Life

My September 1st

I really don’t know where to begin. Yesterday, September 1, was surreal. I am still trying to process it all, but I really don’t want to. Last week I shared that my Aunt Beaulah had passed. Yesterday morning we learned of one of my mom’s younger stepbrothers passing. Then hours later, her aunt, my great aunt and late grandfather’s only sibling, passed. Marvin was in Georgia and Aunt Deloris was here in Mississippi. Neither were COVID related.

My Aunt Beaulah (dad’s sister) had been suffering for years. Over her adulthood she’d had multiple strokes and heart attacks. We always joked that she was like a cat with nine lives. However, this last time she did not bounce back. My dad had three sisters, two of which passed nearly forty years ago. So for years she had been his only baby sister. Up until last year, it was my dad, two uncles and Aunt Beaulah. Last summer my Uncle Sam passed. Now Aunt Beaulah is gone. There are only two of them left. My heart aches for my dad and Uncle Bob. Neither are in good health. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be the last ones standing. As I said, I am still trying to process it all.

My Aunt Deloris (mom’s aunt), who actually read my blogs, was my girl! Now she could tell a good story. The last time I visited her, I told her that I was going to record her stories about her childhood. I explained how I wanted to capture her voice as well as her story so that future generations would be able to hear her speak. My plan was to do it this weekend when I visited for my Aunt Beaulah’s burial. I guess you could say God already knew it would never happen the way I had planned. He knew I would not have time to do things “just right.” Last year, as we celebrated her 75th birthday, I recorded her reciting names from our family tree dating back to the late 1800s. Perhaps that was all I needed to record. I also took pictures of names and dates of births and deaths that were kept in a bible her mother handed down to her. She was all about family. She loved us and we loved her dearly. She will be missed.

Marvin, my mom’s little brother, one of my first playmates, will definitely be missed. Words cannot even describe how I am feeling about his death. He was only a few years older than me. No one knew this but Marvin was the first person I told about me contemplating my divorce. I needed to tell someone and that someone happened to be him. Although I did not ask him to keep it between us, he did. That was the kind of person he was – loyal, a true friend and confidant. I am forever grateful for the time we got to spend together. Earlier this summer, he was diagnosed with cancer, which had already progressed to stage 4. During my trip to Atlanta, we had planned to visit but opted for FaceTime instead. That was the last time I actually saw him. Our last text was almost two weeks ago. He will also be missed.

Y’all, I’m in a daze. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to cry. I feel like I’m tiptoeing around my own feelings trying not to reminisce too much. I was so excited about this new month of September. Said I wanted to do something different. Little did I know this month was going to start off like this. I am still optimistic that this will be a wonderful month full of opportunities and adventures even if I have to intentionally make them happen.

Y’all be blessed.

Shaun

Rest well, Aunt Deloris.
Rest well, Marvin.
Life

Perceptions

Perception – a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression

Question – If you perceive something to be true, is it actually true?

Social media has opened my eyes about the way we perceive things. Even when in agreement, we never truly understand the other person’s full perspective unless we ask, or they explain it in detail. Most of the time we assume that because we are in agreement, our perspectives are the same. When in reality, they are not.

Honestly, perceptions can be very deceptive. Especially when we attempt to interpret another person’s feelings or words. Have you ever wondered how someone perceived you based on your words, feelings or actions? Do you believe their perception would be accurate if they never spoke to or interacted with you? More than likely, not. So why do we assume our perceptions of others to be true?

My advice, if you really want to know how a person feels, or understand the meaning behind their words or messages, ASK. Also, people change over time. Just because they said something or felt a certain way a year ago, doesn’t mean they feel the same way today. Again, ASK.

As always, thanks for reading and enjoy the rest of your day!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Hello! Hello! Hello!! It’s almost 3:00 a.m. here in Hattiesburg. Since I am wide awake, I will go ahead and post today’s blog. This one is from another Facebook memory dated August 11, 2018. I read it and just had to share.

How many of us, no matter how far we have progressed in our mental and spiritual journey, are still struggling to heal from something no one knows about. That thing that knocks us to our knees from time to time. I refuse to believe I am the only one who experiences this.

A few weeks ago, my son asked if I ever had moments where I thought about something I did and instantly became embarrassed; something I was too embarrassed to share with someone else. I told him yes. That it happened more often than I liked. I went on to explain that most of the time whatever happened was so small, yet I couldn’t seem to get over it. That’s when I shared one of my moments with him, something I had never shared with anyone else. Honestly, I felt completely comfortable sharing it with him. I guess it’s because he is the only one who does not make me feel crazy or weird when I tell him things. Yes, he’s my gift. Grateful God placed him in my life.

Anyhoo… back to the Facebook memory. Here is what I shared three years ago.

August 11, 2018

I believe all of us can relate to this one. No matter how strong we are, or how much we’ve overcome, there’s always that one little thing we can’t seem to shake. Sending prayers and love!🙏🏽💕 #PrayAndWorship #GotsGotYou #YoureCovered

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a fantastic Wednesday!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Hello Everyone! Hope this blog finds you well. Thought I would open today’s blog with a proper greeting because you deserved to be greeted properly. Now, I am not going to promise this will happen often, however, it is happening today. Smile

For those of you who have been reading my blogs for a while, you know I constantly reference two things – trusting God and fulfilling my purpose. You would think by now I would have trusting God mastered. Well, to be completely honest, I don’t. I mean, my trust is getting stronger over time; however, I do slip up from time to time and try to do things on my own. This does not mean I do not have faith that God will do what He’s said. It means sometimes I think He could use a little help with hurrying things along. Now, I know I cannot be the only one who does this. Anyhoo.. today I would like to share a Facebook memory from 2018. The “social media” find I am referring to in my post is the following quote from Bruce Van Horn.

Focus more on WHY you want your dreams to come true rather than how to make them come true. The “HOWS” happen in miraculous ways!

Bruce Van Horn

Facebook Memory: August 8, 2018

Today’s social media find. I’ve found this to be true. The more I focus on why I want my dreams to come true, the more things fall into place. When I focus on the “hows,” I tend to worry and become anxious. I’m learning more and more to let go and let God handle the “hows.”

Two Questions: Why do you want your dreams to come true? What’s your purpose?

As I mentioned earlier, I am getting better with trusting God – that is, completely trusting God to handle everything, or the “HOWS”. The newest task that has been added to this journey is expectation. Basically, expecting to receive God’s blessings (during the how moments) while staying focused on my dream, or my purpose. Yeah.. it’s pretty complicated. My problem has been going from trust to expectation without becoming anxious because I do not see anything happening. I know it’s going to happen because He said it would. But.. WHEN?! HOW?! Now, THAT is a discussion for another blog! Lol. One day I will share my testimonies. Believe me, there are many. Y’all, God is constantly blowing my mind! Smile

Well, that’s all I have for you today. Have a blessed week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Love

Two years ago I shared a post with the caption, “Love.” That was it. One word. Love.

The definition of love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

That year I experienced a whirlwind of emotions. Too many highs and lows to name. Honestly, I am not sure why I shared the word, Love. Wish I could remember what I was thinking when I shared it. I’m pretty sure I was on some emotional high. I was probably feeling good. Feeling all loved and felt like spreading love.

Ha! Little did I know, two months later, I would need that love I was spreading so freely. I had no idea my life was about to change, but I could feel it. Something in the atmosphere felt weird. My emotions were all over the place. Little did I know, when I wished my brother a happy birthday on October 5, 2019, I was about to experience the blow of a lifetime. A few days after his birthday he was admitted to ICU.

Love.

I do not believe you truly understand love until you have lost someone you truly loved.

Love,

Shaun