Tag: empty nester

hope

Good Night (53)

Shaun Bradford

Just dropping in to say “Good Night.”

So far, I’m really enjoying 52. I know it sounds crazy, but it already seems different—in a great way.

After a week of being catered to, I finally realized that my babies are grown and have their own lives and their own money. My siblings also have their own lives. My dad and stepmom have each other and are making it the best they can together, which leaves me to do my own thing. I feel like I have this revelation often, but I uncover a newfound freedom with each revelation, and it’s beautiful.

This is Year52…

The year of favor, overflow, and grace.

I pray you had a wonderful day. May your evening be restful and your dreams be beautiful.♥️

I love you always,

Shaun

Life

I Am Responsible For Me

Shaun Bradford

I took the following excerpt below from my Wednesday Writings dated April 20, 2022. A few posts ago, I wrote about not knowing how to be single. How, for almost 30 years, my kids have basically been my life. Well, two years ago I was entering my empty nester phase. Didn’t know what to expect. Here’s what I wrote.

Wednesday Writings: April 20, 2022

… in that split second, it dawned on me that I.. yes, me.. am responsible for protecting, supporting, encouraging and loving myself. I.. yes, Shaun.. am responsible for ensuring I live my BEST life. Yes, it’s on me, solely on me. 

Perhaps what my soul is believing for is tied to me believing in myself and loving myself like I’ve never done before. That the only way I can live my best life is to care for myself like I care for my babies. To want for myself the same things I want for them. As many of you know, my son will be graduating in one month. As I’m trying to prepare him for this new wave of freedom he’s about to experience, I’m also preparing myself as well. It’s been about 30 years since I last rolled solo. Anxious to see what lies ahead. 

I said it had been 30 years since I rolled solo. I meant unattached. No man. No kids. Just me, myself, and I. My son will be 21 this year and my daughter is 29, which means they are grown! So, it is time that I explore life without being attached. Not necessarily dating because I am not into the dating thing. Never done it well and now not interested in trying. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still want to get married again. I loved the companionship. My marriage wasn’t all bad. Most of the time it was pretty good. I was the June Cleaver/Claire Huxtable I wanted to be. I made my life what I wanted. I just never loved my husband. He was the rebound guy and I was told (yes…by God) I needed to release him. That that was the only way I could stop pretending to be happy and actually be happy. Listen, you can only pretend for so long. Once the facade starts crumbling, it doesn’t stop until all of you is exposed. Then what? Then, you start living from authenticity.

Anyhoo… I got real sidetracked. Laughing. Well, now, it’s just Shaun, the single lady, and Mother, the advisor. Smiling

Loving life. This is Year50…♥️

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Seems as if the atmosphere is shifting and it’s shifting at an extremely fast pace. Maybe it’s only in my world. I do have a lot going on. Well, what seems like a lot at the moment. Most of it is related to transition. I’m transitioning from a full-time caregiver/parent to as needed. At the moment, I’m not really sure how to cope with this awkwardness. Of course I have plenty of things to work on and keep me busy, but socially there’s a void. There’s a void that I’m not exactly sure how to fill. It doesn’t make it any better that I no longer have coworkers or work in a public space. I’m a very social person but even being on social media is different. The connections don’t provide the same feelings as in person connections. They don’t fill the void.

Y’all, I’m just thinking as I write. I know in an hour or two I’ll feel differently. However, at this very moment, I feel alone. Crazy part is, I don’t want to text, call or video chat, I need physical, human interaction. I need to feel their energy (positive only). I’m tired of going to the store just to see and interact with people. Yes, I strike up conversations with random people. I know that I can always volunteer, but I want to be around people who don’t need me. I want to be around people who want to socialize. Even if we’re only watching a movie or in the same space. Guess I need to be more careful about what I put out into the universe because the last place I want to end up in is jail. Lol. I kinda scared myself with that last statement– watching movies or just in the same space with people. Whew! You never know how the universe will answer. Gotta be more careful. Anyhoo.. I really have to figure this one out.

Well, that’s as much as I feel like writing. Thank you so much for reading. Enjoy your day!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Lately I’ve experienced bouts of loneliness even with my kids in the house. I’m not sure if I’m bringing it on myself or if it’s happening naturally. Sadly, all I think about is what’s to come. Pretty soon I will only have to care for myself and this makes me feel lonely.

This weekend I attended a fundraiser, then treated myself to lunch. For years I have eaten alone, traveled alone, gone to the movies alone and never felt lonely. But this weekend I felt lonely.

Everything seems to be happening so fast. One minute I’m with my son 24 hours for months without a break (virtual work and schooling for almost 2 years). And I loved it! Now he’s preparing for graduation and college.

The other day I was telling my daughter that I’ve only felt this way once and it was when I was pregnant with her. I had just moved from Germany to Florida and didn’t know anyone. It was just me and my baby bump living alone. Didn’t have a phone and when I got one, I couldn’t make many long distance calls because it was expensive. Oh.. and it was a while before I could purchase a car. Had to walk to work or depend on someone else for a ride. Outside of work, it was just me. I was alone and I felt it. Which is something I never want to feel again.

Fast forward to now. I have a phone but hate using it for talking. I’m a texter. I’m not into pets or people that need constant attention. I don’t like hanging out. However.. I know this sounds weird.. I do like attending events and conferences and socializing. Not sure why. My kids know me so well and are kind of like me. We love our space. We love our quiet time. However, we also love having long, thought-provoking conversations as well as singing, dancing and cooking together. Oh.. and we text each other all day long! I really do love my mini-mes.

Anyhoo.. I know I’ll be just fine. I just need a minute to adjust.

Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful rest of the week.

Shaun