I’m really trying to create healthier habits by sticking to my scheduled times. I’ve allotted 1.5 hours to tweet during and after my shows. Tonight I did well. My show ended almost 30 minutes ago and I decided not to use the full 30 minutes to tweet afterwards. I also logged off Facebook. I have to stick with my set schedule because I really hate how attached I’ve become to social media. The only way things will change is for me to be intentional about changing them.
It’s Wednesday, my tweet night! Y’all, I just love live tweeting during my shows. There’s nothing like reading people’s reactions to different scenes in real time, you know, before they actually have time to process what happened. Some people analyze scenes based on reality or cinematography, while others just watch for pure entertainment (that would be me!). Listen, I love the far-fetched storylines and scenes that seem to drive so many crazy. I guess it’s because they remind me of some of my crazy dreams. Baby, my dreams are very entertaining! Anyway, with that said, all of the storylines aren’t unbelievable, most depict real life situations. Believe me, some have evoked feelings and emotions I thought I had long buried. But don’t worry, I’m not writing about those today– they’re way too intense. I plan to keep this one light. Today’s blog is about one of my favorite characters on Tyler Perry’s Sistas.
Aaron is his name. The only reason I’m writing about Aaron is because, in my opinion, his character is the most genuine. However… so many don’t like him. Yes, he’s had a bit of a controversial past. I mean, his ex-wife committed suicide because he divorced her. I know, seems pretty dark, but there’s more to the story. At first, I thought he was a little harsh– hmm.. now I’m sounding like Andi describing Gary, who’s abusive and in Aaron’s anger management group…
Y’all know what, I’ll have to save this “think piece,” as my daughter would call it, for some other time. After having my “Andi” moment, I’m beginning to think I’m the one who’s delusional. Maybe Aaron isn’t the person I think he is. Who I want him to be. Have I been bamboozled? Am I only seeing what I want to see? Please say it ain’t so!!
I’ll write more about Aaron after I see a few more episodes. Fingers crossed that he really is the guy I think he is. We need at least one level-headed, genuine guy on the show who’s not afraid to be vulnerable or constantly trying to prove himself. I believe Preston and Maurice also fall into this category. I would say, “but they’re not my type.” However, I can’t do it without laughing because smart butt Maurice would come back with, “You not my type either!!” Lol!
Listen, if you’re looking for a good show to watch, check out #SistasOnBET. I would love your feedback about Aaron. Like, for real. One day I’m going to start dating again and he’s definitely my type. I want to make sure I’m not overlooking red flags. Help a sista out!
Saw one of my former favorite daytime soap stars, Kristoff St. John, on The Jamie Foxx show. Seeing him reminded me of the song, Pressure, by Jonathan McReynolds. Although Kristoff’s cause of death was listed as hypertrophic heart disease, I believe he died from a broken heart and pressure from others to move past his son’s death. I wish he was given time and space to grieve. He passed away in 2019 at the age of 52.
Last night I watched the movie, “Malcom and Marie,” which was a 2-hour dialogue between a couple who had just come home from an awards ceremony. Malcom had won an award for a movie he produced about a 20 year old model/aspiring actress who had overdosed on drugs. Marie.. well.. I don’t care how many ways Malcom tried to spin the story.. Marie was his inspiration behind the movie. I’m not going to give away too much of the movie. I want to give you a chance to watch it because, I don’t know about you, I hate spoilers. So, I’ll just leave you with this:
Most women are nurturers. When we love someone, we tend to put their needs and feelings before our own. From the macaroni scene, to stifling her feelings, until the end, Marie was that woman. But did Malcom notice? Do men notice? Like Marie, most of us suppress our feelings, smile and keep going like we’ve never been hurt or bothered. Is it right? Heck, no! But it’s what we do. It’s who we are. Like most women, Marie didn’t want to steal Malcom’s shine. She just wanted to feel appreciated.
Hmm… Wonder what would happen if we started putting ourselves first?
Women, nurturers, Queens, thank you for your selfless acts of love. For acts that go unnoticed. For the things you do that are second nature. Thank you for holding households together while trying to maintain your own sanity. Thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for loving hard even when it’s hard to love. Thank you for pressing forward through your tears. Thank you for being that rock. Thank you for the sacrifices you make so that others can excel. Thank you for being you. In my Tupac voice, “You are appreciated!”
A few hours ago I took part in a panel interview to discuss my chapter in the book. Feeling like a fraud because I wasn’t completely honest about my relationship with my ex. I never really discussed my divorce because I felt ashamed. In the interview I said I was ashamed that I had divorced someone who wasn’t abusive. Hmm…
I hate that I still can’t talk about any of this. I want to tell my story, but I can’t because I’m always thinking about everyone else’s feelings; always trying to protect others. I feel like such a fake. So much for transparency. Just know that just because you can’t see signs of abuse doesn’t mean it’s not happening. And when someone tells you they’ve been abused, please believe them.
I really should be asleep, but since I’m awake I’ll write. Was having a crazy dream about the rock band KISS, rappers Kid n Play, and eating dry cornbread in some fancy hotel room. Woke up coughing and reaching for water. I bet I can’t find KISS, Kid n Play, or dry cornbread in one of those dream book. Y’all, even while asleep, I’m being entertained. Gotta love life!
Anyhoo.. Yesterday I came across a photo I had taken at a conference. It was a picture of one of the speakers’ slides which read, “Preparation. Protection. Promotion.” I remember the speaker saying these are the steps God takes us through each time we embark on something new. First, we’re prepped for it. Meaning, we go through all kinds of tests and trials until God believes we’re ready to move to the next phase- Protection.
God’s protection zone is usually uncomfortable because it’s where nothing appears to be happening. You’re still in the preparation phase but you think you’re ready to shine. You know, it’s where you keep saying, “God, I’m ready!” and He responds with, “Not yet.” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve gone through years of saying “I’m ready, Lord.” Only to hear Him say, “Be still. Not yet.” I’ve learned from experience that when He says to be still, I need to be still. It means I’m being protected. His method of protection reminds me of a parent protecting a child from touching something hot. The parent constantly tells the child not to touch the object because they’ll get burned. But once the parent turns their back, the child touches it. Lol. As I said, I’ve learned from experience to listen.
The protection phase isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s where you get to make mistakes and no one seems to notice. You get to try what works and what doesn’t work. I guess you can say it’s the “trial and error” phase of the journey. The only problem I’ve had with this phase is that, it some situations, it can become too comfortable. Sometimes it becomes so comfortable that when God says it’s go time, you refuse to move. You make excuses for not moving forward. As usual, I’m not just writing this for you; as I write, God is speaking to me, too.
So, once God says you’re ready– which, from my experience, is when you feel the least prepared– comes the promotion. Promotion is scary, yet exhilarating; especially if you like adventures! However, promotion comes with a cost. Promotion comes with more exposure. More vulnerability. More responsibilities. As Biggie said, “Mo money, mo problems.” However, as Fred Hammond said, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Y’all, I’m so grateful I have God in my corner. When the problems come, or I encounter situations that seem unbearable, He reminds me that I can handle anything that’s thrown my way because I’m His child. I’m royalty!
This year I’m walking into new adventures standing tall knowing that God’s with me every step of the way. Ready or not Shaun, it’s game time!
As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Now it’s time to go back to sleep.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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