Tag: reflections

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Today’s Hello Sunday is based on a random thought. Have you ever felt the need to explain your decisions or beliefs to others without being prompted? Not sure why I asked because I already know you have. All of us have. Like when you tell someone you can’t do something you follow it with “because xyz.” Or you make a decision (good or bad) and feel compelled to provide more details– “I’ve decided to do this because xyz.” Or you explain why you like or dislike something without being prompted– “Girl, I like/dislike xyz because…” Y’all, do we really need to explain ourselves? Are we doing it so that we’re perceived favorably, or so others feel more comfortable with what we do or say?

For me, it’s a little bit of both. When it’s something that directly affects other people, I often feel the need to provide more details because I want them to know there was thought behind my decision(s). On the other hand, I also find myself further explaining my own decisions to include my likes and dislikes, which only affect me. Umm… but why?

Y’all, I just had an “AHA” moment!

It’s the fear of being judged. That’s it! It’s that– “What are their thoughts of me now?” “Do they think I’m considerate or inconsiderate?” “Do they think I’m focused or weird?” I guess, at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how many details you or I provide, it’s about how the other person perceives or interprets the message. Period.

Well, problem solved! Only provide more information at your discretion, not because you feel you must.

Me unnecessarily providing more information after I’ve just written not to do so. UGH!! It’s after 5:00 a.m. my time and I’m so sleepy. You see, I fell asleep around 8:00 p.m. last night and woke up a little after midnight. So, I’m going to publish this blog and go to sleep. As always, thanks for reading my ramblings.

My life…

Enjoy your Sunday!

Shaun

Life

Me vs Twitter

Shaun Bradford

Yesterday I did something I’ve done many times before; however, this time was different. Yesterday morning I decided to log of Twitter, and I didn’t feel like I was being punished. Usually when I log off, I have to convince myself that it’s for my own good. Y’all, it’s never easy because I always feel like I’m losing my best friend or part of me. Pathetic, right? Well, yesterday I logged off without any regrets and it felt so good!

Oftentimes, I find myself wondering what life was like before social media. What were we doing? There was a time when I was so addicted to the games on Facebook (think this is where it began) that I was checking my farm (Farmville) and cafe (Café World) at work. I remember one of my colleagues asking if I remembered to check my food in my Café. Talk about crazy! Looking back, I couldn’t imagine myself living without my farm or cafe. Now they’re only memories.

Truthfully, besides the farm and cafe, I was never that attached to Facebook. I could log off for days and not feel like I was missing anything. But Twitter… Twitter is a-whole-nother story! I love Twitter because it’s fast-paced and so interactive. Talk about exhilarating! It’s a great place to discuss shared interests and get instant feedback. Now, this is where my problem resides– LIVE tweeting. (Y’all, I can’t even say “reside” without hearing “Where the money reside, where the money reside.” Lol) Listen, there’s nothing like LIVE tweeting during my favorite shows! It’s like being in a theater with a bunch of people who like talking during movies. As I said, very interactive. My problem, though, is I can’t seem to turn it off after the shows are over. I want to continue talking about them. Like… for days! I crave the interaction. I’m telling you, it’s addictive. I guess you can say the only good thing is, I like discussing fake drama not real drama. Real drama is a little too much. This is where Twitter becomes overwhelming and I’m forced to log off to maintain my sanity. Which was my reasoning for logging off yesterday.

With that said, yesterday evening I decided to log back on a little before my show, #TheOvalOnBET (just in case you want to tweet with us) came on. Was planning to log off afterwards but I stayed to tweet during my other show Ruthless (no hashtag for this one- y’all ain’t ready- LOL!). Afterwards, I happily logged off. I had gotten my fix and was out of there. Y’all, I’m really proud of myself because I didn’t think I could do it without feeling like I was losing something. Honestly, I’m good until my other show comes on. I guess you can say I’m reclaiming my life! Lol

By the way, two of my favorite shows were renewed for a third season– Tyler Perry’s The Oval and Sistas (#SistasOnBET). I’m so happy for Tyler and the cast! However, I’m even happier for me because I have something to tweet about for another year or so. Yep.. I’m smiling.

Shaun

Life

Happiness

Shaun Bradford

Wide awake so, you know how I do, I write.

Reposted a Facebook memory I shared back in 2018. It was a video of Will Smith talking about happiness and how he and Jada came to the understanding that another person cannot make you happy. Happiness has to come from within. As Will put it, another person can make you smile, laugh and feel good, but they cannot make you happy. And he was absolutely right. It took me years to realize true happiness was a mental state of being, not an emotion.

Growing up, I always believed happiness came from another person. I was always waiting for the day I’d find this guy who would make me happy. I mean, that’s what the women in books and movies always said, “He makes me happy.” What they were really saying was, “He makes me smile, laugh and feel good.” However, whenever the guy broke her heart she became sad and somewhat depressed, but… she always bounced back. So, what happens when the smiles and laughter ends, or your heart gets broken and you can’t seem to bounce back or function?

My ex used to always say he wasn’t happy. So I would try to do things to make him happy. Eventually I said the same thing Will said to Jada, and this was years before Will posted his video. I explained that I could not make him happy, nor was it my job to keep trying. Believe me, it was exhausting. Thanks to the awesome advice I received from my therapist in my early 20s, I knew happiness came from within.

Side note: I need to take a moment and thank my younger self for seeking therapy, especially in the early 90s when Black people were not into therapy. The best part was, my therapist was a Black female contracted through DOD working in Ramstein, GE. I had to add that because God’s strategy is just impeccable. Y’all, He knew long before I did that I would need to seek help and she needed to be the one who provided it. Whew!! So grateful for Ms. Elaine. Because of her, I made it through some crazy times. Listen, I’m still living off the advice she gave me almost 30 years ago.

Anyway.. I need to take a quick nap before I get my day started so I’ll end with this:

1) Please find happiness within yourself. Make yourself smile, laugh and feel good. Believe me, I’ve been on both sides and there’s nothing like being truly happy.

2) If you’re constantly feeling down and/or depressed, please seek therapy. Most of the time it’s not the other person not making you happy, it’s you.

3) However, if the person you’re with never makes you smile, laugh or feel good, you may need to rethink that relationship. Just saying. That’s just my opinion. Lol

As usual, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Enjoy your Tuesday.

Shaun

Life

It’s My Tweet Night

Shaun Bradford

It’s Wednesday, my tweet night! Y’all, I just love live tweeting during my shows. There’s nothing like reading people’s reactions to different scenes in real time, you know, before they actually have time to process what happened. Some people analyze scenes based on reality or cinematography, while others just watch for pure entertainment (that would be me!). Listen, I love the far-fetched storylines and scenes that seem to drive so many crazy. I guess it’s because they remind me of some of my crazy dreams. Baby, my dreams are very entertaining! Anyway, with that said, all of the storylines aren’t unbelievable, most depict real life situations. Believe me, some have evoked feelings and emotions I thought I had long buried. But don’t worry, I’m not writing about those today– they’re way too intense. I plan to keep this one light. Today’s blog is about one of my favorite characters on Tyler Perry’s Sistas.

Aaron is his name. The only reason I’m writing about Aaron is because, in my opinion, his character is the most genuine. However… so many don’t like him. Yes, he’s had a bit of a controversial past. I mean, his ex-wife committed suicide because he divorced her. I know, seems pretty dark, but there’s more to the story. At first, I thought he was a little harsh– hmm.. now I’m sounding like Andi describing Gary, who’s abusive and in Aaron’s anger management group…

Y’all know what, I’ll have to save this “think piece,” as my daughter would call it, for some other time. After having my “Andi” moment, I’m beginning to think I’m the one who’s delusional. Maybe Aaron isn’t the person I think he is. Who I want him to be. Have I been bamboozled? Am I only seeing what I want to see? Please say it ain’t so!!

I’ll write more about Aaron after I see a few more episodes. Fingers crossed that he really is the guy I think he is. We need at least one level-headed, genuine guy on the show who’s not afraid to be vulnerable or constantly trying to prove himself. I believe Preston and Maurice also fall into this category. I would say, “but they’re not my type.” However, I can’t do it without laughing because smart butt Maurice would come back with, “You not my type either!!” Lol!

Listen, if you’re looking for a good show to watch, check out #SistasOnBET. I would love your feedback about Aaron. Like, for real. One day I’m going to start dating again and he’s definitely my type. I want to make sure I’m not overlooking red flags. Help a sista out!

As always, thanks for reading!

Shaun

Life

Preparation, Protection & Promotion

Shaun Bradford
Be ready!

I really should be asleep, but since I’m awake I’ll write. Was having a crazy dream about the rock band KISS, rappers Kid n Play, and eating dry cornbread in some fancy hotel room. Woke up coughing and reaching for water. I bet I can’t find KISS, Kid n Play, or dry cornbread in one of those dream book. Y’all, even while asleep, I’m being entertained. Gotta love life!

Anyhoo.. Yesterday I came across a photo I had taken at a conference. It was a picture of one of the speakers’ slides which read, “Preparation. Protection. Promotion.” I remember the speaker saying these are the steps God takes us through each time we embark on something new. First, we’re prepped for it. Meaning, we go through all kinds of tests and trials until God believes we’re ready to move to the next phase- Protection.

God’s protection zone is usually uncomfortable because it’s where nothing appears to be happening. You’re still in the preparation phase but you think you’re ready to shine. You know, it’s where you keep saying, “God, I’m ready!” and He responds with, “Not yet.” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve gone through years of saying “I’m ready, Lord.” Only to hear Him say, “Be still. Not yet.” I’ve learned from experience that when He says to be still, I need to be still. It means I’m being protected. His method of protection reminds me of a parent protecting a child from touching something hot. The parent constantly tells the child not to touch the object because they’ll get burned. But once the parent turns their back, the child touches it. Lol. As I said, I’ve learned from experience to listen.

The protection phase isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s where you get to make mistakes and no one seems to notice. You get to try what works and what doesn’t work. I guess you can say it’s the “trial and error” phase of the journey. The only problem I’ve had with this phase is that, it some situations, it can become too comfortable. Sometimes it becomes so comfortable that when God says it’s go time, you refuse to move. You make excuses for not moving forward. As usual, I’m not just writing this for you; as I write, God is speaking to me, too.

So, once God says you’re ready– which, from my experience, is when you feel the least prepared– comes the promotion. Promotion is scary, yet exhilarating; especially if you like adventures! However, promotion comes with a cost. Promotion comes with more exposure. More vulnerability. More responsibilities. As Biggie said, “Mo money, mo problems.” However, as Fred Hammond said, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Y’all, I’m so grateful I have God in my corner. When the problems come, or I encounter situations that seem unbearable, He reminds me that I can handle anything that’s thrown my way because I’m His child. I’m royalty!

This year I’m walking into new adventures standing tall knowing that God’s with me every step of the way. Ready or not Shaun, it’s game time!

As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Now it’s time to go back to sleep.

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Short story:

Every morning, as soon as my great-great grandmother stepped foot out of bed, she would grab her huge white bible, flip to Psalm 23, and began reading– well, more like reciting– the entire chapter, aloud. Not a day went by that she didn’t do this. Y’all, I hate to admit this but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized this ritual set her mood for the day. That one chapter had her smiling, humming and singing all day long. Well… let’s just say that I choose to believe that’s what had her humming and smiling all day long.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided I wanted to be like her and establish my own morning ritual by reading a chapter from the book of Psalms. However, I wanted my own chapter because, thanks to her, I already knew Psalm 23 by heart. Plus that was her chapter. Well, I’m not sure how or why I chose Psalm 113; however, once I read it I knew it was for me. Just for me. Here’s a snippet of what gets me going each morning.

Psalm 113:1-3 NIV

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. Psalm 113:1

Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. Psalm 113:2

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3

As I said, this is just a snippet. There are six more verses in the chapter. I don’t know about you but the first three verses have me smiling already. Y’all, there’s just nothing like starting a day with praise.

I love, y’all! Have a blessed week!

Shaun