Tag: transparency

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

I’m awake. Can’t sleep. What do you do when you have absolutely no idea of what to do when your heart hurts? I know I have to push through. I know that in a few days I will not feel like this. I know that eventually the pain will fade. However, at this moment, I’m hurting.

I really hate writing sad, depressing blogs. I don’t feel like journaling. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like making a social media post. I chose to blog because somehow I actually feel like the universe hears me this way. Maybe… just maybe, by writing it here the universe will hear my pain and make everything okay.

I know this is just a moment I’m going through. I know it will pass. I know God’s got me. However, right now, I’m sad and my heart hurts.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Facebook memory: September 8, 2018 – Caption and picture.

How many of you have tried to rush things and God said, “Be still” or “Be patient”?

Be Still
Be Patient
God’s Working

I’m not going to lie, I have been feeling pretty low for a few days now. Can’t seem to stop crying. I keep asking myself where is my life headed. Honestly, it seems like my ambitions and dreams have shriveled up. All I’m left with is nothingness. Like, I feel nothing. I want nothing. I’m just here.

Yesterday, my son said I needed to get out the house and go somewhere, anywhere. I was like, all I’ve been doing is going. He said I needed to go somewhere for myself, not to take care of things for someone else. So, we drove down to the coast for lunch. He was right, I needed to do something for me. Now, here I am laying here with my thoughts. I just can’t seem to stop crying. I’ve been patient with myself for years, so why am I not further along? I don’t want to die without achieving my dreams; however, right now, I don’t have any drive to move forward. None. I just want to be.

I know this moment will pass. It always does. But it’s becoming harder and harder to bounce back. This is hard to admit but I’m beginning to feel hopeless. Just being transparent.

Shaun

Life

Feeling Drained

Shaun Bradford

Life and death.
Death and life.
One thing I am learning about death, it either brings families closer together or push them further apart. It brings out the worst in some and the best in others. Some are only in it for recognition, while others truly care. So many egos. So many hurt feelings. It’s too much.

Y’all, I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Today, all I want to do is be alone. Disconnecting today and will pick back up tomorrow. I just need a minute to process it all.

My life.
My world.

Shaun

Life

Perceptions

Shaun Bradford

Perception – a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression

Question – If you perceive something to be true, is it actually true?

Social media has opened my eyes about the way we perceive things. Even when in agreement, we never truly understand the other person’s full perspective unless we ask, or they explain it in detail. Most of the time we assume that because we are in agreement, our perspectives are the same. When in reality, they are not.

Honestly, perceptions can be very deceptive. Especially when we attempt to interpret another person’s feelings or words. Have you ever wondered how someone perceived you based on your words, feelings or actions? Do you believe their perception would be accurate if they never spoke to or interacted with you? More than likely, not. So why do we assume our perceptions of others to be true?

My advice, if you really want to know how a person feels, or understand the meaning behind their words or messages, ASK. Also, people change over time. Just because they said something or felt a certain way a year ago, doesn’t mean they feel the same way today. Again, ASK.

As always, thanks for reading and enjoy the rest of your day!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Happy Sunday! Today’s blog is going to be another brief one.

Over the last couple of days, I haven’t felt like talking or interacting with people much. I’ve been in my “secret place” – the place that the Winans refer to in their song, Secret Place. Nothing bad. It’s just that lately I have had a lot on my mind like – pivoting, changing course, going in a different direction, dropping things/people that are causing more stress than being beneficial, and doing something new.. something totally different from what I have been doing the last 20 years or so. This is not the first time I have done this. Let’s just say it’s probably the third time in my lifetime. In my younger years, I wasn’t afraid to let things go or change courses. Now that I’m older, and somewhat wiser, I’m kind of hesitant. Will I have time to achieve new dreams and goals? I have always said the first half of my life (first 50) was for figuring things out, and the last half (50+) for living out my dreams. Didn’t think I would be changing directions this late in the game. Gotta love life.

I know I just rambled off a lot. Even with writing all of that, I still don’t feel like talking. I have a lot of decisions to make. I know it’s time for me to change courses. The direction I was headed in had me constantly stressed and anxious. I needed these last few months to get my head straight. You all will probably be the first to know where this new journey takes me.

By the way, this is my 92nd day of posting! YAY!! Consistency, discipline and dedication are key. Oh, and I actually love what I’m doing, especially creating the stories.

As always, thank you so much for putting up with my ramblings. Now you know how my journal feels. Smile.

Enjoy your week!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Hello! Hello! Hello!! It’s almost 3:00 a.m. here in Hattiesburg. Since I am wide awake, I will go ahead and post today’s blog. This one is from another Facebook memory dated August 11, 2018. I read it and just had to share.

How many of us, no matter how far we have progressed in our mental and spiritual journey, are still struggling to heal from something no one knows about. That thing that knocks us to our knees from time to time. I refuse to believe I am the only one who experiences this.

A few weeks ago, my son asked if I ever had moments where I thought about something I did and instantly became embarrassed; something I was too embarrassed to share with someone else. I told him yes. That it happened more often than I liked. I went on to explain that most of the time whatever happened was so small, yet I couldn’t seem to get over it. That’s when I shared one of my moments with him, something I had never shared with anyone else. Honestly, I felt completely comfortable sharing it with him. I guess it’s because he is the only one who does not make me feel crazy or weird when I tell him things. Yes, he’s my gift. Grateful God placed him in my life.

Anyhoo… back to the Facebook memory. Here is what I shared three years ago.

August 11, 2018

I believe all of us can relate to this one. No matter how strong we are, or how much we’ve overcome, there’s always that one little thing we can’t seem to shake. Sending prayers and love!🙏🏽💕 #PrayAndWorship #GotsGotYou #YoureCovered

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a fantastic Wednesday!

Shaun