Tag: relationships

Life

Nine Years

Shaun Bradford

Earlier I shared, “Here I Am.”

Five years ago (March 26, 2019), I wrote the following in my journal:

“Today is the day we separated for good. I can’t believe it’s been four years. Four years. Didn’t think I’d make it four years off of patience.”

Actually, it was patience and a lot of prayer that got me through that time.

Just the day before—March 25, 2019—I was finally able to sign the divorce papers. It had been four long years of me patiently waiting for everything to work out. Of me trying not to rock the boat. Of me being kind, thoughtful and considerate. Yeah… I was all of that. Four years of suffering in silence; biting my tongue; allowing others (those who I thought loved me) treat me like trash for deciding to divorce a “good man” (their words). For deciding to listen to what God had been telling me to do for years, but I was too afraid to. I was never supposed to marry him, yet I did. I knew this. Tried to explain this, only to be treated like I was the most horrible person on earth. So, I waited. I waited four years for him to come to terms with the fact that we were actually divorcing. His lawyer said he was finally ready. I was so happy. Signed the papers, and he refused to sign them. Y’all, I had never experienced anger in my life until that point. Never… and I had had some pretty messed up stuff happen to me before then. However, I never got to the point of anger, until then. Whew!!

As I shared earlier today—I am here, and I am still standing! Y’all, what was meant to destroy me did not take me out! I made it!!!

Forever grateful for God’s love, mercy, and grace. I made it!♥️

Shaun

Life

The Last Three Weeks

Shaun Bradford

The last three weeks have been mentally and physically exhausting. Like, for real. On most days, I know I was on autopilot—operating without even thinking, doing what I have been programmed to do since childhood (take charge). At least, that’s how it felt. Here’s an overview of what happened:

My sister had a healthy baby boy. Both left the hospital healthy (so we thought). Two days later, she was in the ER diagnosed with postpartum heart failure, then sent home to follow up with a cardiologist. Two days after that, the baby had jaundice.

Before my sister could follow up with the cardiologist, she was back in the ER. This time they consulted with her OB doctor and was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia. Which was more accurate. She stayed in the hospital a few days and was released after her vitals and bloodwork were back to normal.

That was my first hospital stay since my mom passed.

While all of this was happening with my sister, my stepmom was having health issues, which were getting worse. She was sick while my sister was in the hospital, but I couldn’t be with both. Had to decide which needed me the most. It was a lot.

Well, last week…last Wednesday to be exact, my stepmom had to have emergency surgery. I stayed with her from Wednesday until Sunday. She was discharged yesterday, but she still isn’t well. It will probably be several weeks before she’s moving around again.

So, that was my last two to three weeks. Oh… and I was still working during all of this. So very thankful for remote work and the ability to make my own schedule. These are truly luxuries that are often taken for granted. Even being single with grown children is a privilege; however, it is also taxing at times. As my daughter advised me, before I jump up and do anything else, I need to be still and take care of myself, first. And I am doing exactly that.

That’s all I have for you today. Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday.

Be Blessed♥️

Shaun

Life

Words Are Powerful

Shaun Bradford

Facebook Memory: March 19, 2021

Words are powerful. They can either build or destroy. How are you using your words? Are you speaking life or death?

Same question today—how are you using your words? Are you speaking life or death? Are you building or destroying?

Be mindful of what you speak, especially when it comes to speaking about others. Be the person who builds relationships not destroy them. Be the one who speaks life, love, peace, and prosperity over others. I believe whatever we speak, whether over ourselves or others, we receive. Again, be mindful of what you speak. Words are very powerful.

Praying you have a wonderful day!♥️

Love you,

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Dr. Maya Angelou

I tend to give people a lot of grace because I know people be peopleing (yeah, I know it’s not a word—I’m peopleing. Smile). You never know if someone is having a bad day so they come off as rude or unapproachable; or maybe that’s just their demeanor, but they are still good people. Listen, I have relatives who will cuss you out and love on you in the same breath. I also have some that will treat you like you’re the best thing walking and tear you down when you’re out of sight. Yes, I have seen it all. They just be peopleing. (Smile) So, for me, first impressions don’t really mean anything. It’s a person’s actions and character the majority of the time that shows me who they truly are. People can hide who they are some of the time but not all the time.

If you’re not privy to someone’s daily life, trust your instincts. Do not keep overriding them. If something does not feel right, it’s probably not right. If something seems off, it probably is. Stay covered. Believe me, when you stay covered, God will keep you protected.

And yes, this message is definitely for me too. I tend to extend too much grace. For some reason, I believe there is good in everyone. It just baffles me that some people intentionally set out to use, misuse, abuse and hurt others. Just writing this seems unreal. Thankful for God’s protection.

Hopefully this wasn’t too dark. Didn’t mean for it to be. Praying you have a wonderful Sunday and fabulous week. And remember to be kind. I really wish there was a way we could add more kindness to the world.

Love you!♥️

Shaun

Trust your gut; and always, always, ALWAYS, trust God. Do not override your feelings.
Life

Unconditional Love Begins Within

Shaun Bradford

Happy Self-Love Saturday!

I spent decades yearning for someone to love me for me. To love all of me unconditionally. To love me not only when I was at my best, but when I was at my worst—insecure, unmotivated, feeling ugly, and unsure of myself. To love me when I did not make the best decisions. To love me through both good and bad times. Just to love me.

Well, I have finally realized and accepted I am that person I spent years searching for. I had to learn to love myself not only when I was up, but also when I was down. Had to learn to stop criticizing and beating myself up over mistakes and bad decisions. Yeah, I had to love and accept all of me.

I am so very thankful I finally—took forever—found me.♥️ ~ Shaun

Facebook Memory: March 2, 2023

You deserve unconditional love, and there is no better person to give it to you than yourself.♥️

“Me” by Tamia ♥️

Life

Hmm… Is This True?

Shaun Bradford

Do you believe we attract what we are ready for?

Here’s what I wrote two years ago.

Facebook Memory: February 21, 2022

I believe the following quote to be true. Whether it’s opportunities or relationships, we will always attract what we’re ready for. Now, how we handle those opportunities and relationships is solely up to us. The choice is ours.

I still believe it to be true. We do attract what we are ready for. However, I think the most important part of what I wrote was, “How we handle those opportunities and relationships is solely up to us. The choice is ours.”

Oh the freedom of choice! My prayer for this side of 50 is that I make wiser choices when opportunities present themselves. I am determined to live the next 50 years differently.🙏🏽

Shaun

Life

Blue Hearts💙

Shaun Bradford
Aren’t we all striving to exceed, excel, and/or overcome something.💙

So there’s this video trending on social media of a young man explaining how marriage has been one of his biggest adversities. He’s been married seven years and has an outside child that’s almost two years old. He said one of the ways he tried to make amends with his wife was by sending her a blue heart daily. The first day he sent one. The second day he sent two. The third day he sent three….and so forth. Y’all, he was so proud of himself. Well, he never made it past 21 days. He said sending hearts every day was just too hard to do. Listened, I tried not to laugh because he seemed so sincere, but it was so funny. How could that be difficult?

And I wasn’t alone. Most people agreed that sending hearts daily wasn’t that difficult to do nor was it special. However, he saw it as something special, as well as challenging. Who were we to judge? To him, sending blue hearts for 21 days was an accomplishment. He had achieved something he didn’t believe he could. And we don’t know, maybe his wife thought it was special too and was also proud of him.💙

Well, after searching for the young man’s name, because I had planned to use something he said during the interview as a quote (exceeding, excelling, and overcoming), I discovered he was an aspiring motivational speaker and that he truly loved his wife. When I tell you my laughter and judgment was replaced with compassion and respect. Y’all, this young man is just like everyone else trying to figure out how to maneuver through this circus called life. How many times have you wished you would have responded or said something differently? How many times have you made costly mistakes but by the grace of God you’re still standing? I believe we can agree that all of us have had similar experiences.

Listen, God’s grace is everything. I believe we need to extend more of it than be so quick to judge. Right now, that small segment of his interview has gone viral. People are in the comments telling his wife she has a loser on her hands and that she needs to find better. So many opinions…

Anyway, here’s an Instagram reel Mr. Pugh had pinned to his page: JahTheVoice. Sending prayers up for him and his wife. Praying their marriage survives this.

This too shall pass.

Life

Self Love

Shaun Bradford
Originally shared on February 12, 2022

I used to believe doing something nice for myself was self love. I would buy myself something nice, treat myself to a fabulous meal, get a massage, or spend the day doing either everything I wanted to do or nothing at all. That was my definition of self love. Now… Now, it’s more about protecting my peace and my holistic wellbeing with my spiritual and mental wellness being most important.

Here are a few things I have finally learned and implemented:

– Saying “no” to things I don’t want to do, and without feeling guilty (yeah…it used to weigh on me), is self love. “No” is a complete sentence. No explanation needed.

– Protecting my space (physically and mentally) is self love. I am so mindful of who and/or what I allow into my space. Discernment has been key.

– Receiving good things without feeling like I don’t deserve them is self love. Yes, I deserve good things. I deserve God’s best. I mean, I am His child! Smile

– Being nurtured instead of always being the nurturer is self love. Listen, once you have been on the receiving side you can’t imagine settling for anything less.

– Putting myself and my needs first is self love. I believe this has allowed me to love even deeper. It has definitely strengthened my relationship with God.

It took me forever to get here (decades). And now that I am finally here I have no intentions of going back to life as it was. I love it here. Smiling

Guess you could say this is life beyond Year50.

I pray you have found true self love. Believe me, it’s beautiful and so peaceful.♥️

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford
You were chosen for this.

Happy Sunday! Over the last few years, I have written about being “chosen” so I am going to continue with the same theme. Here are a few captions from past years:

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself asking God, “Why me?”. His answer is always, “I chose YOU.”

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I have a hard time understanding why my life is as it is. Then I’m reminded that although small, I’m still a piece of God’s beautiful puzzle – uniquely made, will only fit where I’m designed to be, and will noticeably be missed if I don’t show up. It also means He’s confident that I can achieve any task He’s assigned.♥️

Whenever I wonder why God chose me, I’m reminded that He hand picked and uniquely designed me to fulfill a particular purpose that ONLY I can fulfill. I was chosen. Same with you! YOU are the ONLY one who can fulfill your unique purpose. YOU were chosen!♥️

Whew! I do not know about you, but being chosen does not always feel like an honor. Sometimes it feels like a burden.

Now, I know the word “chosen” sounds all glamorous and only applies to a select few. However, that’s not so. You, my friend, were also chosen. Smile. Whether you believe it or not, or wanted to be or not, you were chosen to fulfill God’s plan.

As I mentioned earlier, we are all pieces of God’s beautiful puzzle and here to fulfill a purpose. Although we see ourselves as one dimensional pieces, we are actually one of a kind, multi–dimensional pieces. Every facet of our lives are either fulfilling a purpose or meeting a need that only we can. We are so uniquely made that when we try to fit into other spaces we never quite fit. It’s because it’s not where we were chosen to be.

That’s all for now! It’s still early so I think I will go back to sleep. Wishing you a fabulous Sunday. Love you!♥️

Shaun

Life

You Are The Gift

Shaun Bradford
Your matter.

Facebook Memory: February 10, 2022

Gifts are nice and ALWAYS appreciated. However, it’s so important to recognize nothing can replace the gift of your presence. Whether physically or virtually, your presence is priceless. You ARE the gift!

Even though we are gifts to others, let’s remember to appreciate our gifts. Those who God placed in our lives to love and support us. They are priceless. Getting emotional as I think about my gifts. We must hold them dearly.

Side note: You will not be everyone’s gift, nor them yours. Learned this a lot over the past few years. I used to consider everyone a gift. They may have been for someone, but they were not for me. Yeah…took me forever to get this through my head. Listen, treasure your true gifts (don’t be fooled by the fake—the ones who pretend to love on you while intentionally draining you) and let the others go.

This is all for now. Didn’t mean to end on a sour note, but we really have to be careful. As I said before, I am learning. Anyhoo… Wishing you a lovely day and beautiful weekend! One of my gifts (my daughter) is coming home to visit! Can’t wait to love on her!!♥️

Be Blessed♥️

Shaun

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