Category: Life

Life happens. Go with the flow.

Life

I Really Feel Like Writing Today

Shaun Bradford

So, this is like the third time I’ve shared today. Told y’all in my initial Wednesday Writings blog that I have a lot on my mind. Today is the day my brother passed and I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it, but I can’t there’s no way around it. I keep thinking about the months, weeks and days before his death. It’s like part of my life was coming to a climax. I could feel it.

Been crying most of the day so I’m just going to leave it alone because I’m tired of crying.

A few hours ago, I watched a message by Pastor Dharius Daniels – I Don’t Need Closure. Very interesting and so timely. I always say God gives me exactly what I need when I need it. He just loves me like that. Smiling. From the title you would think the message was about not needing closure after a relationship has ended, but it was sooo much more than that. It was about Job (in the Bible) and all that he went through and lost. In the end he regained all that he lost plus more. And God never gave him details about why he went through what he did. Now, I’m not comparing my life to Job’s, but I am wondering when will this pain end. Have I not been faithful? Have I not done all I’ve been asked? I try not to complain. I try to remain hopeful. I always try to take the high road. My feelings get walked all over. And life remains the same. Where am I going wrong? Yeah.. today’s not a good day. I’m tired. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being used. I’m tired of being blown off. I’m tired of being the responsible one. Tired of trying to hold everything together. I have feelings and I do hurt. They say there’s a lesson behind every heartache and disappointment, but is there? Especially if you never know why you went through what you did.

As I said in my other blog, I know this is just a moment in time. It will pass. It always does. But right now, it hurts.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings, Part 2

Shaun Bradford

After reading a few journal entries, I’ve discovered the drive behind my faith– optimism. High optimism. Basically, my faith is the strongest when my head is in the clouds. When I believe the impossible is possible. And guess what? That’s exactly when the impossible actually happens. Y’all, when I’m on an optimistic high, the earth moves!

For the past few years – since October 2019 – I haven’t cared for October. But looking back, October used to be my month. It’s the month that I usually attend our national dietetics conference – FNCE. I always looked forward to attending them because they seemed to boost my drive to do more and be more. Y’all, I really feed of off energy. And right now, I feel depleted. Honestly, I feel like the Little Engine That Could. I keep saying, “I think I can. I think I can,” but can’t. Honestly, my adrenaline is gone and I’m running off of vapors. Praying, praying, praying that I find another source of energy.

Wow! Just writing this has been eye opening. I’ve actually been feeding off of their energy… Okay, so how do I produce my own? Asking God

Anyhoo.. me and my “Aha” moments. At least this is a start. Thanks for reading Part 2 of Wednesday Writings.♥️

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

It’s a little after 3:00 AM and since I’m up, I’ll write. I have so much on my mind. Isn’t it interesting how no matter how much you try to clear your thoughts, even through meditation, when you’re finished, everything comes rushing back. No matter how many inspirational videos I watch, messages I hear or pep talks I get, there’s always one or two things always nagging me. After writing that last sentence I heard, “Where is your faith?”. Interesting…

It’s interesting because there have been times in my life where my faith was so high that nothing around me bothered me. Then there have been times, like now, when my faith has been exhausted. Exhausted…

Y’all, I really need to get away. I’m not used to being so still. One thing I miss about life before COVID, is being able to travel freely and interacting with people. I’m not going to lie, the pandemic did a number on me and I have yet to recover. It’s like I don’t know how to jump back into the game.

Last night I was talking to a friend and she told me about odd jobs she’s taken on just to do something different outside of her full-time job. While we were talking, I considered doing the same. Then when I got off the phone, I was like, I love the flexibility of my life. I can’t even see myself tied to an 8-5 or any kind of rigid schedule. I like creating my own schedule. Funny thing is, when I did work 8-5, I created my own schedule. Had been for years. Outside of scheduled meetings, I was free to operate as I pleased. Looking back, I was pretty spoiled. Now, I can’t even imagine myself working like that again. (Shaking My Head)

Yeah.. times are weird. I thought I would have Nutrition with LaShaundreaB fully launched by now, but life happened. And every time I think about “life” happening, I think about if I was working like I had planned, I wouldn’t have been able to take time off to care for my parents.

Yeah.. life is interesting. I know this is only one small moment in time that my faith is low. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean, I had been on an emotional high for over a year and a half. Maybe it was too high.. if that’s even a thing.

So.. where is my faith?

Umm… I think it’s time I go find it. The good part is, I don’t have to look far or find inspiration or encouragement from some outside source. I have tons of journal entries full of encouragement and acts of faith, love and blessings. I’m sooo grateful God made me who I am. Even though I hate being a loner at times, He’s made it so that I will always be able to make it even if I am alone. It’s times like this that I wish I had a boo to talk to. (Sigh) Again, life!

Thanks for reading another round of my early morning ramblings. Now, let me go read a few journal entries because I hate being in a funk.

Shaun

Life

Keep Striving

Shaun Bradford

Things will happen in life that will make you question whether pursuing your dreams, goals and purpose is even worth it. Guess what? It is! As long as you’re breathing, keep striving for the desires of your heart. DON’T GIVE UP!

Today, a few Facebook memories popped up that reminded me of my dreams, goals and purpose. I can’t give up. Yes, I’m tired. Like.. really tired. But I can’t give up. I have to see these things through.

One of the memories was of General Colin Powell’s passing. Oh how I wanted to meet him. I just knew I would. Same with Kofi Annan. I keep thinking that maybe if I was intentional about it, it could’ve happened. Life. Remembering Colin Powell🕊♥️ ~ Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

This morning I’m singing I Won’t Complain for myself and my parents. We’re all aging and life doesn’t look like it used to. However, God’s been so good to us, and all of our good days have definitely outweighed our bad. I know God’s got us! Amen

I Won’t Complain by Rev. Paul Jones
Lyrics by The Mezzo Agency, LLC

… I’ve had some good days
I’ve had some hills to climb
I’ve had some weary days
And some sleepless nights

… But when I look around
And I think things over
All of my good days
Outweigh my bad days
I won’t complain

… Sometimes the clouds are low
I can hardly see the road
I ask a question, Lord
Lord, why so much pain?
But he knows what’s best for me
Although my weary eyes
They can’t see
So I’ll just say thank you Lord
I won’t complain

… The Lord
Has been so good to me
He’s been good to me
More than this old world
Or you could ever be
He’s been so good
To me

… He dried all of my tears away
Turned my midnights into day
So I’ll just say thank you Lord
I’ve been lied on
But thank you Lord
I’ve been talked about
But thank you Lord
I’ve been misunderstood
But thank you Lord
You might be sick
Body reeking with pain
But thank you Lord
The bills are due
Don’t know where
The money coming from
But thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
I want
I want to thank God
God
God
God
Has been so good to me
He’s been good to me
More than this old world
Or you could ever be
He’s been so good
He’s been so good
He’s been so good
So good
So good
So good
So good
To me
He dried all of my tears away
Turned my midnight into day

Thanks for reading and singing along (smile). I pray you have a blessed week.

Shaun