, intimate gatherings. Twenty is plenty. I’m pretty sure once I see everyone my attitude will change. However, at this moment, the only thing I’m looking forward to is my hotel room. My how things have changed. Laughing. Guess I better suck it up. I’m attending another conference in two weeks.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Have you ever woke up feeling renewed? Like it’s literally a brand new day, an actual new beginning? Well, this morning, I did! Perhaps it was the six hours of uninterrupted sleep (smile) or a delayed reaction from this day a year ago, the morning after I submitted my letter of resignation. To this day, I still don’t know how I submitted it without a bit of fear or a set plan in place. Y’all, I’m in tears because I KNOW it was God!

So here I am a year later without an ounce of regret. Still on cloud nine. However, the feeling I woke up with this morning is a little different. Today, I’m no longer anxious to take on a million projects. I have no plans of being entrepreneur or volunteer of the year. What I’m feeling is true peace and contentment. Not in a way that I’m not striving to reach new heights, but in a way that I no longer feel rushed. I’m actually going with the flow. I don’t want to mislead you into believing everything has been perfect because it hasn’t. I still have bills, unexpected things continue to pop up, and misfortunes and disappointments happen. However, I no longer allow myself to become stressed or anxious. Now, whenever I feel either creeping in, I remember that I’m not in this alone, God’s got me. That’s when I take a backseat and allow Him to lead. You know, since He knows where He’s taking me. Smile

Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful day.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford
Decided I liked this graphic better.

Facebook Memory: March 9, 2019

Happy Saturday! Here’s today’s social media find. Do you remember waking up on Saturday mornings looking forward to a day of nonstop play? Well, I do! Of course there was the dreaded routine of cleaning the whole house first, but the reward was endless play. During playtime, I remember being very creative. It was like, if your mind could imagine it, you could find a way to do it, even if the majority of the scenarios were make believe. Those were the days! I believe, as we get older, we become more skeptical and less creative because we’re constantly worried about what others will think or say. (I tell you, we give “others” a lot of control.) Today, I challenge you to let go and be creative. What would your childhood self create if he/she had access to the technology and tools we have today? I create accounts, pages, blogs and whatever else my mind can imagine at the given time. I know it seems like I’m all over the place at times, but it’s the way I have fun. Lol. Anyhoo – be creative!

Now I’m drawing! There’s no telling what I will be doing three years from now. Life is too short and too good not to enjoy everything it has to offer. Have fun!

Shaun