Tag: relationships

Life

My Life

Shaun Bradford

No, it’s not Wednesday. Was reading through my Facebook memories for today and came across a response I wrote to an interview Ciara gave at Essence Carnival. As usual I’m getting emotional. Y’all, specific dates, times, and seasons in my life are so significant. This particular response I’m referring to, I wrote on April 27, 2019. However, as I scrolled through my memories, I saw where I had documented another significant moment, April 27, 2014. That was the day my ex said he wanted a divorce. Instead of me falling for his pity party and disregarding my feelings, as I had times before, I said okay. He immediately tried to retrieve his words but they had already been said. That was the day I knew for sure it was over. Well… 20 years before then, April 27, 1994, was the night I conceived my baby girl. Yes, I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just got back with her father. That night he told me he was going to give me what I always wanted, a baby. I laughed it off because that was the last thing I wanted. I had orders to Eglin AFB in Florida. Baby.. the last thing on my mind was a baby. HA! Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. My life…

Okay.. didn’t mean to get sidetracked but y’all know I do. Here’s what I originally attended to share. I guess you can say it’s somewhat related. It’s about life and the flow of things.

April 27, 2019:

“Wise words from Ciara. Whatever’s meant for you, is for YOU! Stay the course.

I’m going to add, whatever’s not for you, will pass you by. And you need to let it pass. Let it go. Believe me, you won’t have to rearrange your life for what’s meant for you. You won’t have to change who you are. Things will flow without being forced.

I can recall things that happened in my life- jobs, relationships, places I’ve been, other professional opportunities, etc. – that I forced to happen, and things that happened naturally. What wasn’t meant to be, caused more stress and anxiety, than happiness. The things that were supposed to happen, or meant to be, happened so smoothly. Things just fell into place. Everything was in order.

Here’s just one of many examples: (yeah, I feel like writing, do you feel like reading- lol)

When I received orders to Turkey, I thought my career was over. I had decided to turn down the orders if I couldn’t take my daughter. Well, I had just enough time left in the military to do an accompanied tour (2 years). I didn’t want to leave Florida. However, God had other plans. When I got to Turkey, I was given 30 days to find childcare, a designated person to accompany Ki back to the States if a war broke out, and find housing. When I say everything happened so effortlessly, believe me. Everything was in place. I’m getting emotional just thinking about how God worked it all out. The people He placed in my life, were placed there for a reason. I didn’t have to worry about anything. However, what I did have to do was- 1) have faith, 2) listen to God, and 3) act when He told me to. God is so good! He’s truly amazing!

Okay. That’s all. Just felt like sharing. Also, I spent forever writing all of this, I refuse to delete it now. It may or may not make sense.🤷🏽‍♀️😂”

As you can see, I’ve been trusting God forever. I’m sleepy. Going to hit “Publish” and go to sleep. Enjoy!

Good Night

Shaun

Life

Déjà Vu! Didn’t I Say This Yesterday?

Shaun Bradford

We’ve all had déjà vu moments at some point in our lives. It’s like you’re standing somewhere and for a split second you think, “I’ve been here before,” or “I’ve heard this before.” Well, this morning while scrolling through my Facebook memories I found a post I made on March 8, 2019. Y’all, it’s so similar to yesterday’s blog that it’s scary. Wow!! Just take a look at the screenshot. I guess I really needed this message, or perhaps someone else needed it so much so that I had to post it TWICE. Just, Wow!!

I actually said this 2 years ago! Speechless

I’m listening God!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Today’s Hello Sunday is based on a random thought. Have you ever felt the need to explain your decisions or beliefs to others without being prompted? Not sure why I asked because I already know you have. All of us have. Like when you tell someone you can’t do something you follow it with “because xyz.” Or you make a decision (good or bad) and feel compelled to provide more details– “I’ve decided to do this because xyz.” Or you explain why you like or dislike something without being prompted– “Girl, I like/dislike xyz because…” Y’all, do we really need to explain ourselves? Are we doing it so that we’re perceived favorably, or so others feel more comfortable with what we do or say?

For me, it’s a little bit of both. When it’s something that directly affects other people, I often feel the need to provide more details because I want them to know there was thought behind my decision(s). On the other hand, I also find myself further explaining my own decisions to include my likes and dislikes, which only affect me. Umm… but why?

Y’all, I just had an “AHA” moment!

It’s the fear of being judged. That’s it! It’s that– “What are their thoughts of me now?” “Do they think I’m considerate or inconsiderate?” “Do they think I’m focused or weird?” I guess, at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how many details you or I provide, it’s about how the other person perceives or interprets the message. Period.

Well, problem solved! Only provide more information at your discretion, not because you feel you must.

Me unnecessarily providing more information after I’ve just written not to do so. UGH!! It’s after 5:00 a.m. my time and I’m so sleepy. You see, I fell asleep around 8:00 p.m. last night and woke up a little after midnight. So, I’m going to publish this blog and go to sleep. As always, thanks for reading my ramblings.

My life…

Enjoy your Sunday!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford
Happy Valentine’s Day

Hello Sunday and Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s a little after 1:00 a.m. So since I’m up and it’s already Sunday, I may as well write.

Not going to write much. Unlike last year, I’m not in a “bah humbug” mood. You’ll have to read last year’s blog to understand– Valentine’s Day Blues. This year I’m in somewhat of a mellow mood. You know, today’s just another Sunday. So grateful to be alive and blessed.

To everyone celebrating Valentine’s Day, I wish you a fabulous day filled with unconditional love and unspeakable joy. I hope that you smile so long and hard your cheeks hurt. You deserve it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Shaun

Life

It’s My Tweet Night

Shaun Bradford

It’s Wednesday, my tweet night! Y’all, I just love live tweeting during my shows. There’s nothing like reading people’s reactions to different scenes in real time, you know, before they actually have time to process what happened. Some people analyze scenes based on reality or cinematography, while others just watch for pure entertainment (that would be me!). Listen, I love the far-fetched storylines and scenes that seem to drive so many crazy. I guess it’s because they remind me of some of my crazy dreams. Baby, my dreams are very entertaining! Anyway, with that said, all of the storylines aren’t unbelievable, most depict real life situations. Believe me, some have evoked feelings and emotions I thought I had long buried. But don’t worry, I’m not writing about those today– they’re way too intense. I plan to keep this one light. Today’s blog is about one of my favorite characters on Tyler Perry’s Sistas.

Aaron is his name. The only reason I’m writing about Aaron is because, in my opinion, his character is the most genuine. However… so many don’t like him. Yes, he’s had a bit of a controversial past. I mean, his ex-wife committed suicide because he divorced her. I know, seems pretty dark, but there’s more to the story. At first, I thought he was a little harsh– hmm.. now I’m sounding like Andi describing Gary, who’s abusive and in Aaron’s anger management group…

Y’all know what, I’ll have to save this “think piece,” as my daughter would call it, for some other time. After having my “Andi” moment, I’m beginning to think I’m the one who’s delusional. Maybe Aaron isn’t the person I think he is. Who I want him to be. Have I been bamboozled? Am I only seeing what I want to see? Please say it ain’t so!!

I’ll write more about Aaron after I see a few more episodes. Fingers crossed that he really is the guy I think he is. We need at least one level-headed, genuine guy on the show who’s not afraid to be vulnerable or constantly trying to prove himself. I believe Preston and Maurice also fall into this category. I would say, “but they’re not my type.” However, I can’t do it without laughing because smart butt Maurice would come back with, “You not my type either!!” Lol!

Listen, if you’re looking for a good show to watch, check out #SistasOnBET. I would love your feedback about Aaron. Like, for real. One day I’m going to start dating again and he’s definitely my type. I want to make sure I’m not overlooking red flags. Help a sista out!

As always, thanks for reading!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Gratitude

Appreciation

A simple “Thank you”

Last night I watched the movie, “Malcom and Marie,” which was a 2-hour dialogue between a couple who had just come home from an awards ceremony. Malcom had won an award for a movie he produced about a 20 year old model/aspiring actress who had overdosed on drugs. Marie.. well.. I don’t care how many ways Malcom tried to spin the story.. Marie was his inspiration behind the movie. I’m not going to give away too much of the movie. I want to give you a chance to watch it because, I don’t know about you, I hate spoilers. So, I’ll just leave you with this:

Most women are nurturers. When we love someone, we tend to put their needs and feelings before our own. From the macaroni scene, to stifling her feelings, until the end, Marie was that woman. But did Malcom notice? Do men notice? Like Marie, most of us suppress our feelings, smile and keep going like we’ve never been hurt or bothered. Is it right? Heck, no! But it’s what we do. It’s who we are. Like most women, Marie didn’t want to steal Malcom’s shine. She just wanted to feel appreciated.

Hmm… Wonder what would happen if we started putting ourselves first?

Women, nurturers, Queens, thank you for your selfless acts of love. For acts that go unnoticed. For the things you do that are second nature. Thank you for holding households together while trying to maintain your own sanity. Thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for loving hard even when it’s hard to love. Thank you for pressing forward through your tears. Thank you for being that rock. Thank you for the sacrifices you make so that others can excel. Thank you for being you. In my Tupac voice, “You are appreciated!”

Gratitude

Appreciation

A simple “Thank you”

Enjoy your Sunday!

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Short story:

Every morning, as soon as my great-great grandmother stepped foot out of bed, she would grab her huge white bible, flip to Psalm 23, and began reading– well, more like reciting– the entire chapter, aloud. Not a day went by that she didn’t do this. Y’all, I hate to admit this but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized this ritual set her mood for the day. That one chapter had her smiling, humming and singing all day long. Well… let’s just say that I choose to believe that’s what had her humming and smiling all day long.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided I wanted to be like her and establish my own morning ritual by reading a chapter from the book of Psalms. However, I wanted my own chapter because, thanks to her, I already knew Psalm 23 by heart. Plus that was her chapter. Well, I’m not sure how or why I chose Psalm 113; however, once I read it I knew it was for me. Just for me. Here’s a snippet of what gets me going each morning.

Psalm 113:1-3 NIV

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. Psalm 113:1

Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. Psalm 113:2

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3

As I said, this is just a snippet. There are six more verses in the chapter. I don’t know about you but the first three verses have me smiling already. Y’all, there’s just nothing like starting a day with praise.

I love, y’all! Have a blessed week!

Shaun

Life

Twenty-Six

Shaun Bradford

Smiling as I write because first of all, I’m actually a mother; and secondly, I’m a mother of a 26 year old queen. How? When? On most days, I still feel like I’m in my 20s.

So, around this time (6 a.m.) 26 years ago, I was trying to rest but couldn’t get comfortable. I was having contractions but they were only 7-10 minutes apart. The night before I had called my friend Sue, my unofficial birthing partner, to prepare her for what was next. Then, I called my other friend, Trina, who was the only one with a child and “experienced” in childbirth, to give her a heads up. Trina also lived across the street from the hospital so I had somewhere I could chill before checking into the hospital. I remember her saying not to have the baby until she got off work. Like I actually had control over when the baby would come. Y’all, we were so young and naive.

Well, around 2:00 p.m. my contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart. I’m just going to let y’all know, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing! I was following instructions I heard tv doctors give their pregnant patients, “Wait until the contractions are 2-3 minutes apart, then go to the hospital.” Y’all, I hadn’t called a doctor at all! The last time I called the doctor’s office was when I lost my mucus plug and that was days before. However, I did call Sue, who lived 30 minutes away in Ft. Walton Beach.

When she got to my house we grabbed my bag and headed… not to the hospital… but to Trina’s house. According to wonderful doctors like Heathcliff Huxtable, I needed to wait until the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. So I was going to wait. By the time I arrived at Trina’s, I was so hungry. Hadn’t eaten anything all day because I heard some women used the bathroom while giving birth and that was the LAST thing I wanted to do. You see, my obstetrician was FINE!! Whew!! He had muscles everywhere! The last thing I wanted to do was use the bathroom while giving birth. But y’all, I was so hungry. First, I ate a bowl of ramen noodles. Then, I ate a little bit of every sugar-sweetened cereal she had in the house. Honestly, I don’t believe I knew what I was doing. I was in pain. I was trying to wait for the right moment to go to the hospital. Y’all, I was scared. All I knew to do was eat.

Anyway, once the contractions became unbearable, I went to the hospital and checked into labor and delivery. When I got there, I attempted to explained to the nurse that I was in labor. I don’t know what was going on that day but I remember her snapping at me and saying if I wasn’t dilated 4 cm they were going to send me home. That’s all she said and left me standing there. I guess the people in the waiting room felt sorry for me because they were the ones who got me a wheelchair and talked to me until Sue came up (she was parking the car). Everything that happened afterwards happened really fast. When the nurse checked me, I was more than 4 cm dilated. That’s when she actually tried to help. In hindsight, I guess I didn’t appear to be in labor. Like that’s a real thing. Believe me, the contractions were coming and I was in so much pain. But the cramps I endured during my menstrual cycles were far worse. So I just did what I did whenever I cramped, I beared it. I never once screamed or got out of character. I just took it.

Less than 3 hours later my baby was born. And no, I didn’t use the bathroom while having her. Lol. Another crazy thing happened afterwards. Sue asked me if the nurses were playing some kind of joke (told you we were young). Our wristbands had another mother’s name on them. Y’all, we had on the wrong wristbands! Talk about CRAZY!! I’m so happy we got that cleared up or I would have brought home someone else’s baby.

So that was 26 years ago. Today, I’m happy to report that the last 26 years have been just as adventurous, if not more. I have truly enjoyed motherhood. It’s been an honor watching KiSondrea become the woman she is today. I pray that today, and everyday forward, is just as wonderful and adventurous as the day of her birth.

Happy Birthday, Ki! ❤️

Love Always– Mother

Happy 26th!!
Life

Lesson Learned

Shaun Bradford
Quote by Tony Gaskins, 2019

Found this quote in today’s Facebook memories from 2019. In the memory, I had written a long caption about how I had been reading journal entries from the 90s and discovered I hadn’t changed much. I noted that I had grown spiritually and professionally, and was also making better decisions. However, my personality, heart, and spirit hadn’t really changed. I questioned why I had not grown stronger in those areas, meaning, why hadn’t I changed? You see, those were the areas that made me feel inadequate around others. That made me feel vulnerable in certain situations. That made me love harder than I should have. You would think 30 years would’ve made a difference, but it hadn’t.

That was two years ago. Here I am today, same personality, heart, and spirit. At first I asked myself why these characteristics hadn’t changed. You see, over the years I have tried to change them. Tried not to be so sentimental or emotional. Tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Tried to fit in by being less silly and more poised. Yeah.. I tried to be everything I wasn’t, everything I’m not. Then it hit me, those aren’t weaknesses. Those are my strengths. They don’t need to be changed. They need to be embraced. The only reason I continue to feel vulnerable while embracing them is because I’m trying to get others to embrace them as well. I guess you can say I’m having an “AHA” moment. Maybe that’s the lesson Tony Gaskins was referring to. I will never be able to move to the next level as long as continue to remain in the presence of those who do not fully accept Shaun. Umm… I believe it’s time to re-evaluate my circle. What’s that old saying– “If it don’t fit, don’t force it.” I will no longer try to force myself to fit where I’m not embraced. Period!

Thanks for reading!

Shaun

Life

I Am A Campaigner

Shaun Bradford

A few days ago, my daughter insisted that I take the 16 Personalities test to find out my personality traits. I’ve taken similar tests before, however, I don’t remember them being so accurate. After I took my test, we coaxed my son into taking his. Y’all, we are so different and I love it!

Here’s the link to the test we took– 16Personalities.com. It’s very short (5 minutes or less) and provides feedback in the following areas: strengths & weaknesses, relationships, parenthood, career paths, and workplace habits. If you haven’t taken a personality quiz/test before, I recommend you do so. They’re fun, revealing, and worth taking. Enjoy!

Note: This is only one of many personality quizzes/tests available. I like this one because it’s very similar to the Myers-Briggs test but not as rigorous. Also, it’s free!

So accurate!