Tag: mother

Life

I Am My Rescue

Shaun Bradford

Facebook Memory: February 8, 2022

Once you realize you’re responsible for your own survival, you begin to move differently.

That’s what I shared two years ago after watching one of Lisa Nichols motivational videos. Everything she said about making a way for herself and her son to live a better life resonated with me. But to be honest, I never looked for someone to rescue me. I always knew I was my rescue. Often, I was so much of a superwoman that I turned away help. Sometimes much needed help. Mostly because I never truly trusted anyone to help without there being a hidden agenda.

From what I witnessed, even from childhood, the only reason people helped was to go back and tell others how they helped you or for you to return the favor. Back then it was my mom needing help, whether with babysitting or financially. I saw how she was treated. Even heard what others said through their children. My mom never asked for help often. She was always very independent and a very hard worker. When my sister and I were babies, she picked cotton during the summers to take care of us (yes, in the 1970s). With that being said, she also graduated high school a year early and immediately went to college, and took me and my sister with her. She refused to leave us behind. She was her own rescue. So, whenever she did ask for help it was because she really needed it. For reference—My mother was a teen mom. Had me at age 15 and my sister at 16.

As an adult, I swore I would never ask for help, and rarely accepted it. Whatever I needed, I learned to get it on my own. One of the hardest things I had to do was ask for help after becoming a single parent. And most of the time it was because I needed a babysitter. I never asked for financial assistance, even when I needed it most. So, that statement did and still does resonate with me. I am my rescue, but now with God’s guidance. I have found there is a huge difference between doing things on my own and doing things with God.

Didn’t intend to write this much. Wishing you a wonderful day!♥️

Shaun

Life

My Jewel

Shaun Bradford

Today is my bonus mom’s birthday! Didn’t quite know how I would feel when today came since my biological mom is no longer here. Plus, it’s also a reminder that my biological mom’s birthday is coming up (February 21) and I won’t be able to celebrate it with her. Yep… I am feeling pretty emotional this morning.

My Jewel—her name is actually Jewel—is one of a kind. She has been in my life since I was about three weeks old, so my entire life. She tells everyone I was her first baby, even though she was pregnant with my late brother at the time of my birth. I have always loved her just as much as I loved my mom. Sometimes I feel guilty because I still have a mother here with me and my siblings do not. I feel so guilty that I rarely mention her around them. Like today’s her birthday and out of respect for them, I am not going to post anything on Facebook. However, I will celebrate her here. When God blessed me with her, He blessed me with a gem. So, how can I not celebrate my blessing.

My jewel.♥️

I have to take some updated pictures. Been using the same one for years. My sister and I have so many pictures with my dad, but not many with Momma. Gotta change that…TODAY! Yes, I will be seeing her in a few hours. I am working an hour away from her today so I am planning a surprise visit. Can’t wait to see her and love on her a little.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading. I pray y’all have a great day.

Love you,

Shaun

But y’all, I miss my Momma. I miss her soooo much.♥️

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Hey Y’all! This is like day 30 something that I’ve been blogging from this oh so comfy hospital futon. Gotta love it!

I keep telling myself I’m built for this. That God will never put more on me than I can bear. Sometimes I believe it, then other times I’m not so sure.

I always say I love watching God work – referring to the great things that I see Him doing in other’s lives. However, with that said, I also know that they’re human and can’t possibly be exempt from difficult times. I refuse to believe that they’re that special because I KNOW God loves me! Therefore, I’m considering this one of those difficult moments that I have endure before I get to greatness. Yes.. greatness! My God doesn’t play small. He always plays BIG. Smiling

Side note: When I speak about greatness, I’m not referring to notoriety, but my own personal feeling of achievement. Right now, it seems like I have eons to go. However, I must remember that God’s blessings will always make up for whatever time I feel I have lost.

Okay y’all, I’m going back to sleep. It’s early. I’m only awake because my mom keeps calling me to change the channel and asking when are they bringing breakfast. Y’all, she doesn’t want my peanut butter crackers. Said that’s for healthy folks. And she can’t see or hear the tv to know what’s on, but I keep turning it anyway. Funny and fun times from this hospital room. Can’t help but laugh. This too will pass.

Praying you have a lovely Sunday!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Today.

Tonight.

This morning.

Has to be the hardest night/day yet.

They say things get worse before they get better.

When will better come? Not for me, but for her.

Praying…

Shaun

Good Times! 2010
Life

Grateful

Shaun Bradford

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday and last night, things were really rough. My mom was in so much pain and nothing helped. Around 4:00 AM the pain medicine finally kicked in and she was finally able to fall asleep. When she woke up around 8:00 AM, she was all smiles– the pain had subsided. By mid-afternoon, she had regained some of her hearing in her right ear. Not sure if I even mentioned this in previous blogs, but my mom had lost her hearing in both ears between waking up in ICU and making it to her hospital room. Y’all, when I tell you God is sooo good!

Sitting here eating and happened to look out the window. I know it’s God’s way of letting me know everything is going to be alright. Amen

Just For Me
Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Today’s a brand new day. So grateful for life. So blessed that Momma is still with us. Although the progression process has been very slow, she’s still progressing. Taking things one day at a time. Prayers for continued peace, patience and guidance. Amen

Shaun

Life

The Flow

Shaun Bradford

Life happens, right? And some things are just completely beyond our control. I would say this past week has taught me the meaning of, “Just go with the flow.” However, it’s one lesson I’ve been learning over the past year and a half.

Last night I finally stop resisting it, even the slightest bit. Last night I changed my prayer from, “Lord, I’m tired. Please help me make it.” to “Lord, I know you will not put more on me than I can bear. Please help me handle things from a place of peace.”

Today, I’m going with the flow from a place of peace. Projects that need to get done will be done when I get to them. Deadlines will have to be pushed back, and I’m okay with that. I know that where I am at this moment is where I need to be. God’s got me. Everything will always work out according to God’s plan, which will always be in my favor. ♥️

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

UPDATE #2: My mom is AWAKE and talking!!! God is soooo good!!! Thank y’all so much for the prayers.♥️

UPDATE: I spoke with my Mom’s ICU nurse a little while ago. She said that my mom actually responded to a few commands this morning. She also held her eyes open for a while. This is all great news!🙏🏽

The past several days have been overwhelming. However, the good news is, my mom is still with us.

As for me, I can’t even begin to describe where I’m at emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if I’m experiencing multiple emotions all at once– frustration, sadness, confusion, and loneliness, then throw in a bit of optimism. Ugh!

Y’all, I’m exhausted but can’t seem to rest. Haven’t had much of an appetite; however, I’m eating because I know I’m supposed to. Basically, I have been forcing myself to eat, drink and sleep. Every time I feel like I have a handle on things, something else pops up.

Yesterday Momma opened her eyes for a brief moment while my sister and I were in the room. Y’all, it felt like a miracle had happened. We were so happy. That was during the first ICU visitation. During each visitation that followed, we expected her to do the same or more but nothing happened. She barely even moved. One of my sisters said we should only speak positively. That negative conversations will only make things worse. She doesn’t want to hear anything other than Momma is going to pull through. Guess what?! This is really difficult to do when you’re the person who has to make the final decisions in case she doesn’t pull through. And that person is me.

Yes, it hurts. It’s painful. It makes me want to scream. But I’m here. I’m making it. I’m going with the flow. God’s got me. Life…

I love you, Momma.♥️

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford
Asking for prayers.

This morning, I can say that I’m feeling much better physically than I was yesterday. However, mentally and emotionally, I’m about the same. So, here’s some of what’s going on.

Early yesterday morning, my mom was taken to the ER for being unresponsive. My brother, who lives with her, couldn’t wake her up or feel a pulse. Long story short- She’s now in ICU.

She’s still with us but remains unresponsive. She’s also on a ventilator and sedated. Everyone on her medical team keeps stressing that she’s, “very, very sick.” “Your mother is very, very sick.” Of course they told us what was wrong; however, it’s the way they’re all stressing the severity of what’s happening is what has made this ER visit and ICU stay different from the others.

For those who don’t know, my mom has paraplegia. She hasn’t been able to feel anything from her waist down since 1998. Well, over the years, she’s developed many more complications, and these last four years (2018 – now) have been the worse. She has had so many ER visits and hospital stays since then. Fortunately, things calmed down a bit during the height of the COVID pandemic. She did become very ill a few times but the doctors treated her at home.

Now, here we are. Unlike times before when I only contacted immediate family, or a few of her siblings, this time I have contacted her friends and extended family. As I said before, this time feels different.

My prayers have been whatever’s in God’s will, let it be; and let us, her children, be prepared to handle whatever comes – good or bad. Even though my mom is paralyzed, she’s always been independent and strong willed. So some of the decisions we may have to make are going to be very difficult.

At this moment I’m just praying she’s at peace and not in any pain. One of her biggest fears is being in a predicament like this and not being able to tell anyone she’s in pain or uncomfortable. So I’m praying that she’s completely comfortable. Also, praying that we get to see her smile and hear her laugh again, soon.

We love you, Momma.🙏🏽♥️

Please keep our mom and family in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford
Happy Birthday Momma!

Today’s Hello Sunday is dedicated to my second mom, my bonus mom, Jewelstine. Today’s her birthday!

Here’s our story:

We met when I was only a few weeks old. She was my first babysitter, first Girl Scout troop leader, and my first employer (let’s just say I was her little teacher’s assistant). She took me to my first movie (E.T.), my first theme park (Libertyland), roller skating rink (Rollerworld) and softball game (she was a softball coach for decades). She also gave birth to two of the kindest, giving, compassionate and hardworking people I know – my siblings – the late Alton Sutton, Jr. and my sunshine (which is what my sister calls me), Kisha. If I had to choose a bonus mom for my children, without hesitation, she would be it. She loves unconditionally and gives selflessly. I am so blessed to have her in my life and absolutely honored to call her Momma.

Happy Birthday Momma! Wishing you as much love as you give as well as many, many blessings. Love you always!

Shaun