Life

Happiness

Wide awake so, you know how I do, I write.

Reposted a Facebook memory I shared back in 2018. It was a video of Will Smith talking about happiness and how he and Jada came to the understanding that another person cannot make you happy. Happiness has to come from within. As Will put it, another person can make you smile, laugh and feel good, but they cannot make you happy. And he was absolutely right. It took me years to realize true happiness was a mental state of being, not an emotion.

Growing up, I always believed happiness came from another person. I was always waiting for the day I’d find this guy who would make me happy. I mean, that’s what the women in books and movies always said, “He makes me happy.” What they were really saying was, “He makes me smile, laugh and feel good.” However, whenever the guy broke her heart she became sad and somewhat depressed, but… she always bounced back. So, what happens when the smiles and laughter ends, or your heart gets broken and you can’t seem to bounce back or function?

My ex used to always say he wasn’t happy. So I would try to do things to make him happy. Eventually I said the same thing Will said to Jada, and this was years before Will posted his video. I explained that I could not make him happy, nor was it my job to keep trying. Believe me, it was exhausting. Thanks to the awesome advice I received from my therapist in my early 20s, I knew happiness came from within.

Side note: I need to take a moment and thank my younger self for seeking therapy, especially in the early 90s when Black people were not into therapy. The best part was, my therapist was a Black female contracted through DOD working in Ramstein, GE. I had to add that because God’s strategy is just impeccable. Y’all, He knew long before I did that I would need to seek help and she needed to be the one who provided it. Whew!! So grateful for Ms. Elaine. Because of her, I made it through some crazy times. Listen, I’m still living off the advice she gave me almost 30 years ago.

Anyway.. I need to take a quick nap before I get my day started so I’ll end with this:

1) Please find happiness within yourself. Make yourself smile, laugh and feel good. Believe me, I’ve been on both sides and there’s nothing like being truly happy.

2) If you’re constantly feeling down and/or depressed, please seek therapy. Most of the time it’s not the other person not making you happy, it’s you.

3) However, if the person you’re with never makes you smile, laugh or feel good, you may need to rethink that relationship. Just saying. That’s just my opinion. Lol

As usual, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Enjoy your Tuesday.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Happy Valentine’s Day

Hello Sunday and Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s a little after 1:00 a.m. So since I’m up and it’s already Sunday, I may as well write.

Not going to write much. Unlike last year, I’m not in a “bah humbug” mood. You’ll have to read last year’s blog to understand– Valentine’s Day Blues. This year I’m in somewhat of a mellow mood. You know, today’s just another Sunday. So grateful to be alive and blessed.

To everyone celebrating Valentine’s Day, I wish you a fabulous day filled with unconditional love and unspeakable joy. I hope that you smile so long and hard your cheeks hurt. You deserve it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Shaun

Life

Logging Off Is Difficult But Necessary

I’m really trying to create healthier habits by sticking to my scheduled times. I’ve allotted 1.5 hours to tweet during and after my shows. Tonight I did well. My show ended almost 30 minutes ago and I decided not to use the full 30 minutes to tweet afterwards. I also logged off Facebook. I have to stick with my set schedule because I really hate how attached I’ve become to social media. The only way things will change is for me to be intentional about changing them.

I know I can do this. I have to.

Good Night

Shaun

Life

Preparation, Protection & Promotion

Be ready!

I really should be asleep, but since I’m awake I’ll write. Was having a crazy dream about the rock band KISS, rappers Kid n Play, and eating dry cornbread in some fancy hotel room. Woke up coughing and reaching for water. I bet I can’t find KISS, Kid n Play, or dry cornbread in one of those dream book. Y’all, even while asleep, I’m being entertained. Gotta love life!

Anyhoo.. Yesterday I came across a photo I had taken at a conference. It was a picture of one of the speakers’ slides which read, “Preparation. Protection. Promotion.” I remember the speaker saying these are the steps God takes us through each time we embark on something new. First, we’re prepped for it. Meaning, we go through all kinds of tests and trials until God believes we’re ready to move to the next phase- Protection.

God’s protection zone is usually uncomfortable because it’s where nothing appears to be happening. You’re still in the preparation phase but you think you’re ready to shine. You know, it’s where you keep saying, “God, I’m ready!” and He responds with, “Not yet.” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve gone through years of saying “I’m ready, Lord.” Only to hear Him say, “Be still. Not yet.” I’ve learned from experience that when He says to be still, I need to be still. It means I’m being protected. His method of protection reminds me of a parent protecting a child from touching something hot. The parent constantly tells the child not to touch the object because they’ll get burned. But once the parent turns their back, the child touches it. Lol. As I said, I’ve learned from experience to listen.

The protection phase isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s where you get to make mistakes and no one seems to notice. You get to try what works and what doesn’t work. I guess you can say it’s the “trial and error” phase of the journey. The only problem I’ve had with this phase is that, it some situations, it can become too comfortable. Sometimes it becomes so comfortable that when God says it’s go time, you refuse to move. You make excuses for not moving forward. As usual, I’m not just writing this for you; as I write, God is speaking to me, too.

So, once God says you’re ready– which, from my experience, is when you feel the least prepared– comes the promotion. Promotion is scary, yet exhilarating; especially if you like adventures! However, promotion comes with a cost. Promotion comes with more exposure. More vulnerability. More responsibilities. As Biggie said, “Mo money, mo problems.” However, as Fred Hammond said, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Y’all, I’m so grateful I have God in my corner. When the problems come, or I encounter situations that seem unbearable, He reminds me that I can handle anything that’s thrown my way because I’m His child. I’m royalty!

This year I’m walking into new adventures standing tall knowing that God’s with me every step of the way. Ready or not Shaun, it’s game time!

As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Now it’s time to go back to sleep.

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Short story:

Every morning, as soon as my great-great grandmother stepped foot out of bed, she would grab her huge white bible, flip to Psalm 23, and began reading– well, more like reciting– the entire chapter, aloud. Not a day went by that she didn’t do this. Y’all, I hate to admit this but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized this ritual set her mood for the day. That one chapter had her smiling, humming and singing all day long. Well… let’s just say that I choose to believe that’s what had her humming and smiling all day long.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided I wanted to be like her and establish my own morning ritual by reading a chapter from the book of Psalms. However, I wanted my own chapter because, thanks to her, I already knew Psalm 23 by heart. Plus that was her chapter. Well, I’m not sure how or why I chose Psalm 113; however, once I read it I knew it was for me. Just for me. Here’s a snippet of what gets me going each morning.

Psalm 113:1-3 NIV

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. Psalm 113:1

Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. Psalm 113:2

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3

As I said, this is just a snippet. There are six more verses in the chapter. I don’t know about you but the first three verses have me smiling already. Y’all, there’s just nothing like starting a day with praise.

I love, y’all! Have a blessed week!

Shaun

Life

Death

Death.

Seems like the older I become the more death seems to bother me. I’m not saying I wasn’t bothered by it before, but it was just different. When I was younger I believed I would live forever. Now that I’m almost 50, I see things differently. I often feel like I’m in a race against time. Will I achieve my goals before death takes me away from here? I try not to think about death, but it’s hard not to. A week ago, one of my mom’s long-time friends passed. Two weeks before that, a couple my family used to attend church with, died within days of each other. Their son and I were classmates. Then, two days before Ms. Cicely Tyson passed, one of my friends texted me that her dad had just passed unexpectedly. It’s like death is lurking everywhere. Honestly, it’s becoming a little too much.

Y’all, I have so many questions that only God can answer. Am I in a race against death? Will I die before I achieve my goals? Will I live to see my dreams come to fruition? What is God’s definition of “fulfilling your purpose”? Because I believe we could possibly have two completely different definitions. Sometimes I feel like I should stop pursuing my dreams, goals, and purpose, and just settle where I am. You know, just be content with what is. I mean, it would be less stressful. Less time consuming. Less heartbreaking. Less complicated. So why do I want more? Why do I continue to live as if I have 50+ years ahead of me? Why am I still moving forward as if I can have anything imaginable? Why?

Life.

My life.

Shaun