Today’s Hello Sunday is based on a random thought. Have you ever felt the need to explain your decisions or beliefs to others without being prompted? Not sure why I asked because I already know you have. All of us have. Like when you tell someone you can’t do something you follow it with “because xyz.” Or you make a decision (good or bad) and feel compelled to provide more details– “I’ve decided to do this because xyz.” Or you explain why you like or dislike something without being prompted– “Girl, I like/dislike xyz because…” Y’all, do we really need to explain ourselves? Are we doing it so that we’re perceived favorably, or so others feel more comfortable with what we do or say?
For me, it’s a little bit of both. When it’s something that directly affects other people, I often feel the need to provide more details because I want them to know there was thought behind my decision(s). On the other hand, I also find myself further explaining my own decisions to include my likes and dislikes, which only affect me. Umm… but why?
Y’all, I just had an “AHA” moment!
It’s the fear of being judged. That’s it! It’s that– “What are their thoughts of me now?” “Do they think I’m considerate or inconsiderate?” “Do they think I’m focused or weird?” I guess, at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how many details you or I provide, it’s about how the other person perceives or interprets the message. Period.
Well, problem solved! Only provide more information at your discretion, not because you feel you must.
Me unnecessarily providing more information after I’ve just written not to do so. UGH!! It’s after 5:00 a.m. my time and I’m so sleepy. You see, I fell asleep around 8:00 p.m. last night and woke up a little after midnight. So, I’m going to publish this blog and go to sleep. As always, thanks for reading my ramblings.
Didn’t feel like writing this morning. Was going to post a statement about accountability and be done. One of my words for 2020 was consistent and boy am I trying to remain consistent. My other word was sustainable. As we know, you cannot have anything sustainable if you’re not willing to be consistent. Which often means showing up when you don’t feel like it. Anyhoo.. I found this Facebook memory from March 3, 2019 and thought I’d share.
“Good Morning! Here’s today’s social media find. No matter how long it takes, keep holding on. Don’t throw in the towel. I love this quote because it’s so real. It seems like the closer you are to your dream being manifested, the more excuses and doubts fill your head. Whatever calling, or purpose, you have on your life, God will equip you to fulfill it. This is something I have to remind myself of when I start having doubts about what I know I’m supposed to do. Although tempted [to quit], don’t do it (in Joe’s voice😉). God will equip you with everything you need for all occasions. Have a blessed day.”
I’m here to encourage you (and myself– yes, I needed this message too) to remain steadfast. If you’re like me– you’re tired, you want to throw in the towel, or you just don’t feel like trying anymore– don’t give up!
Y’all, I needed this message this morning. Thankful for Facebook memories. Yesterday I posted, “Hang in there. You are stronger and more powerful than you think.” It was a message for yesterday. However, I’m pretty certain it’s definitely a message for future Shaun.
Listen, stay encouraged because God is working. He’s always working.
Today’s Hello Sunday is dedicated to Canadian DJ and music producer, Ryan Shepherd.
Yesterday, as I was checking my Twitter notifications, I noticed that Ryan had liked a few of my Hello Sunday blogs. Usually I don’t click the profiles of people who like my tweets; however, yesterday I was curious because only one or two of my followers actually read my blogs. So I immediately assumed Ryan was a bot. Well, he’s actually a live, breathing human being. Lol. Come to find out we’ve been using the same hashtag, #HelloSunday. Imagine that! Of course my #HelloSunday refers to my blog. However, his refers to his newly released song, “Hello Sunday,” featuring Caitlyn Scarlett. It’s a fun, cheerful tune that makes you wish everyday was Sunday.
Yesterday I did something I’ve done many times before; however, this time was different. Yesterday morning I decided to log of Twitter, and I didn’t feel like I was being punished. Usually when I log off, I have to convince myself that it’s for my own good. Y’all, it’s never easy because I always feel like I’m losing my best friend or part of me. Pathetic, right? Well, yesterday I logged off without any regrets and it felt so good!
Oftentimes, I find myself wondering what life was like before social media. What were we doing? There was a time when I was so addicted to the games on Facebook (think this is where it began) that I was checking my farm (Farmville) and cafe (Café World) at work. I remember one of my colleagues asking if I remembered to check my food in my Café. Talk about crazy! Looking back, I couldn’t imagine myself living without my farm or cafe. Now they’re only memories.
Truthfully, besides the farm and cafe, I was never that attached to Facebook. I could log off for days and not feel like I was missing anything. But Twitter… Twitter is a-whole-nother story! I love Twitter because it’s fast-paced and so interactive. Talk about exhilarating! It’s a great place to discuss shared interests and get instant feedback. Now, this is where my problem resides– LIVE tweeting. (Y’all, I can’t even say “reside” without hearing “Where the money reside, where the money reside.” Lol) Listen, there’s nothing like LIVE tweeting during my favorite shows! It’s like being in a theater with a bunch of people who like talking during movies. As I said, very interactive. My problem, though, is I can’t seem to turn it off after the shows are over. I want to continue talking about them. Like… for days! I crave the interaction. I’m telling you, it’s addictive. I guess you can say the only good thing is, I like discussing fake drama not real drama. Real drama is a little too much. This is where Twitter becomes overwhelming and I’m forced to log off to maintain my sanity. Which was my reasoning for logging off yesterday.
With that said, yesterday evening I decided to log back on a little before my show, #TheOvalOnBET (just in case you want to tweet with us) came on. Was planning to log off afterwards but I stayed to tweet during my other show Ruthless (no hashtag for this one- y’all ain’t ready- LOL!). Afterwards, I happily logged off. I had gotten my fix and was out of there. Y’all, I’m really proud of myself because I didn’t think I could do it without feeling like I was losing something. Honestly, I’m good until my other show comes on. I guess you can say I’m reclaiming my life! Lol
By the way, two of my favorite shows were renewed for a third season– Tyler Perry’s The Oval and Sistas (#SistasOnBET). I’m so happy for Tyler and the cast! However, I’m even happier for me because I have something to tweet about for another year or so. Yep.. I’m smiling.
It’s Wednesday, my tweet night! Y’all, I just love live tweeting during my shows. There’s nothing like reading people’s reactions to different scenes in real time, you know, before they actually have time to process what happened. Some people analyze scenes based on reality or cinematography, while others just watch for pure entertainment (that would be me!). Listen, I love the far-fetched storylines and scenes that seem to drive so many crazy. I guess it’s because they remind me of some of my crazy dreams. Baby, my dreams are very entertaining! Anyway, with that said, all of the storylines aren’t unbelievable, most depict real life situations. Believe me, some have evoked feelings and emotions I thought I had long buried. But don’t worry, I’m not writing about those today– they’re way too intense. I plan to keep this one light. Today’s blog is about one of my favorite characters on Tyler Perry’s Sistas.
Aaron is his name. The only reason I’m writing about Aaron is because, in my opinion, his character is the most genuine. However… so many don’t like him. Yes, he’s had a bit of a controversial past. I mean, his ex-wife committed suicide because he divorced her. I know, seems pretty dark, but there’s more to the story. At first, I thought he was a little harsh– hmm.. now I’m sounding like Andi describing Gary, who’s abusive and in Aaron’s anger management group…
Y’all know what, I’ll have to save this “think piece,” as my daughter would call it, for some other time. After having my “Andi” moment, I’m beginning to think I’m the one who’s delusional. Maybe Aaron isn’t the person I think he is. Who I want him to be. Have I been bamboozled? Am I only seeing what I want to see? Please say it ain’t so!!
I’ll write more about Aaron after I see a few more episodes. Fingers crossed that he really is the guy I think he is. We need at least one level-headed, genuine guy on the show who’s not afraid to be vulnerable or constantly trying to prove himself. I believe Preston and Maurice also fall into this category. I would say, “but they’re not my type.” However, I can’t do it without laughing because smart butt Maurice would come back with, “You not my type either!!” Lol!
Listen, if you’re looking for a good show to watch, check out #SistasOnBET. I would love your feedback about Aaron. Like, for real. One day I’m going to start dating again and he’s definitely my type. I want to make sure I’m not overlooking red flags. Help a sista out!
I really should be asleep, but since I’m awake I’ll write. Was having a crazy dream about the rock band KISS, rappers Kid n Play, and eating dry cornbread in some fancy hotel room. Woke up coughing and reaching for water. I bet I can’t find KISS, Kid n Play, or dry cornbread in one of those dream book. Y’all, even while asleep, I’m being entertained. Gotta love life!
Anyhoo.. Yesterday I came across a photo I had taken at a conference. It was a picture of one of the speakers’ slides which read, “Preparation. Protection. Promotion.” I remember the speaker saying these are the steps God takes us through each time we embark on something new. First, we’re prepped for it. Meaning, we go through all kinds of tests and trials until God believes we’re ready to move to the next phase- Protection.
God’s protection zone is usually uncomfortable because it’s where nothing appears to be happening. You’re still in the preparation phase but you think you’re ready to shine. You know, it’s where you keep saying, “God, I’m ready!” and He responds with, “Not yet.” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve gone through years of saying “I’m ready, Lord.” Only to hear Him say, “Be still. Not yet.” I’ve learned from experience that when He says to be still, I need to be still. It means I’m being protected. His method of protection reminds me of a parent protecting a child from touching something hot. The parent constantly tells the child not to touch the object because they’ll get burned. But once the parent turns their back, the child touches it. Lol. As I said, I’ve learned from experience to listen.
The protection phase isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s where you get to make mistakes and no one seems to notice. You get to try what works and what doesn’t work. I guess you can say it’s the “trial and error” phase of the journey. The only problem I’ve had with this phase is that, in some situations, it can become too comfortable. Sometimes it becomes so comfortable that when God says it’s go time, you refuse to move. You make excuses for not moving forward. As usual, I’m not just writing this for you; as I write, God is speaking to me, too.
So, once God says you’re ready– which, from my experience, is when you feel the least prepared– comes the promotion. Promotion is scary, yet exhilarating; especially if you like adventures! However, promotion comes with a cost. Promotion comes with more exposure. More vulnerability. More responsibilities. As Biggie said, “Mo money, mo problems.” However, as Fred Hammond said, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Y’all, I’m so grateful I have God in my corner. When the problems come, or I encounter situations that seem unbearable, He reminds me that I can handle anything that’s thrown my way because I’m His child. I’m royalty!
This year I’m walking into new adventures standing tall knowing that God’s with me every step of the way. Ready or not Shaun, it’s game time!
As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Now it’s time to go back to sleep.
Every morning, as soon as my great-great grandmother stepped foot out of bed, she would grab her huge white bible, flip to Psalm 23, and began reading– well, more like reciting– the entire chapter, aloud. Not a day went by that she didn’t do this. Y’all, I hate to admit this but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized this ritual set her mood for the day. That one chapter had her smiling, humming and singing all day long. Well… let’s just say that I choose to believe that’s what had her humming and smiling all day long.
Anyway, a few months ago, I decided I wanted to be like her and establish my own morning ritual by reading a chapter from the book of Psalms. However, I wanted my own chapter because, thanks to her, I already knew Psalm 23 by heart. Plus that was her chapter. Well, I’m not sure how or why I chose Psalm 113; however, once I read it I knew it was for me. Just for me. Here’s a snippet of what gets me going each morning.
Psalm 113:1-3 NIV
Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. Psalm 113:1
Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. Psalm 113:2
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3
As I said, this is just a snippet. There are six more verses in the chapter. I don’t know about you but the first three verses have me smiling already. Y’all, there’s just nothing like starting a day with praise.
Smiling as I write because first of all, I’m actually a mother; and secondly, I’m a mother of a 26 year old queen. How? When? On most days, I still feel like I’m in my 20s.
So, around this time (6 a.m.) 26 years ago, I was trying to rest but couldn’t get comfortable. I was having contractions but they were only 7-10 minutes apart. The night before I had called my friend Sue, my unofficial birthing partner, to prepare her for what was next. Then, I called my other friend, Trina, who was the only one with a child and “experienced” in childbirth, to give her a heads up. Trina also lived across the street from the hospital so I had somewhere I could chill before checking into the hospital. I remember her saying not to have the baby until she got off work. Like I actually had control over when the baby would come. Y’all, we were so young and naive.
Well, around 2:00 p.m. my contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart. I’m just going to let y’all know, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing! I was following instructions I heard tv doctors give their pregnant patients, “Wait until the contractions are 2-3 minutes apart, then go to the hospital.” Y’all, I hadn’t called a doctor at all! The last time I called the doctor’s office was when I lost my mucus plug and that was days before. However, I did call Sue, who lived 30 minutes away in Ft. Walton Beach.
When she got to my house we grabbed my bag and headed… not to the hospital… but to Trina’s house. According to wonderful doctors like Heathcliff Huxtable, I needed to wait until the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. So I was going to wait. By the time I arrived at Trina’s, I was so hungry. Hadn’t eaten anything all day because I heard some women used the bathroom while giving birth and that was the LAST thing I wanted to do. You see, my obstetrician was FINE!! Whew!! He had muscles everywhere! The last thing I wanted to do was use the bathroom while giving birth. But y’all, I was so hungry. First, I ate a bowl of ramen noodles. Then, I ate a little bit of every sugar-sweetened cereal she had in the house. Honestly, I don’t believe I knew what I was doing. I was in pain. I was trying to wait for the right moment to go to the hospital. Y’all, I was scared. All I knew to do was eat.
Anyway, once the contractions became unbearable, I went to the hospital and checked into labor and delivery. When I got there, I attempted to explained to the nurse that I was in labor. I don’t know what was going on that day but I remember her snapping at me and saying if I wasn’t dilated 4 cm they were going to send me home. That’s all she said and left me standing there. I guess the people in the waiting room felt sorry for me because they were the ones who got me a wheelchair and talked to me until Sue came up (she was parking the car). Everything that happened afterwards happened really fast. When the nurse checked me, I was more than 4 cm dilated. That’s when she actually tried to help. In hindsight, I guess I didn’t appear to be in labor. Like that’s a real thing. Believe me, the contractions were coming and I was in so much pain. But the cramps I endured during my menstrual cycles were far worse. So I just did what I did whenever I cramped, I beared it. I never once screamed or got out of character. I just took it.
Less than 3 hours later my baby was born. And no, I didn’t use the bathroom while having her. Lol. Another crazy thing happened afterwards. Sue asked me if the nurses were playing some kind of joke (told you we were young). Our wristbands had another mother’s name on them. Y’all, we had on the wrong wristbands! Talk about CRAZY!! I’m so happy we got that cleared up or I would have brought home someone else’s baby.
So that was 26 years ago. Today, I’m happy to report that the last 26 years have been just as adventurous, if not more. I have truly enjoyed motherhood. It’s been an honor watching KiSondrea become the woman she is today. I pray that today, and everyday forward, is just as wonderful and adventurous as the day of her birth.
Found this quote in today’s Facebook memories from 2019. In the memory, I had written a long caption about how I had been reading journal entries from the 90s and discovered I hadn’t changed much. I noted that I had grown spiritually and professionally, and was also making better decisions. However, my personality, heart, and spirit hadn’t really changed. I questioned why I had not grown stronger in those areas, meaning, why hadn’t I changed? You see, those were the areas that made me feel inadequate around others. That made me feel vulnerable in certain situations. That made me love harder than I should have. You would think 30 years would’ve made a difference, but it hadn’t.
That was two years ago. Here I am today, same personality, heart, and spirit. At first I asked myself why these characteristics hadn’t changed. You see, over the years I have tried to change them. Tried not to be so sentimental or emotional. Tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Tried to fit in by being less silly and more poised. Yeah.. I tried to be everything I wasn’t, everything I’m not. Then it hit me, those aren’t weaknesses. Those are my strengths. They don’t need to be changed. They need to be embraced. The only reason I continue to feel vulnerable while embracing them is because I’m trying to get others to embrace them as well. I guess you can say I’m having an “AHA” moment. Maybe that’s the lesson Tony Gaskins was referring to. I will never be able to move to the next level as long as continue to remain in the presence of those who do not fully accept Shaun. Umm… I believe it’s time to re-evaluate my circle. What’s that old saying– “If it don’t fit, don’t force it.” I will no longer try to force myself to fit where I’m not embraced. Period!
If you have already read the blog I posted earlier, then you’ll know I had decided not to reblog last year’s blog. It was too depressing. Then, while scrolling through my Facebook memories, I came across this gem. It feels so good to be back!! Enjoy!
Happy New Year’s Eve! As always, I start one blog with the intention of posting it. Then on the day I decide to post it, I come up with something …
It’s Shaun’s World 
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