I’m just going to jump right in. A few days ago, after reviewing several pictures I had taken with a guest speaker at an event, I began criticizing my appearance. Y’all, it was like I couldn’t stop.
Transparent Moment:
I rarely take full body pictures because 1) I do not know how to pose (y’all my poses are terrible 😂) and 2) I’m not comfortable with my weight. So after taking the pictures the guest speaker, I began to openly critique every photo – I looked too fat, too short, the camera wasn’t positioned right, needed a better camera (HA.. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with mine). Y’all, I was on a roll. Couldn’t stop myself. The criticism was flowing like running water. Sadly, it wasn’t until I got in the car that I realized what I had done. Ouch! Up until that moment, I never realized how much I criticized myself. And to do it in public was completely embarrassing! It’s one thing to do it at home (which is still wrong) and another to do it in public. As I sat in my car tearing up, I promised myself that I would never criticize myself in public again. I can only imagine the impression I left. Sigh
Here’s a full body picture from another day. I’m learning that the only way I can fully embrace myself, as well as become more confident, is to stop hiding what I consider flaws and imperfections. And the negative self talk has to go, TODAY! How can I promote self-love if I’m not truly embracing all of me?
For me, there’s something so cathartic about releasing issues into the atmosphere. Once out, I imagine the words braking into fragments until they become tiny particles floating awayinto the universe. Release & Breathe
Thank you for reading! Praying you have a wonderful week.
In a few months I’ll be 49. Y’all, so much has happened during this decade. I lost myself, found myself, then discovered what I thought I wanted for decades wasn’t really what I wanted. Yeah.. I’ll be 49 this year and I’m starting over – new dreams, new goals, new relationships. ~ Shaun
From volunteering to serve on a conference committee in the summer of 2020 – to connecting with the committee leader, Dawn Lieck – to saying “Yes” when asked to write a chapter in the Finally Free anthology – to the book launch and self promotion – to where I am today – it was all orchestrated by God long ago. Long before I began blogging. Long before I wrote my first journal entry. Y’all, God already had a plan. Isn’t He amazing!
A few days ago, I was searching though old jump drives for a picture and found one of my “progress” videos (I create videos to document my goals and progress). Well, this particular video was missing from the group of videos I have created and saved over the years. It was dated November 24, 2014 – wasn’t my first video but somehow it never made it to the folder with the rest. In this video, I talk about writing a book someday. Honestly, I don’t even remember ever thinking about actually writing a book. I know over the years people have told me that I should write a book, but in this video I said I would. Wow!
Lately, everyone’s been talking about manifesting their dreams. Well, I guess I have been manifesting mine all along. All while I have been watching God work in others’ lives and celebrating their successes, He’s been working in mine. Yes.. I’m tearing up. Y’all, I’m so humbled and grateful for everything God has done in my life and is currently doing. Most of the time it seems like life is just drifting by, but when I look back I realize so many wonderful things have happened and even more is happening. Y’all, I really do love life!
Before I end, I wanted to share my Facebook post from a year ago – January 21, 2021:
Sooooo grateful for Hootsuite and WONDERFUL family and friends! I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch. Today of ALL days, I’m super busy. Thank you all for the support and making this day so special!! Digital copies are available TODAY ONLY for $1.99 through Amazon. (See link in original post.) If you would like an autographed copy, you can purchase it through my website- LaShaundreaB.com.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SHARES!!!🥰😭❤️
Y’all, I’m still not sure where this new chapter of life is taking me. At times it feels a little overwhelming because the ideas keep coming. Thankfully, I’m finally learning how to manage and prioritize them, but it’s still a lot.
The book experience gave me a glimpse of what true freedom looked like and what I was capable of doing. Now that I am finally free, I can’t go back to the way things used to be. Nope, I just can’t. Right now.. as I type.. I know God is writing. Yes, He’s either writing or editing my story. Smiling because I know God already knows I’m not going to stick to the script. Lol. I’m pretty sure He’s written several different versions to get me where I need to be. Y’all, I can’t wait to see how it all plays out. Again, I really do love life!
Anyhoo.. thanks for reading. Wishing you a wonderful Friday and fabulous weekend!
Obedience. The definition of obedience is – an act or instance of obeying (following the command or guidance of).
As many of you know, I have been on this journey of completely allowing God to lead; to follow his guidance without wavering. Well.. just imagine how that’s going. Sigh
So, there is this little thing called free will, which is the ability to act at one’s discretion. Well, I’m finding free will isn’t always my friend. During this journey, free will has popped up numerous times and continues to pop up whenever – 1) I don’t believe God is moving fast enough or He’s moving way too fast; 2) I believe things are going in the wrong direction; or 3) whenever I flat out don’t want to follow His instruction. Y’all, sometimes free will is a pain and often delays blessings. Ugh!
Last night I was given specific instructions to leave a certain matter alone, to allow God to work so that I could see His glory. Y’all know I love watching God work! Well, that didn’t happen. I kept picking at it. Checking to see if progress was being made. Kind of like putting a bandage on a wound and removing it every couple of hours to see if it’s healing. Uhh.. It won’t if you don’t leave it alone. So, this morning I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t leave things alone. I went in and started manipulating things. I was like, “God, I’m just gonna do this one little thing then give it back to You.” And that’s exactly what I did. And guess what, I feel like I have failed another challenge. Not in a shameful way, but in a way that has me regretting my decision. However, at the same time, I still have the desire to do better. I just have to know how things will turn out if I allow God to lead.
Okay.. y’all, I just had another “Aha” moment. Imagine going into a lab, starting an experiment and when the experiment isn’t moving along fast enough, you decide to manipulate the process. Guess what?! You just altered the outcome. You will never know what could’ve been had you left it alone.
Slowly but surely, I’m learning. If I am going to allow God to lead, I must be obedient. Period.
Thanks for reading! Hope you have a lovely Wednesday!
Manifestation: the act, process or instance of manifesting (to make evident or certain by showing or displaying)
Manifestation. Have you ever thought or spoken (written or verbally) something into existence? If you have, then you know it’s like one of the most thrilling experiences ever (even the negative ones). To be able to see what you put into the universe manifested, is pretty amazing.
Yesterday, director, Matthew A. Cherry, took a picture in front of a billboard with his tweet from June 2012 stating, “I’m gonna be nominated for an Oscar one day. Already claiming it.” Well, in February 2020, he actually won an Oscar for the animated short, Hair Love.It actually happened, to include a little extra (the Oscar)! YAY!!
As a young child, I only heard about the negative side of manifestation. My mom always warned us to be cautious of the things we said because they could come true. She had witnessed it and gave examples. I don’t know about my other siblings, but after hearing her stories, I was always mindful of what I said, especially when I became upset.
Well, as I got older, I began to notice positive things could happen.. or I should say, I became more aware that I could actually think, write or speak things into existence. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true. The kicker is – 1) nothing ever happened as imagined; 2) nothing was ever intentional (always a random thought); and 3) I never saw it coming. There are tons of examples I could give but I’ll only give a few (smile).
The very first major moment I can recall is getting orders to be stationed in Germany. I remember as clear as day sitting in the park writing in my journal asking God to take me far away from home. I was sad and depressed and just wanted to get away. If you have been following me for a while, you know I am very random and spontaneous. Well, one morning I woke up, took out a phone book, found an Air Force recruiter, scheduled an appointment and the rest is history. Nothing was planned. Nothing was contemplated. Just done. Well, during basic training, I was asked to select up to five bases where I preferred to be stationed (my dream list). Although I said I wanted to get away from home, I chose stations that were within a 5-8 hour radius. You know, wanted to be close enough to travel home often but far enough away so that no one could just pop up unannounced.
That was what I wanted. But the joke was on me. Y’all, God really does have a sense of humor and WILL give you what you ask for. When I got my orders, I was asked if I wanted to go to the United Kingdom or Germany. Y’all, I was devastated! I wanted to get away but never wanted to go that far. Since I had taken years of French in high school, I chose Germany because it was close to France. Two weeks after I left basic training, I was in Germany. This all happened – from me writing it down to arriving in Germany – in less than 6 months. That was my first major moment of manifestation.
A few other big moments were – me saying I was going to have my first child at 21, and did; saying that I was going to get married before I was thirty and have my 2nd child at thirty (got married at 29 and had my son at 30); also writing a list of names of people I really wanted to meet and meeting the top two – Marcus Samuelsson and Leah Chase at the same event three months after I wrote it down. There are so many more moments I have experienced that have been just as exciting and rewarding. Maybe one day I’ll share them in a book. Of course it will happen spontaneously. Smile
Y’all, my life is very interesting. To be honest, it seems like the things I randomly think, speak or write actually happens, and the things I’m intentional about speaking or writing rarely happens. I’m not sure why, but that’s how things happen for me. Honestly, my most rewarding experiences have happened after I have randomly thought, spoken or written about them, and have always happened unexpectedly. And y’all, I love it!
I am not sure what will happen next. Can’t even remember if I have thought, written or spoken about anything in a while. Right now I’m just living, being present. Hmm… an “Aha” moment. I am already living in my manifestation. Wow! It is nothing like I imagined, but I am here.. in it! Guess I needed to write it all out to see it. Can’t say it enough, God is so good!
Thank you for reading and please enjoy your Sunday!
Happy Hump Day! It’s Wednesday again. The second Wednesday of the year, to be exact.
Feeling some kind of way this morning because I am not really feeling anything at all. I don’t feel happy, sad, excited, mad, nothing. As my son would say, “Meh.” Not sure if that’s a feeling but that is exactly where I am.
Usually, by this time of the year, I have created a vision board, made a “progress” video (I make short progression videos at least twice a year where I talk about my goals and things I have accomplished- believe I only made one last year) and have written at least ten journal entries by now. Well, I have not done any of it. So far I only have three journal entries for this year. I know, I blog and make social media posts, but it’s not the same. Five years from now, I need to be able to find out what I was doing on a particular date and without it documented, I will never know. Maybe it’s not as important as I am making it out to be. Maybe I just woke up in my feelings, or with the lack of feelings. Nah.. I’m definitely feeling but unfortunately I don’t have a name for it.
This morning, while going through my Facebook memories, I found this gem, which is more than 30 years old. I shared on Facebook in 2016 with the following caption:
My 12th grade English teacher gave me this 20+ years ago. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me today. 💗
My Inspiration
Everyone in our class received cards from Ms. Tressin, but mine was special. Looking back, she saw something in me that I thought was hidden from the world. She knew I was a dreamer.
Maybe that’s what I am feeling this morning. I have imagined it. I have dreamed it. And yet, here I am thirty years later still chasing the dream. Or am I? Y’all, I believe I am having an “Aha” moment.
So… transparent moment… if you have been following me since last April, you know that I resigned from my job in pursuit of fulfilling my dreams. Well, over the months I have felt like a boat without an anchor, being tossed all over the place. When I resigned, I had no plan, no real direction about where I wanted to go. All I knew is, I was free! Hadn’t felt that free since I was in high school. I felt like I had the opportunity to begin again. However, I had too many years of education, degrees, and experience to just throw it all away. Plus everyone kept making suggestions about where I should be or could be heading. So, I felt compelled to continue along that path. Exactly like a high school senior! Wow!! Well, to be honest, every time I attempt to do it, I feel trapped. I know what to do to make it work. I have done it for years, but it is not where my heart lies. So far I have wasted money on trying to pursue things that would make me money but my heart has not been in anything I have done. Yeah.. it all sounded good but my heart kept screaming “NO!”
Here’s what I truly want at this moment in time, and what I wanted when I resigned. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with my children. Right now I have no desire to pursue a career and be a mom. I just want to be a mom, create memories, share inspirational thoughts and spread love, kindness and hope throughout the world. Sounds pretty flower-childish, doesn’t it? Lol! But that’s what I want to do! And guess what?! It’s exactly what I have been blessed to do. I am living off of less than I have ever made and I’m okay. Question is, shouldn’t I want more?
Maybe I’m thinking too much this morning. This probably should have been a journal entry. Lol. But here it is, my first random rambling of the year. Not going to delete any of it. Just gonna publish and keep going. Everything will work out.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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