Life

Hello Sunday!

A little late with writing today, but all is well. I actually slept a good 6-7 hours. Which has not happened in ages. Guess I wore myself out cleaning out storage bins. Y’all, I am an organized mess. Lol! The bins look nice and neat until you lift the lids. They are filled with items from my military career, undergrad and grad school, bills, letters, pictures, magazines, books, movies, etc. When I say I keep everything, I keep EVERYTHING! Ugh!! I rarely throw anything away. Which is funny because I found a letter from one of my sisters that was written in 2001. She sent me a picture of my nephew and wrote, “I’m sending this to you because you keep everything.” Wow! That’s what I do.

I guess I should attempt to explain why I hold on to so many things. First of all, I shouldn’t refer to all of the items as “things,” but memorabilia. The majority of the items I don’t believe I’ll ever throw away. I have letters from friends and family dating back to 1980s. Last night I found cards my granddaddy sent me for holidays and birthdays. Something I will always cherish. These came from someone who spent his entire life trying to live up to his reputation of being this hard, cold individual. But later in life he would call just to say hello and tell me he loved me, and he would send cards. Then there’s my military memorabilia. I have uniforms, orders from different assignments, awards, evaluations. You name it, I probably have it. Will I part with them? Probably not. As I mentioned, I have work from undergraduate and graduate school. I worked too hard on some of those projects, I just can’t throw them away. My magazines! My magazines date back to the 90s. I have Jet, Essence, Ebony, Sister-2-Sister, Time, Legacy, Sports Illustrated, Beckett Sports, and a few others. I have local magazines. Newspaper articles of events or people I know. Honestly, I do not know what I’m going to do with all of these things. I told my kids that when I buy my forever home, I am going to have a room where I can display everything. I can see myself walking through the room with my grands (children, nieces, and nephews) telling them stories about all of the items. To me, that’s heaven.

Okay, as usual, I got a little off track. I also have pictures.. tons of pictures! I took pictures of everything!! I have pictures from high school. Pictures from basic training. Y’all, I was in there just snapping away. Lol. I have soooo many pictures. Right now I have over 17,000 images stored between my phone and cloud. I just can’t seem to bring myself to delete many of them. They are so much more than pictures. They’re memories! They represent times, places, and feelings. As a child, whenever I would visit family, all I wanted to do was look at old pictures and ask questions- “Who’s this?” “Where was this taken?” Those questions usually led to great stories. Now I have my own stories.

Anyhoo.. as you can see this Hello Sunday is very random. Just felt like sharing. I’m going to glance over it to make sure it somewhat makes sense, but I’m not going to do much editing. This is how I typed out my thoughts so I’m going to leave this as is. Authentically me.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Shaun

Life

Enjoying the Ride

Since I’m awake I might as well write. December 2020 is finally here. Y’all, we made to the end of the year!

A year ago I shared the attached quote on Facebook. The last sentence says, “And even if you lose, you just can’t lose.” Hmm…

Yesterday I was in a mood. A friend and I were texting about how we remember things versus how they actually happened. I told her that my journal entries always set me straight. I recall things one way, then go back and read journal entries from that period. Almost half of the time my recollections are not quite the way I remembered. Sometimes I was hurt far worse than I remembered, or loved much harder than I remembered. After texting her a few examples of what I thought happened versus what really happened, she said, “Don’t you wish you could go back with the knowledge you have now.” Well, that one statement put me in a mood. For hours all I could think about was why didn’t I do this or that. Why did things not happen for me? Y’all, I wasted hours thinking about things that happened over the last 20+ years. Talk about crazy! Unfortunately, I fell asleep feeling a little down. However, I woke up to several encouraging messages to include this memory.

Even though I looked back and thought about how I could have done things differently, it wasn’t meant to be. What was meant to be, is. I wanted more. My vision was higher and still is. I refused to settle. So yes, I suffered heartbreaks and what seemed like failures, but my story is not over. I only have one life and I refuse to settle for less than God’s absolute best. So am I losing? Nah.. I’m winning!

God is good. Enjoying the ride!

Shaun

Life

Respect Yourself: You are God’s Creation

Hey Shaun

Learn to see yourself as God sees you, His beautiful creation. What you consider flaws, He considers flawless. What you see as imperfections, He sees as perfect. Be mindful of how you treat yourself. What you say about yourself. When you disrespect yourself, you disrespect God.

Just something to ponder.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Blessed

Trust the timing of your life.
Trust your intuition.
Trust your journey.
– Author Unkown

I saw this quote on Facebook this morning. It reminded me of my life and my journey.

Trust the timing of your life…

Around the end of August I was invited to write a chapter in a book anthology. I said yes before I could talk myself out of it. I knew if I thought about it, even for a second, I would have said no. This year I promised myself that when opportunities presented themselves, opportunities that I knew I was capable of but afraid of doing, I would do them. I guess you can say I am finally seizing opportunities. Carpe diem!

Trust your intuition…

If it does not feel right, I am not going to do it. Period! My chapter is about my marriage and divorce. So far I have written several versions of the story. Some are more detailed than others. Right now, I am not sure which one to submit. Although it is my story, it also involves my ex-husband. I do not care how our relationship ended, and this is with any relationship, I refuse to publicly humiliate a person. We all have flaws and issues. Umm… Just thinking… this is probably the reason it took me over four years to get a divorce. I refused to be ugly. Ugh! Okay… enough about this.

Trust your journey…

Going with the flow and allowing God to lead. As we all have seen with 2020, life is so unpredictable. No matter what comes or goes, I must always remember that I am in God’s hands, and He is always in control. Whatever He has planned for my future is meant for my good. I will always be victorious!

Well, that’s all I have. Wishing you a fabulous Sunday! Remember to trust the timing of your life, trust your intuition, and trust your journey. God’s got you!

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

We matter!

Another week down. Moving on to the next. Last week was a bit much. It began with another shooting of a Black man by police officers. Another one! Just thinking about it is stressing me out again.

Last week I could barely concentrate for crying. I actually became physically ill. It was too much. I was mentally and emotionally worn. I kept asking myself– Why are we, Black people, still fighting for equality? To be seen as worthy? Why is it that our Black men are viewed as a threat at first sight? Why are we, Black women, “angry,” when do not feel like smiling, or are having a bad day, or just simply being? Why are little Black kids handcuffed for acting out? Why are we not loved? Why are we not valued? Why do we not matter?!!!

Last week, Doc Rivers, a former NBA player and now head coach of the Los Angeles clippers, voiced what we have all been feeling. Emotionally, he said, “It amazes me why we keep loving this country, and this country does not love us back.” I felt that. Just thinking about it now makes me want to SCREAM! Doc Rivers’ Interview.

We have been used, abused, and murdered. Yet, we still love our country. We have fought wars and given our lives for this country. Yet, we are seen as animals (usually monkeys), second class citizens, dirty, nasty, unworthy, illiterate, thieves… Believe me, I could go on and on! No matter what we accomplish, or how pleasantly nice we are, we are never good enough. We are never quite there.. Ha! Almost there.. but not there.

So for those still wondering why we are screaming, “Black lives matter!” it’s because, unfortunately, our lives do not matter!

Praying for a better week– a safe week– a week without tears (unless they are happy tears).

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

My Facebook Memory: August 11, 2019

Hello! Here is a Facebook memory that I thought I would share. It was written on August 11, 2019, after a year of being in the doctoral program. This past March I decided to take a leave of absence, again (details included in the memory). This time it was the uncertainty of COVID-19 that had me stressed. I just could not focus on school. So I decided to take a year off. As I did last time, I have questioned myself about my reasons for pursuing this degree. Is it something I truly want? Glad I have a few more months to decide. Then we shall see what happens.

Here’s the memory (unedited):

Good Morning! No social media find this morning. I just feel like sharing.

Today’s the last official day of class. It’s been a year that I’ve been in the DrPH program. I’m not sure why I thought it would be easy. I’m still puzzled about that initial phone interview with my advisor. I was just so chipper. Why???🙄 I work at a university. I’ve seem so many students struggle through their doctoral program. Yet, somehow I thought things would be different for me. What was wrong with me?😩

A few days ago I finally really looked at my degree plan. Yeah, I never really reviewed it. I just started taking classes and going with the flow. When I saw how many hours I had left, my heart sank. The thought crossed my mind, “Will I ever have a life?” Y’all, this program is about to consume ALL of my time. I’m not going to lie, so far I haven’t been disciplined at all. I started off really disciplined. Had everything scheduled down to my “Tyler Perry Tuesdays” tweet time. Yeah, one hour to watch and tweet during the show and 1/2 hour afterwards to reply to tweets. I was serious. Then, life happened. It’s amazing how one little thing can shake you and your whole system crumbles.

I began to realize I used social media as a way of coping with the things happening around me. Whenever I wanted to get away, I would log on and mindlessly scroll down my timeline. Social media is a great distractor when you don’t want to deal with reality. At the time, I was going through the divorce. Somehow, in my little mind, I thought it was going to be a piece of cake and it wasn’t. Also, things at work were becoming stressful. It was just a lot. Then, on top of that, I had school. I had to post and respond to discussions every week. Honestly, it was all taking a toll on me. I finally realized I couldn’t take anymore and sat out the spring term.

During my break, I did a lot of soul searching. Was this program for me? Could I fulfill my purpose without the degree? Was my purpose even worth the struggle? Why couldn’t I just let everything go and just enjoy life like everyone else? I mean, I’ve already retired from the military. I’m sort helping my community through my research projects. Why not sit back and enjoy life? Why do I always have to make things harder for myself? Well, because that’s exactly what I do. I love a challenge. Something inside of me, no matter how hard I try to fight it, wants the adventure. So, when my advisor called me before the summer term began, and asked me if I was returning to school, I confidently told him I was going to finish the program.🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

So, here I am. This time I’m really serious about being more disciplined. I’m trying to narrow down my use of social media to things that will help me along this journey. I’ve discovered that the Twitter accounts I follow on my ResearchDiva site reflect were I’m going (UN in Geneva☺️). I’ve been able to use some of the information I’ve come across for my discussions and assignments. My Mississippi Thriving IG makes me feel like I’m still supporting my community. My blog, It’s Shaun’s World, gives me an outlet for sharing my random thoughts. And this page… y’all make everything worth it. I love logging on and seeing your smiling faces. Y’all keep me grounded.

I know this was long. I needed to get it out. So, if I miss posting a few social media finds, or showing you love, it’s not because I don’t care, I’m just trying to stay focused.

I love y’all!

GodIsWorking

BeBlessed 🙏🏽♥️

Thanks for reading!

Shaun