About a week and a half ago, I decided to log off all of my social media accounts to include not blogging. I needed to concentrate on a few things and the noise was a bit much. Now that I’ve been off for a while I’m not sure when, or if, I’ll return. I’m not referring to blogging because I still love to write (been journalling several times a day). I’m referring to my other accounts, particularly Twitter and Facebook. They tend to give me anxiety. Always too much going on. With that said, there are aspects I do miss. I miss tweeting during my shows, saying “Good Morning” to the sisters in the Facebook group, We Are Sistas, and keeping in touch with close family and friends. The other stuff, I don’t miss it at all. It was just a bunch of noise. If I don’t see it on the morning shows, nightly news, or hear about it on the radio, I’ll live. As I said, it was just too much. If I do return, things are going to be different.
How I’m feeling. Life is good.
Listen, once you find peace it’s hard to go back to chaos. Just saying. Enjoy your weekend and I’ll see y’all on Sunday!
Today’s blog was pretty easy to write because I wrote it two years ago, May 5, 2019. Y’all, I can’t say it enough, I absolutely love Facebook memories! As I’ve mentioned in several blogs this year, 2019 was a pivotal time in my life. Didn’t realize how much so until I started paying attention to the number of Facebook posts I made that year. Well, around this time two years ago, I had finally let go of being angry at my ex for not signing the divorce papers and had decided I was going to live as a free woman despite his signature. Guess what– By the end of that month, he had signed the papers. I was actually a free woman! Go figure, all I had to do was let go.
Well, while I was trying to get a grip on being free again, I was also struggling with insecurities. I can’t lie, from time to time I still do, but nothing like back then. Now I find myself struggling to embrace “chubby” Shaun… okay… overweight Shaun (hey, I’m a registered dietitian nutritionist- I have to call it like it is) while continuing to move forward. As the fabulous motivational speaker Lisa Nichols said, she didn’t let her weight stop her from being great. And I can’t allow mine to stop me from doing the same.
Here’s my post from May 5, 2019.
For as long as I can remember, I have always found something wrong with the way I look. When I was in grade school, I was too skinny and too dark. When I was 11, I discovered bags under my eyes and went CRAZY! Yeah, I woke up one morning and the bags were there – TO STAY! I’ve always had a gap. I always loved my gap. Then I joined the military; got braces; and the gap went away for only a second and life was good.😁 But then it came back. Lol! Next, I had my first child and lost the weight. A few years later I thought I was humongous at 125 lbs.🤦🏽♀️ Life went on; however, the older I got, the more insecure I became.
Today, I seem to be insecure about EVERYTHING- my height, my weight, my voice, my accent… Crazy, huh? I never imagined that at 45 I would be worried about ANYTHING. It’s not the life I imagined. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now and that my confidence level would be out of this world! Not so!!😩😂
So, this morning, I decided to share a picture that makes me very uncomfortable. It’s one of me being myself. No posing. Living in the moment. Me being me.☺️ Yes, I know this was long, but I needed to get it out. I believe the only way I’m going to overcome my insecurities is by flaunting them. My purpose is greater than my insecurities. It’s time to let them go. I have work to do! For real!
As I said two years ago, my purpose is greater than my insecurities. I have real work to do!
Smiling as I write. Nothing in particular, just happy to be alive. Happy knowing God is working behind the scenes taking care of the unknown. Now I’m tearing up with tears of joy behind that thought. Just think, He’s forever working behind the scenes to make sure we are able to handle whatever comes, good or bad. He’s just good like that. Praying only good is to come, or so much good that it overshadows the bad.
I know I haven’t shared much about what’s happened since I resigned. I will eventually. You know.. since I believe in being transparent. Smile. Just know God’s been doing His thing! Talk about working overtime behind the scenes. Ha! Now I’m crying. Y’all, He never ceases to amaze me. It’s like I can see every detail, every puzzle piece put into place in realtime. It’s difficult to explain. For years I’ve described my life as a Forrest Gump life. It’s like I’m present for everything. Again, it’s hard to explain. It’s like I see the backstory, present and where it’s leading, all in one setting. I see how it all fits together. Okay.. let me stop writing before y’all think I’m crazy. My life.
Going to end with a quote I shared on May 2, 2019:
You owe it to yourself to become everything you’ve ever dreamed of being.
I’m becoming that person. It’s my hope you’re doing the same. Enjoy your Sunday!
I’m still not sold on the “Wednesday” title. Sounds boring. At least I added “Hello” to Sunday. If y’all have suggestions, please share. My Wednesdays need help!
Anyhoo.. Short story…
Yesterday someone decided to create a fake Twitter account by cloning mine. Y’all, I’m so happy someone caught it when it first happened. I’m not going to lie, at first I was somewhat flattered. Couldn’t believe someone wanted to be me. But then, the more I thought about it, the more agitated I became. I kept trying to figure out the person’s thought process behind creating the account. Talk about perplexed! Why me? I’m not famous. I don’t have many followers. Why my account? As I sat there trying to figure it all out, I noticed that some of my followers started following the account. Okay, that’s when I got upset. LISTEN… I really wanted to cuss the person out. Like… FOR REAL!! However, I decided to take the high road.. WHEW.. by politely telling them they needed help and that I was praying for them; all while I was praying for myself. Lord knows I wanted to go off! Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would have to report someone for impersonating me. What’s wrong with people? Do they not have anything better to do than create confusion? Are they that unhappy with their lives that they have to pretend to be other people. Some might say they’re just hackers trying to solicit money or people playing around. Either way, they’re still miserable. No one who is mentally stable and love themselves would be involved in such foolishness.
Anyway, in the end, I was forced to prove my identity to have them removed. Crazy, huh!
My life…
Y’all, enjoy your Wednesday! Remember, just be yourself. And I guess I should add, make YOU so great that others want to be you! Lol
No one knows what tomorrow holds, not even the next moment. Over the last few weeks, I have witnessed life changing moments (good and bad) happen in a blink of an eye. Y’all, one move, one decision, really can change everything. Some decisions were planned while others happened unexpectedly. I have learned that the key to maneuvering through changes is to completely rely on God.
Before I started writing this blog, I watched a video by motivational speaker Trent Shelton. Within the last month, Trent has lost his mother and grandmother. And just two days after his mom died, his baby girl was admitted to the hospital where she spent four days in ICU. In the video he spoke about faith, purpose, and the value of time. I’m so grateful I haven’t experienced any losses in the last few weeks, but I have learned a valuable lesson about faith, purpose and time– most importantly, time. If you would have asked me a few weeks ago which of the three was most important, I would’ve chosen faith then purpose. Today my answer is time, not as it relates to death but as it relates to life.
So, I just spent an entire week in my hometown. Something I haven’t done in at least 20 years. I went to celebrate my dad’s birthday and ended up staying longer than planned. As usual, God had a purpose. While there, I had a rude awakening about time. Because of the circumstances of my stay, I was forced to throw my schedule out window and go with the flow. I have always considered myself a flexible person, able to adjust to anything; but y’all, I’m not as flexible as I thought. It seemed like the more I tried to control things the more frustrated I became until I finally decided to let things be. Let time be. Honestly, I needed to spend time with family. I knew everyone was aging because… well… I’m also aging. However, I guess I never realized how much they were aging. My parents, aunts, and uncles now remind me of their grands and great grands. Seems like it was only yesterday that they were my age or younger. Now they’re in their 60s and 70s. All I can say is I’m so grateful God granted me the opportunity to spend time with everyone.
Now I’m back home. Y’all, I missed my babies. They leave me all the time, but this time was different, I left them.Being gone so long (yeah..I know it was only a week) made me appreciate the time I spend with them even more. Made me cherish the hugs a little more. My next move is to spend a little quality time with Shaun. I’m always promoting self-care but rarely do it. I have a few things scheduled for the first part of next week, but afterwards it’s all about me.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Time should be appreciated as well as respected. From the time God’s given us for self-care, to the time He’s given us with others, it must be cherished.
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