Tag: peace

Life

Can I SCREAM, Now?!

Shaun Bradford

Scream: To give a long, loud, piercing cry or cries, expressing excitement, great emotion, or PAIN

I say that I want to scream, but I believe I need to scream. I am so frustrated, right now. Honestly, I have been frustrated– BEYOND frustrated– since my brother passed. People have said that I need to give myself time to process his death. HA! Easier said than done.

But to be completely transparent, yeah.. because who am I kidding, that whole divorce thing did a number on me. After my divorce was final, I thought I was finally free and about to live my best life. My birthday theme was “46 & FREE!” I was posting, “New beginnings” all over the place. Then three months later, my brother died, unexpectedly. Y’all, what a blow! We were supposed to be together until we were old and grey. But God had other plans. Now, here we are in the lovely year of 2020. Speechless.

Y’all, can I SCREAM, now???

The only visual I can give you of how I am feeling, and what I want to do… correction… what I NEED to do, comes from Michael and Janet Jackson’s video Scream. Soooo…

Shaun

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I Surrender All

Shaun Bradford

Yesterday was very long and draining— mentally and emotionally. So, I reinstalled my social media apps with the intention of only posting my blog and managing business accounts. Needless to say, I fell right back into the same trap as before. I could not stop scrolling through the stories. Some of the stories were horrifying– people being tear gassed, looters destroying stores and properties, and people crying for justice. While other stories offered hope– law enforcement officers marching alongside protesters, white friends and colleagues recognizing and denouncing racism, and people being blessed in the midst of this madness. All of it was so overwhelming.

Some time during my scrolling and crying, I fell asleep. When I awoke, I had this song stuck in my head, I Surrender All. Growing up, we would sing it during alter calls (part of church services where people asked for prayer). The song says:

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee, my Blessed Savior
I surrender all

Y’all, I needed this reminder. For the sake of my sanity, I have to surrender all to God. For the sake of humanity, we must surrender all. There is a scripture in the Bible that reads:

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

Believe it and be blessed.

Shaun

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Praying . . .

Shaun Bradford

Today is June 1, 2020. It is the first day of my birthday month. Although my birthday falls towards the end of the month, I am usually celebrating right now. Everyone who knows me knows I love my birthdays! Y’all, right now I should be happily planning my celebration and counting down the days; however, I am not. This year, for the first time since I was a little girl, I am not excited. Do not get me wrong, I am grateful.. very grateful, but not excited.

Honestly, how can I celebrate while our county is in turmoil? We are outraged about the murders of our black men and women by the hands of those who swore to protect and serve our citizens. We are angry about injustices black and brown people face daily due to systemic, overt, and subtle racism. We are angry because we are angry! Believe me, this is not the country our forefathers imagined. They would be devastated to know that we are still fighting for civil rights in 2020. When will it end?

So, this year, instead of spending time planning my celebration, I am going to spend it praying for our nation. Yes, I believe in the power of prayer because GOD is still in control. My prayer is that God places His arms of protection around our families, friends, and neighbors. That He breaks down ALL negative barriers to include hatred, racism, anger, and divisiveness; and that He unites our nation through love and peace. Y’all, I truly believe, with my whole heart and soul, that love conquers all. I am not saying that bad things will not happen or evil will never exist. However, I do believe that there is more good in this world, than bad. I refuse to believe otherwise. Praying. . .

Shaun

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I Deleted My Social Media Apps

Shaun Bradford

It is so sad when the only way you can regulate your time on social media is to delete the apps. Yes, I deleted ALL of them – Twitter (my greatest distraction), Facebook and Instagram. Not sure how long this will last. However, at this very moment, I am no longer connected.

Releasing all of the negative, pinned up energy. Only positive thoughts and vibes.

Shaun

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This Too Will Pass

Shaun Bradford

I needed to write. Writing helps me process my feelings, especially when I am sad, confused or angry. Up until this point, I have not written anything about George Floyd’s murder, or any of the aftermath. Not even in my journal. Which is pretty odd. I keep telling myself I need to document this. But I have not been able to write. I guess it is because I cannot log off social media. I go from Twitter to Facebook to Instagram, then back to Twitter. The stories are so overwhelming, yet so mesmerizing. It is like I am here, but not here. I need to get a grip.

In the midst of all of my thoughts this morning, a song came to mind. A song that I used to listen to as a child— This Too Will Pass, by the late Reverend James Cleveland. The song says:

I’ve had heartaches like this before, and I’ve had disappointments by the score. I claim the victory at last. This too will pass. The sun will shine, it can’t rain all the time. The clouds are gray, will soon have to pass away.

Guess what– this too will pass. God is working. Brighter days are coming. Be blessed!

Shaun

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Celebrating 20 Years of Friendship

Shaun Bradford

This picture only represents a snippet of the relationship I have with my friend, T. Only using her initial because she does not like people in her business. Believe me, I am not crazy! Anyhoo… T and I met in culinary school 20 years ago. Yes, in 2000. Honestly, I do not know how we became friends. She was a comic book collector and loved Fred G. Sanford, Redd Foxx’s character on Sanford & Son. Y’all, Fred was hilarious! So, when I think about it, maybe it was her references to Fred that drew me to her. I mean, not a day went by that she did not say, “You know what Fred would say.” That was 20 years ago. To this day, Fred always ends up in our conversations. ALWAYS!

As with my other friends, I believe our friendship has lasted because we give each other space; or, maybe it is because they give me space. Hmmm… something to think about. Anyway, most people would not believe that T and I live 20 minutes from each other and only physically see each other once a year. Sometimes it is longer than that. We keep in touch through texts. Y’all, I am so happy texting was invented. For real! However, unlike my other friends, T texts me daily. Every morning she texts me a scripture from the Bible, and sometimes she includes inspirational messages. Now, I am not going to lie, I am not that consistent. I might text her something once or twice a week. But she ALWAYS sends me something inspirational, daily.

This morning, she sent the text in the picture along with a scripture. When God placed us together 20 years ago, He knew we would still be friends today. Forever grateful to have her in my life.

Shaun

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Enjoying the Quietness

Shaun Bradford

Decided to start my day early. I can finally hear birds chirping. I also hear cars driving in the distance. However, things are pretty still and quiet in my house. Well, besides the hum of the refrigerator. You know what… I think I will sit here for a few more minutes and just be. Yeah.. just BE.

Hope you enjoy your day!

Shaun

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Missing Momma Kate

Shaun Bradford

Sitting in my recliner watching episodes of Matlock and In the Heat of the Night. I remember watching these shows, along with the Golden Girls, late at night with my grand-godmother, Momma Kate. It was our nightly ritual whenever I visited. I would sit in her bedroom in the rocking chair, while she laid in bed. We rarely spoke. Just watched our shows. I miss those days. Grateful God placed her in my life. So thankful for the wonderful memories.

Shaun

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The Root Cause

Shaun Bradford

Watching the sun rise as I watch For Colored Girls. Y’all, I have not watched this movie in ages. I am so glad I chose to watch it today. Been dealing with a few things and this movie is just what I needed. I keep telling y’all, God is so good. He delivers exactly what we need when we need it.

This movie reminded me that many or our hurts and insecurities are so deeply rooted; and unfortunately, many of us have allowed them to control our lives. It is evident by the way we carry ourselves, the way we interact with others, and our lack of self-love. We may be able to fool others, but we cannot fool ourselves. Y’all, we know we have issues.

Honestly, we will never heal if we do not address the root cause of our problems. Yeah.. we have to start with the root. What happened? What hurt us? Who hurt us? When? How? So many questions. Questions that need to be asked. Questions we have the answer to but are afraid to address. Mostly because the truth hurts. Yet, if we do not address them, we will never heal.

For me, this is going to be a long weekend. I have decided to use this time to reflect and heal.

Note: I am choosing to go down this path on my own. I need to. However, you do not have to. I recommend consulting a professional, licensed therapist. I have used their services before. Y’all, therapy works!

Shaun

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In God’s Hands

Shaun Bradford

One of my cousins shared the attached quote on Facebook. It says it all. God has everything worked out. From our current needs to our future desires.

Sometimes I find myself playing different scenarios over and over in my head trying to figure out how something will end. You know, “What will happen if I do this?” or “How will they react if I say that?” For me, this happens almost daily. However, I am slowly learning to go with the flow. From past experiences, after spending countless hours daydreaming about how something will happen, nothing ever happens as I imagine. NEVER! So, why worry. We are in God’s hands.

Be Blessed

Shaun