Tag: Wednesday

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Happy Hump Day! It’s Wednesday again. The second Wednesday of the year, to be exact.

Feeling some kind of way this morning because I am not really feeling anything at all. I don’t feel happy, sad, excited, mad, nothing. As my son would say, “Meh.” Not sure if that’s a feeling but that is exactly where I am.

Usually, by this time of the year, I have created a vision board, made a “progress” video (I make short progression videos at least twice a year where I talk about my goals and things I have accomplished- believe I only made one last year) and have written at least ten journal entries by now. Well, I have not done any of it. So far I only have three journal entries for this year. I know, I blog and make social media posts, but it’s not the same. Five years from now, I need to be able to find out what I was doing on a particular date and without it documented, I will never know. Maybe it’s not as important as I am making it out to be. Maybe I just woke up in my feelings, or with the lack of feelings. Nah.. I’m definitely feeling but unfortunately I don’t have a name for it.

This morning, while going through my Facebook memories, I found this gem, which is more than 30 years old. I shared on Facebook in 2016 with the following caption:

My 12th grade English teacher gave me this 20+ years ago. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me today. 💗

My Inspiration

Everyone in our class received cards from Ms. Tressin, but mine was special. Looking back, she saw something in me that I thought was hidden from the world. She knew I was a dreamer.

Maybe that’s what I am feeling this morning. I have imagined it. I have dreamed it. And yet, here I am thirty years later still chasing the dream. Or am I? Y’all, I believe I am having an “Aha” moment.

So… transparent moment… if you have been following me since last April, you know that I resigned from my job in pursuit of fulfilling my dreams. Well, over the months I have felt like a boat without an anchor, being tossed all over the place. When I resigned, I had no plan, no real direction about where I wanted to go. All I knew is, I was free! Hadn’t felt that free since I was in high school. I felt like I had the opportunity to begin again. However, I had too many years of education, degrees, and experience to just throw it all away. Plus everyone kept making suggestions about where I should be or could be heading. So, I felt compelled to continue along that path. Exactly like a high school senior! Wow!! Well, to be honest, every time I attempt to do it, I feel trapped. I know what to do to make it work. I have done it for years, but it is not where my heart lies. So far I have wasted money on trying to pursue things that would make me money but my heart has not been in anything I have done. Yeah.. it all sounded good but my heart kept screaming “NO!”

Here’s what I truly want at this moment in time, and what I wanted when I resigned. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with my children. Right now I have no desire to pursue a career and be a mom. I just want to be a mom, create memories, share inspirational thoughts and spread love, kindness and hope throughout the world. Sounds pretty flower-childish, doesn’t it? Lol! But that’s what I want to do! And guess what?! It’s exactly what I have been blessed to do. I am living off of less than I have ever made and I’m okay. Question is, shouldn’t I want more?

Maybe I’m thinking too much this morning. This probably should have been a journal entry. Lol. But here it is, my first random rambling of the year. Not going to delete any of it. Just gonna publish and keep going. Everything will work out.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

One word – Omicron

That’s it. That’s the blog.

P.S. If you have not already done so, please get vaccinated. And if you are due for a booster, get that as well. Let’s help save lives.

Stay Safe & Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Here is another awesome post that I found amongst my Facebook memories.

Facebook memory – December 22, 2018

In response to a quote by xonecole: “Don’t go back to less because you’re too impatient to wait for more,” I wrote:

Happy Saturday!! Here’s today’s social media find. As Joe [from Tyler Perry’s Madea movies] would say, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it.” Don’t you dare look back and miss out on what’s to come! Believe me, God is working. He’s ALWAYS working! Now, do your part and be patient.🤗 Y’all be blessed.💕 Wait. God’s got you. Your blessing is coming. Don’t look back. Don’t settle. Goals for 2019.

Well, 2019 was a year of so many highs and lows – moments of happiness, anger, euphoria, sadness, loss and depression. It is one year of my life that I absolutely hate revisiting. But as you can see from my post in 2018, it was also one I was so looking forward to. Little did I know, those high, euphoric moments would help me through some of the worst moments in my life.

Now, here I am three years later, still not settling, refusing to go back to what was, and moving forward. And yes, I am still waiting for whatever and whoever God has planned for my future as well as to fulfill His purpose. Without a doubt, I know the best is yet to come. As Bishop T. D. Jakes often says, what God has for you will not be found in what you left behind. It will be found in what is in front of you. Eyes forward.

God’s got me.

Thanks for reading! Wishing you and your families peace and joy.

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Facebook Memory: December 15, 2018

Last weekend I was in some kind of mood. I kept crying. I felt lonely (but didn’t want to be bothered- lol). I was fed up with school and didn’t feel like completing an assignment. I mean, I was feeling some type of way. Then God began to remind me of His goodness and blessings. At first I wanted to stay in that funk (yes, I was having a real good pity party😆), but it didn’t last long. God let me know that I had so much more ahead of me. I just had to take the first step towards moving forward. That step was to acknowledge His greatness. It’s amazing what can happen when we acknowledge God for who He is– OMNIPOTENT! Whew!!💃🏽 As Pastor [Joel] Osteen says, your chapter doesn’t end here. Turn the page!
PUSH: Pray Until Something Happens

What a word!! So, this particular chapter did not end as expected. It’s okay. Please let go and turn the page. God has already blown your mind many times before. Just imagine what He has waiting in your next chapter.

Of course you will never know if you don’t Turn The Page!

As always, thank you for reading. Wishing you a wonderfully, blessed week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Had a crazy dream that I was pregnant. Yes… pregnant!! I had gone to the doctor for something and left with news that I was about to be a mom. I was like, “You got to be lying! I can’t even have babies.” The first and only person I told was my daughter. She kept asking if I knew how far along I was and I didn’t know. I had no clue I was pregnant. The next thing she asked was about the identity of the father. Umm… I didn’t know that either. In the dream, I went from a couple of weeks pregnant to 8 or 9 months before the dad’s identity was revealed. Talk about weird!

What is even weirder is I just read a journal entry from November 25, 2018 where I also had a dream about a baby. In that dream I had had the baby in June, dropped it off at the babysitter’s, and never picked it up. Talk about CRAZY!! Who does that?! I wrote how once I realized I left the baby, which was months later, I was too embarrassed to ask for the address. Y’all, I had forgotten the babysitter’s address!! I wrote that I told my son about my dream and he encouraged me to search online for the interpretation. I’m not sure if I ever did. However, I ended the entry with, “Maybe the baby was part of me. I lost myself and maybe I need to find her again.”

Looking back, I believe that interpretation was pretty accurate. I was losing myself again and I was too embarrassed to let anyone know. As for this recent dream, I’m not sure how to interpret it. I know that I cannot get pregnant so the pregnancy must symbolize something. I guess if I think about it long enough, I’ll find the answer.

As always, I appreciate you reading my random ramblings. Smile. Please enjoy the rest of your week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Hey y’all! I am a little emotional this morning. Nothing bad. Just feeling slightly sad because this chapter of my life – mom to a high schooler – will soon be ending. Was scrolling through my Facebook memories and came across a picture of my son and I from two years ago. Y’all, it hit me, he’s no longer that same person. He has matured so much since then. The other day I looked over at him and noticed that what was once peach fuzz on his chin can now be considered a beard. His walk is different. Even his stance is different. It seems like it was only months ago that I was like, yeah.. he’s taller than me. Now it seems as if he towers over me.

I know I say this all of the time when I write about my children, but I really do love being a mother. I’ve been asked if I’m ready to become a grandparent and the answer is “Absolutely not!” Lol. My babies have told me that they are not sure if they even want to have children and I am fine with that. I have plenty of nephews and nieces to love on and I’m pretty sure they are going to have babies. So I am good in that area. If I find myself lonely and really want to love on some little ones, I can always volunteer at a school, childcare center or after school program.

Well, I am going to end here because it is time for me to get up and get moving. I just want to say I am so grateful God allowed me the experience of motherhood. It is not something I take for granted.

Forever Grateful

Shaun

New Orleans 2019
Gulfport, MS 2021
Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Thy will be done.

How often have you said, “Thy will be done,” lately? Me, I haven’t. Haven’t said it in a while. I used to say it all of the time, especially when I set out to do something new – new job, new venture, new collaborations, new relationships. I used to pray and ask God if it were in His will to allow it to happen and if not, please allow it to pass. Well, what happened? Why did I stop using my disclaimer (that’s what I call it)?

The answer that comes to mind – I thought I could force whatever I wanted into something that would fit God’s will. I saw the vision. I somewhat know the purpose. However, instead of waiting on God before moving, I thought I would make my own moves to get there. For someone who is always talking about allowing God to lead, I seem to keep falling short in certain areas. It’s as if I do not trust Him with certain aspects of my life. I know that whenever I say, “Thy will be done,” it opens up the doors for any and everything that could possibly happen. In other words, it frightens me. I have witnessed people lose loved ones, become paralyzed, get cancer, and so much more. To me, and I am just being honest, saying that one phrase opens the door for unknown (sometimes bad) things to happen. You could become ill like Job (in the Bible) or get hit with a life that you did not want, something miserable. As I wrote those last few words, God reminded me that Job’s story did not end with him being down. Because of his faithfulness and unwavering belief in God, God restored everything he lost and added more. Job did not live out the rest of his days sick and down, he lived a happy life.

So, who is to say that my worst days are not behind me. Maybe I have already seen my worst. Up until a year or so ago, I used my disclaimer quite often, and God always saw me through the tough times – ALWAYS. Therefore, I must believe that the best is still to come, not the worst. I have to know that saying, “Thy will be done,” releases the shackles I have placed on God and will allow Him to do great things in my life. It is not in His will for me to suffer but to be prosperous. However, I must believe this. And I know from experience, if I only imagine the worst, I will never be open to receive the good. Been through this before. It’s all about mindset.

Lord, Thy will be done.

As always, thanks for reading!

Be Blessed –

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

It’s not Wednesday yet, but it will be by the time I finish writing. I just need to get this out before I go to sleep. Can’t have this heaviness weighing on me.

Warning: This blog is about one of my favorite television shows. Please feel free to stop reading at any time. Believe me, I know it’s not that interesting. I just need to get this off my chest.

Here we go…

I don’t know why certain things bother me so much. Tonight I was watching one of my favorite shows – Tyler Perry’s The Oval – and there was this scene between this married couple that really upset me. Here’s a little of their backstory:

Richard and Nancy have been married for about 24 years. While Richard was deployed Iraq, Nancy had an affair with Richard’s father and had a son. Nancy kept this secret for over 20 years by pretending he was her nephew. Well, after her son was shot and killed she decided to tell Richard the truth – her nephew was actually her son. AND the only reason she told him was because she needed help with paying for her son’s burial. Can you imagine holding a secret like that for years and only confessing because you’re in a bind? Well, that’s what Nancy did. Honestly, I wasn’t as upset about the secret as I was about how she shared the news. She just blurted it out. No shame. No guilt. No remorse. Just blurted it out. She needed Richard’s help and believed that since he was her husband he was supposed to happily give her the money. She could care less about the weight of the news she had just dropped on him. Talk about trifling!

Okay, now on to the part about the baby being his father’s. So, after Richard found out about Nancy’s son, he wanted to know the father’s identity. For weeks he begged her to tell him. Every time he asked, she would blow him off saying it didn’t matter because it was in the past. Well the more she blew him off, the worse things got between them. He kept telling her that all he wanted was the truth. Since she wouldn’t tell him, he decided he would have an affair of his own. Nancy found out about the affair – which never happened because the other lady didn’t want to be in the middle of their mess – and confessed that she had slept with his father. Of course Richard became upset because he assumed his father raped her. Ha! Not the case at all! She actually seduced his father. Said she was lonely. Now that really made him angry. Okay, so maybe this is when he tried to mess around on her but his love interest didn’t want to be involved in their mess. Talk about a smart move on her part. She saw the exit and took it. Lol

Anyway, Richard managed to avoid Nancy for weeks until tonight. Tonight he gave in and I lost all respect for him. Yes, I lost all respect for a fictional character. It was as if the sex made him forget the hurt and betrayal. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. So many people were tweeting how happy they were that Nancy finally got her man back. Ugh.. I was not happy at all. In fact, I was pretty upset. How could he give in that easily. Yes, she apologized with words but her actions didn’t show that she was truly sorry. Yes, she continued to try to love on him hoping he would eventually come around; however.. and here’s the kicker.. she never once acknowledged his feelings. Instead she kept telling him that the affair happened years before and that he shouldn’t be upset because she never did it again. But what difference did that make. Whether it happened over 20 years before or the day before, the pain was still the same, especially since he had just found out.

So here’s why it upset me. I believe if someone hurts you and they are truly sorry for their actions, they will selflessly give you time and space to feel, to be, and to heal; and not discount your feelings. Your feelings matter.

I really needed to get that out. I know the characters are fictional and the drama is definitely fake; however, sometimes things are a little too real. I remember being hurt and feeling betrayed. Even though my feelings weren’t acknowledged, they mattered. One thing I regret is not taking the time to feel and heal. Instead I bottled everything up inside and pretended not to hurt. Now I’m feeling. And healing. What a process.

God is good.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

I cannot believe it’s already the last Wednesday in October! This year has really flown by. Y’all, 2022 is literally right around the corner. I have so many things coming up next year. So many adjustments to make.

First, my daughter will be turning 27 on January 27. Planning something big!

Then, my son graduates from high school in May 2022. We are already applying to colleges, signing up for college tours, and ordering graduation paraphernalia. Not sure if I’m ready for this.

Me.. What do I have planned for myself? Umm.. NOTHING. Which makes me kind of nervous because I knew this time was coming; however, I did not expect it to arrive so soon. I need to start planning for life on my own. Honestly, what will that look like?

One thing I know for sure is that over the next several months I have to be intentional about the moments I have with my two. I will try not to smother them, but I hope they are prepared to be loved on like crazy. Yes, I love my babies.

As always, thanks for reading and enjoy your Wednesday!

Shaun