Life

Wednesday Writings

Facebook memory: September 8, 2018 Caption and picture.

How many of you have tried to rush things and God said, “Be still” or “Be patient”?

Be Still
Be Patient
God’s Working

I’m not going to lie, I have been feeling pretty low for a few days now. Can’t seem to stop crying. I keep asking myself where is my life headed. Honestly, it seems like my ambitions and dreams have shriveled up. All I’m left with is nothingness. Like, I feel nothing. I want nothing. I’m just here.

Yesterday, my son said I needed to get out the house and go somewhere, anywhere. I was like, all I’ve been doing is going. He said I needed to go somewhere for myself, not to take care of things for someone else. So, we drove down to the coast for lunch. He was right, I needed to do something for me. Now, here I am laying here with my thoughts. I just can’t seem to stop crying. I’ve been patient with myself for years, so why am I not further along? I don’t want to die without achieving my dreams; however, right now, I don’t have any drive to move forward. None. I just want to be.

I know this moment will pass. It always does. But it’s becoming harder and harder to bounce back. This is hard to admit but I’m beginning to feel hopeless. Just being transparent.

Shaun

Life

Feeling Drained

Life and death.
Death and life.
One thing I am learning about death, it either brings families closer together or push them further apart. It brings out the worst in some and the best in others. Some are only in it for recognition, while others truly care. So many egos. So many hurt feelings. It’s too much.

Y’all, I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Today, all I want to do is be alone. Disconnecting today and will pick back up tomorrow. I just need a minute to process it all.

My life.
My world.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Today would have been Aunt Beaulah’s 65th Birthday. I don’t usually celebrate birthdays of deceased relatives. However, today I am going to celebrate hers. I think it is fitting since we buried her yesterday. I will just call it an extended home going celebration. I believe she would get a kick out of it.

Today is for you, Aunt Beaulah!

Beaulah Sutton