I hadn’t looked at all of my Facebook memories until moments ago. Six years ago, I created my social media platform, “Mississippi Thriving.” I posted my official welcome message in December of that year, so you may see me celebrate milestones in February and December.
Here’s what I wrote on this date in 2019 and 2020.
My nephews. Only two of my other babies. I have a lot of them.🥰
In the past six years, I have connected with so many wonderful people who share my same vision for a healthier, brighter, and thriving Mississippi. Although it may feel as if we’ll never see it happen in our lifetimes, I still believe it’s possible.
This post has been in my drafts since January 8, 2022. I wrote it for another blog, but can’t locate the link. Glad I saved it here. This was my mother.
Title: Momma, I See You
I was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother. Yep.. three generations of teen moms. My mother was 14 years old when she became pregnant with me and 15 when she gave birth. What’s ironic is my grandmother was also pregnant. Not only was she about to birth her eighth child at 30, but she was also about to become a first time grandmother. Can you imagine being 30 years old with eight children and your first grandchild on the way? Oh… and my great grandmother, my grandmother’s mom, had 12 children at the time and she was only 43. Y’all, I’m 47 with two children. Had my first child at 21 and my second at 30. Just thinking about what it must have felt like being a teenage mother is unimaginable, let alone having multiple children and grandchildren by the age of 30.
Well, a few years ago, during one of my mom’s frequent visits to the emergency room, I thought about what it must have felt like to be responsible for another life at such a young age. When I arrived at the hospital, she was in so much pain. Every time the nurses touched her she moaned. I wanted to help but couldn’t. Finally the doctor gave her something to ease the pain and she fell asleep. I didn’t leave. I just sat there watching her sleep. Honestly, it was like watching a stranger. The person I saw lying there wasn’t the loud, strong, opinionated woman I knew. This woman was vulnerable, tired, and broken. That’s when it hit me that she was so much more than my mother, she was a woman.
While sitting there, I began reminiscing about my childhood and the sacrifices she had made for me and my five siblings. She always made sure our needs were met even if she had to go without. When I was a baby, she worked in the cotton fields to buy me clothes and pampers. She married a man twice her age, and endured abuse, so that she could support me. By the time she divorced him two years later, she had another little girl to support. Although she had two toddlers, she graduated from high school early and enrolled in college. At 18 she was walking the campus of Jackson State University with two in tow. I still remember attending night classes with her when she couldn’t find a babysitter. During that time she was always learning something new as well as introducing us to new things. For me, that was the most exciting time of my childhood. Also, she was no stranger to hard work. Throughout my childhood, I don’t ever remember hearing her complain about taking on second jobs or not being able to take off for vacations. She did what she had to do to provide for her family. I remember how one year she walked miles to work in the snow, while pregnant with one of my younger sisters. One day she slipped and fell and still went to work. That’s how dedicated and selfless she was. Although she experienced heartaches, disappointments, and abuse, we rarely saw her cry. She was the rock of the family.
Needless to say, by the time I left the hospital I was a changed woman. I saw my mom through a different lens. Not only her but my grandmother and great grandmother as well. I often wonder what kind of sacrifices and compromises did they have to make to ensure their children had everything they needed.
Listen, like most mother-daughter relationships, my mother and I have had our ups and downs. However, it wasn’t until I put myself in her shoes that I was able to better understand some of her experiences and decisions. I will admit that the woman she was throughout my childhood made me the woman I am today, and for that, I’m grateful.
The months I spent with her before she passed were a blessing I didn’t know I needed. I needed that time with her. Even though it was like caring for a child at times, I still knew I was hers. So many times I wanted to climb up in the hospital bed with her.
My momma…
She made us take pictures that day (June 1997). She just had to have a family photo even though we weren’t dressed for one.😅We were so unserious. But it was her day, and there was no way we weren’t going to comply. She was still Momma! We also took pictures with my grandma (her mom). About a couple of weeks later, my grandma suddenly died. The following year, my mom became paralyzed from the waist down.
Life can change in the blink of an eye. Make sure you cherish every moment with those you love.♥️
“Never give up on your dreams. You’re still breathing, so your dreams are still possible.”
When I shared the image and caption above on Instagram and YouTube, I included Yolanda Adams’ song “Never Give Up.” The song says (Lyrics: LyricFind)—
Visions that can change the world Trapped inside an ordinary girl She looks just like me To afraid to dream out loud
And though it’s set for your idea It won’t make sense to everybody You need courage now If you’re going to persevere
To fulfill your divine purpose You’ve gotta answer when you’re called So don’t be afraid to face the world Against all odds
Keep the dream alive don’t let it die, if something deep inside Keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop And never give up; don’t ever give up on you Don’t give up
When I tell you this last year has been about full-circle moments! Last June, I began serving my second term as president-elect for my state’s dietetics association (the first time was in 2015). Back in November, I was reconnected with someone I wanted to work on a project with ten years ago. Today, we are working on a similar project that’s even better than the one I envisioned. Then, last night, I attended an event and connected with someone who could possibly help me with another project I wanted to work on ten years ago.
Y’all, I had given up on both projects—projects that were part of my dream—but God said not so!
Despite the craziness happening right now, God is still bringing dreams to life. I can’t help but be in awe of Him!
I am finally settling back into a place of rest and peace, a space I found a few years ago and was doing so well in until a few months ago. As they say, you never know how you’ll react to situations until you encounter them. Honestly, I never expected to react the way that I did—basically having an emotional breakdown because of so many negative things that were happening across our nation. I thought I was beyond being bothered in such a way. I kept trying to find my way back to resting in God, but the more negative news I saw and heard, the more defeated I felt. I felt as if my lifelong dream of a peaceful, kind, and loving world had been shattered and was beyond repair. I know it might seem weird to associate my dreams with my hopes for humanity, but for me, they’re connected—we’re connected. What affects one does affect all. Maybe not immediately, but in time it does.
So, what changed?
I began limiting my time on social media, especially X. Since doing so, I’ve noticed life is more peaceful. I had to set boundaries for myself and stick to them. I haven’t missed as much as I thought I would. Whenever I log on, I’m greeted with wonderful news and encouraging posts (the algorithm is finally working in my favor😌). For some reason, I thought I’d miss things if I weren’t tuned in all day. Fortunately, no one has passed. No one’s been hurt. The world is still intact, and so is my mental and emotional health. Isn’t God good?
I must remember God’s in control, and my life is in His hands. I’m covered, and my dreams are still intact. There is still more good in this world than not.❤️ ~ Shaun
It’s Shaun’s World 
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