Listen!! Let me brag on my fav, Mr. Tyler Perry!! Gotta give him his roses!🌹
I have watched every movie, show, and play he’s created (yes…I’m a fan—Lol), but this last movie, STRAW, has to be one of my favorite movies yet! I love his other movies, but this one pulled at my heartstrings. Whew! Y’all know I love my babies, and this one was about a mother’s love for her daughter. Didn’t know I would cry as much as I did. I felt Janiyah’s (Taraji P. Henson—the mother and main character) pain. It was the pain of a mother not being able to properly provide for her baby. It’s a pain I know all too well. Not only personally, but also from watching my mom struggle when we were kids.
And, that ending!
Whew!!!
Y’all, I lost it at the end!
Phenomenal acting by Taraji P. Henson, Sherri Shepherd, and Teyana Taylor. They did their thing!! Queens!
And while watching Straw, I was also watching clips from the red carpet premiere of his new BET+ series that’s coming out next week, “Divorced Sistas.” Y’all already know I’m watching it!!
Listen, besides watching God work, I absolutely love watching Tyler Perry work. Y’all, he’s making dreams come true. To me, it’s his way of giving back, and I’m here for it!
I guess I’ll go to sleep now, but honestly, I’m too hyped to go to sleep.
For as far back as I can remember, my mom had always wanted to be a published author, and four years ago, her dream came true.
I remember the day of the Facebook memories below. My mom was so nervous and excited. I told her to make the initial post, and I’d share it. Y’all, she received so much love that day!🥰
Here are a couple of my shares.
I miss my mom. I’m so grateful I captured this moment on the first of June. Thank You, God, for knowing I would need this memory for future June firsts. I’m blessed.🥰
That was the name of my mom’s monthly newsletter. She used to send them to friends and family in the early 2000s. After she died, that was one of the things her friends remembered about her. Here’s a copy. She would’ve been a great blogger.💗
The Encourager (April 2003) written by Dorothy Bradford
“No matter what we suffer or have lack of, when we learn to put God first, to love Him, and to recognize His voice and obey, we have assurance that all things are working to our good.”
What a word! A word that she lived by.
This is a short week! I pray you have a beautiful day. May God make you feel extra special today. You deserve it!♥️
I was scrolling through my photos and came across pictures from my daughter’s graduation from undergrad school. She was just a baby. Now she’s grown, grown. I am so proud of the woman she’s become.🥰
I didn’t get any good pictures with her, but I’m glad everyone else did.
I would advise my teenage self to extend grace to my mother. Understand that although she is a mother, she’s human, too. She wants to be loved, respected, and appreciated, just like you. She’s had her heart broken more times than you know, but she always manages to recover—at least outwardly. You will later learn the toll it took on her mentally, emotionally, and physically. Give her hugs. Tell her you love her. Buy her little gifts. Write her notes. Love on her because one day, she’ll be gone, and you will wish that you had done all those things throughout your relationship, not just the last few months of her life.
This post has been in my drafts since January 8, 2022. I wrote it for another blog, but can’t locate the link. Glad I saved it here. This was my mother.
Title: Momma, I See You
I was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother. Yep.. three generations of teen moms. My mother was 14 years old when she became pregnant with me and 15 when she gave birth. What’s ironic is my grandmother was also pregnant. Not only was she about to birth her eighth child at 30, but she was also about to become a first time grandmother. Can you imagine being 30 years old with eight children and your first grandchild on the way? Oh… and my great grandmother, my grandmother’s mom, had 12 children at the time and she was only 43. Y’all, I’m 47 with two children. Had my first child at 21 and my second at 30. Just thinking about what it must have felt like being a teenage mother is unimaginable, let alone having multiple children and grandchildren by the age of 30.
Well, a few years ago, during one of my mom’s frequent visits to the emergency room, I thought about what it must have felt like to be responsible for another life at such a young age. When I arrived at the hospital, she was in so much pain. Every time the nurses touched her she moaned. I wanted to help but couldn’t. Finally the doctor gave her something to ease the pain and she fell asleep. I didn’t leave. I just sat there watching her sleep. Honestly, it was like watching a stranger. The person I saw lying there wasn’t the loud, strong, opinionated woman I knew. This woman was vulnerable, tired, and broken. That’s when it hit me that she was so much more than my mother, she was a woman.
While sitting there, I began reminiscing about my childhood and the sacrifices she had made for me and my five siblings. She always made sure our needs were met even if she had to go without. When I was a baby, she worked in the cotton fields to buy me clothes and pampers. She married a man twice her age, and endured abuse, so that she could support me. By the time she divorced him two years later, she had another little girl to support. Although she had two toddlers, she graduated from high school early and enrolled in college. At 18 she was walking the campus of Jackson State University with two in tow. I still remember attending night classes with her when she couldn’t find a babysitter. During that time she was always learning something new as well as introducing us to new things. For me, that was the most exciting time of my childhood. Also, she was no stranger to hard work. Throughout my childhood, I don’t ever remember hearing her complain about taking on second jobs or not being able to take off for vacations. She did what she had to do to provide for her family. I remember how one year she walked miles to work in the snow, while pregnant with one of my younger sisters. One day she slipped and fell and still went to work. That’s how dedicated and selfless she was. Although she experienced heartaches, disappointments, and abuse, we rarely saw her cry. She was the rock of the family.
Needless to say, by the time I left the hospital I was a changed woman. I saw my mom through a different lens. Not only her but my grandmother and great grandmother as well. I often wonder what kind of sacrifices and compromises did they have to make to ensure their children had everything they needed.
Listen, like most mother-daughter relationships, my mother and I have had our ups and downs. However, it wasn’t until I put myself in her shoes that I was able to better understand some of her experiences and decisions. I will admit that the woman she was throughout my childhood made me the woman I am today, and for that, I’m grateful.
The months I spent with her before she passed were a blessing I didn’t know I needed. I needed that time with her. Even though it was like caring for a child at times, I still knew I was hers. So many times I wanted to climb up in the hospital bed with her.
My momma…
She made us take pictures that day (June 1997). She just had to have a family photo even though we weren’t dressed for one.😅We were so unserious. But it was her day, and there was no way we weren’t going to comply. She was still Momma! We also took pictures with my grandma (her mom). About a couple of weeks later, my grandma suddenly died. The following year, my mom became paralyzed from the waist down.
Life can change in the blink of an eye. Make sure you cherish every moment with those you love.♥️
Listen, the tears are flowing! I was just texting with my daughter about her plans for her birthday and she mentioned that it was a milestone for me as well. Y’all, the fact that she recognizes her 30th birthday as a milestone for me means a lot. It makes my heart smile. She doesn’t have to keep reminding me to celebrate myself as well, but she does.
I remember when I first felt her move. At that moment, I was committed to becoming the best mom that baby could possibly have. Now, don’t think I was a laid-back, “do whatever you want to do” kind of mom. No, I was, and always have been, a real momma. She had rules to follow, and I never allowed any disrespect. However, I allowed her to be who God created her to be. I gave her room to express herself (believe me, she has never been one not to express her opinions), and I tried my best to make sure she could do whatever she aspired to do. Of course, we didn’t always agree on everything and still don’t (smile), but that doesn’t make me love her any less. I actually believe I love her even more because she’s who she is and has never tried to be like anyone else. I love watching her move through life. It’s so beautiful to watch. Y’all, I can’t believe I am so blessed.🥰
Be sure to give people their roses while they are still here. Let them know they are loved and appreciated.
Before my mom passed, my siblings and I gave her her roses, especially during her last few months of life. During that time, we were intentional about letting her know she was so very loved and appreciated. Y’all, there was no way we were going to let her leave this world wondering. Now, don’t get me wrong, we loved on her before then, but it was nothing like those last few months. Everything was different. Maybe because she was different. It was almost as if it had finally resonated with her that she was actually loved and appreciated. Imagine going through life never truly knowing if you were loved or appreciated. Hmmm… Another topic for another day.
Well, unlike Momma, I don’t have to wonder. I know my two love me. I feel it through their actions. Not through receiving material things like physical roses or gifts, but through their affection and words of appreciation, affirmation and gratitude. Yes, I am one loved mother. Smiling
Not only am I grateful for my roses from them, but also from others. I am so grateful for those who pour into me and let me know that I am appreciated and loved. I receive, accept, and appreciate my roses.
Hmmm… Maybe that’s the key. Roses must be accepted after received. Again, another topic for another day because I haven’t always accepted my roses, either.
Anyhoo… If you are reading this, please accept your roses. Please know that you are truly appreciated and loved. Thank you so much for taking time from your day to drop in and visit my world. In Tupac’s words, you are appreciated. Sending you virtual hugs. Praying God blesses you many, many times over. Love you!♥️
Today is the first anniversary of my mom’s passing. I still remember her screaming “Hallelujah” over and over again before she had her last seizure—which was the day before she officially passed. I honestly believe she left us at that moment. However, we waited for her to recover as she had done before, but she never did. She was in a coma.
I mean, we knew she was passing. We weren’t naive. For months her appetite had been slowly decreasing. Her blood levels were steadily declining. Almost every other week she was getting a transfusion. Her stage 4 wound wasn’t healing and she had become septic…again…as she had become every couple of weeks. Yes, we knew she was dying but we just wanted her to look at us one more time. We kept trying to wake her up by singing her favorite songs, talking to her about her favorite shows and meals, washing her face, everything. But nothing worked. No eye movement. No sign of irritation whenever they came in to change the dressing on her wound. Nothing. The only signs of life were the numbers on the monitor that were gradually dropping.
On the morning of her passing, the doctor told us it was time for us to make the final decision. The oxygen and blood pressure medicine were the only things keeping her alive for us. Basically, she was already gone. They had tried taking her off several times before and her oxygen and blood pressure levels plummeted. Because she was a DNR, they wanted to make sure we were ready for what was to come before disconnecting everything.
After they removed the oxygen and IVs, we waited for something dramatic to happen. Thought she would immediately go into cardiac arrest. According to several nurses, the end wasn’t always pleasant. But nothing happened. The nurses asked if we wanted them to give her some pain medicine and we declined. She had been in severe pain for years and that was the first time we had seen her at complete peace. They told us to let them know if she became uncomfortable or began to moan and they would give her something. Again, nothing happened. She just appeared to be asleep. Which is how she said she wanted to die. She told us she had prayed and asked God to let her die in her sleep. And she did.
From around 2 PM until a little after 9 PM, we sat with her as her numbers slowly decreased. We took turns holding her hands and rubbing her forehead until they became cold and grayish. We didn’t immediately call the nurse in after we knew she was gone. We just sat there in silence.
Our momma…
Dorothy Ree, we miss you!
Didn’t realize it last year, but on this day 10 years ago (May 9, 2014), we were preparing for Momma’s graduation. On May 10, 2014, after numerous attempts (started in 1976) she finally received her bachelor’s degree.
We have all been dreading this day. Been grieving for a whole year. Some days have been better than others. For me, last night was really rough. The tears just kept flowing, as they are now. I’m not bawling but the tears just seem to be flowing from nowhere.
Think I will end here. I may or may not share a second post today, or I might share several. I’m just going to go with the flow.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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