Treasure your gifts. Not gifts, as in talents, but the gifts—the people—God has placed in your life. They are irreplaceable and one of a kind. Whether for a season or a lifetime, God placed them in your life for a specific purpose that only they can fulfill. Never take them for granted. Life is much too short and precious not to treasure them.
As I mentioned last night, I was with my two hearts (daughter, 30, and son, 21). Words can’t even begin to describe the way I feel about them. As a child, I always longed to feel loved unconditionally and accepted for me. One of the things we talked about last night was me always dancing to the beat of my own drum. I never quite fit in, even when it came to my own family. I thought and moved differently. Not so differently that I didn’t blend in, but different enough to know I didn’t fit. Well, here I am 30 years later with two adult children, and I finally feel the love and acceptance I longed for. They’re not cookie cutters of me. As we often joke, we couldn’t be more different, but we’re so much alike. All three of us dance to our own beat, and we don’t judge. We embrace each other’s uniqueness.
Y’all, they are my gifts.🥰🥰
This was taken in January during my daughter’s 30th birthday weekend.
On another note—I know I never mentioned anything else about celebrating the 30–year breakthrough or rebirth I was experiencing leading up to my daughter’s birthday. I intentionally stopped celebrating when I noticed she had made her celebration mine. I explained to her that I had already lived and celebrated my 30th; the weekend and occasion were all hers. And we celebrated her! Yes, her birthday felt like a great release for me. I finally felt free to release myself from being a mother, provider, and caregiver to being me—a woman taking care of me.🦋
I pray you are treasuring your gifts. Also remember this too—something that took me far too long to realize—YOU are also a gift. Yes…YOU!
In 2023, I shared, “Your obedience to God unlocks doors.” Although this is true, I believe our obedience should be more important than any blessing we may receive. It’s our obedience that strengthens our relationship with God. It shows Him that we not only love Him, but we trust Him despite what He can do or give.
Today, my advice is to focus on building a relationship with God. It’s more important than the blessings and unlocked doors. Both will come in due time.
This post has been in my drafts since January 8, 2022. I wrote it for another blog, but can’t locate the link. Glad I saved it here. This was my mother.
Title: Momma, I See You
I was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother, who was born to a teenage mother. Yep.. three generations of teen moms. My mother was 14 years old when she became pregnant with me and 15 when she gave birth. What’s ironic is my grandmother was also pregnant. Not only was she about to birth her eighth child at 30, but she was also about to become a first time grandmother. Can you imagine being 30 years old with eight children and your first grandchild on the way? Oh… and my great grandmother, my grandmother’s mom, had 12 children at the time and she was only 43. Y’all, I’m 47 with two children. Had my first child at 21 and my second at 30. Just thinking about what it must have felt like being a teenage mother is unimaginable, let alone having multiple children and grandchildren by the age of 30.
Well, a few years ago, during one of my mom’s frequent visits to the emergency room, I thought about what it must have felt like to be responsible for another life at such a young age. When I arrived at the hospital, she was in so much pain. Every time the nurses touched her she moaned. I wanted to help but couldn’t. Finally the doctor gave her something to ease the pain and she fell asleep. I didn’t leave. I just sat there watching her sleep. Honestly, it was like watching a stranger. The person I saw lying there wasn’t the loud, strong, opinionated woman I knew. This woman was vulnerable, tired, and broken. That’s when it hit me that she was so much more than my mother, she was a woman.
While sitting there, I began reminiscing about my childhood and the sacrifices she had made for me and my five siblings. She always made sure our needs were met even if she had to go without. When I was a baby, she worked in the cotton fields to buy me clothes and pampers. She married a man twice her age, and endured abuse, so that she could support me. By the time she divorced him two years later, she had another little girl to support. Although she had two toddlers, she graduated from high school early and enrolled in college. At 18 she was walking the campus of Jackson State University with two in tow. I still remember attending night classes with her when she couldn’t find a babysitter. During that time she was always learning something new as well as introducing us to new things. For me, that was the most exciting time of my childhood. Also, she was no stranger to hard work. Throughout my childhood, I don’t ever remember hearing her complain about taking on second jobs or not being able to take off for vacations. She did what she had to do to provide for her family. I remember how one year she walked miles to work in the snow, while pregnant with one of my younger sisters. One day she slipped and fell and still went to work. That’s how dedicated and selfless she was. Although she experienced heartaches, disappointments, and abuse, we rarely saw her cry. She was the rock of the family.
Needless to say, by the time I left the hospital I was a changed woman. I saw my mom through a different lens. Not only her but my grandmother and great grandmother as well. I often wonder what kind of sacrifices and compromises did they have to make to ensure their children had everything they needed.
Listen, like most mother-daughter relationships, my mother and I have had our ups and downs. However, it wasn’t until I put myself in her shoes that I was able to better understand some of her experiences and decisions. I will admit that the woman she was throughout my childhood made me the woman I am today, and for that, I’m grateful.
The months I spent with her before she passed were a blessing I didn’t know I needed. I needed that time with her. Even though it was like caring for a child at times, I still knew I was hers. So many times I wanted to climb up in the hospital bed with her.
My momma…
She made us take pictures that day (June 1997). She just had to have a family photo even though we weren’t dressed for one.😅We were so unserious. But it was her day, and there was no way we weren’t going to comply. She was still Momma! We also took pictures with my grandma (her mom). About a couple of weeks later, my grandma suddenly died. The following year, my mom became paralyzed from the waist down.
Life can change in the blink of an eye. Make sure you cherish every moment with those you love.♥️
You know how one thing leads to or is connected with another? Well, I was looking at photos from January 29, 2023—pictures of my mom—and saw the screenshot below. This led me to check and see what I had posted on that date. Honestly, I wasn’t ready for what I had written.
Probably took the screenshot because 6-24 is my birthday. Seeing that number always makes me smile.
I keep asking myself why I have to be so strong. Why me? I’m tired of being strong alone. JOURNAL ENTRY, JANUARY 29, 2015
In the same entry, I added a quote from Joel Osteen –
“Negative, defeated thoughts will drain your energy. You wouldn’t be facing it if you couldn’t handle it. You’re anointed for this — God would not have allowed it if you weren’t ready for it and equal to it.”
That “I’m tired of being strong alone,” seems to be the story of my life. However, just like Joel said, I wouldn’t be facing it if I couldn’t handle it. Honestly, I’m beginning to believe that being strong alone is my super power. Hmmm…
Anyhoo… I’m going to visit my mom today! This time I’m taking her dog, Nala. I know they will be happy to see each other.
Well, that’s all I have to share today. Y’all, life is one big adventure, let’s make sure we make the best of it.♥️
“Honestly, I’m beginning to believe that being strong alone is my super power.”
I don’t like that statement. I’m not meant to be strong alone. No one is.
One thing is true, though, life is one big adventure. And I do plan to make the best of it.♥️ ~Shaun
Lately, I have been a little more emotional than usual. It took me a minute to figure out why, and I finally have. A rebirth is happening. At least, that’s what it feels like.
Some may think what I’m about to say is weird, and it’s perfectly fine, but the timing of “The Six Triple Eight” movie and my daughter’s upcoming 30th birthday are so intertwined. The 30 years hit me while I was visiting her a week ago. Then, seeing the movie this weekend brought back memories of my experiences in the military around the time of her birth (almost 30 years ago) and the first few years of her life. Y’all, I’ve been crying nonstop this weekend. It feels like I am finally releasing everything I have held in for decades—the stress, uncertainties, and pressure I placed on myself to be a great mother to a child who did not ask to be here. I chose to bring her into this world, which meant I was responsible for making sure she always felt loved, protected, supported, and never like a burden. Those were the things I needed as a child, and I was determined to make sure she had them. And then the song “The Journey” by H.E.R. gets me every time I hear it. Y’all, these past 30 years have definitely been a journey.
Here’s what AI had to say about 30 years—
“It can be a turning point in a person’s life or a time when a historical event’s long-term effects can be seen. … It can be a time when someone realizes who they are, gains self-awareness.”
Whewwww… y’all, this is a lot.
I now realize that 30 years ago, I shut down part of my life to become the best mom I could be, and I know exactly when it happened. That’s a story for another time. Last week, I finally saw the woman my baby girl has become and know that my mission has been achieved. Now it’s time for me to live.
My life definitely changed 30 years ago, and I have absolutely no regrets—I never have. I just adjusted. Seeing my baby girl’s smile today lets me know all my sacrifices were worth it.
Here are two pictures… A lot can change in a year.
Squadron Christmas party in Germany (December 1993).Squadron Christmas party in Florida (December 1994). Almost 9 months pregnant.
What a journey…
Thanks for allowing me space to exhale and release. I pray you have a glorious Sunday!♥️
Was looking back through my Facebook memories a little while ago. I try not to spend so much time in the past, but that’s where I find a lot of my answers. Saw the following memory this morning, but didn’t pay much attention to it. However, this evening, it caught my eye.
April 18, 2019
As you can see, I had one of my “Aha” moments. This was when I realized I had been making decisions based on pivotal moments in my life.
It was in April of 1994 that I had decided to make a few life changes. Little did I know, life was about to change me. I’ll say it was around this time in April that I had received orders (a new military assignment) to go to Florida. I was about to leave Germany and my trifling boyfriend. Already had in my mind how I was going to be FREE! We had just broken up and I felt like I finally had a handle on life. Well, by the end of the month, and I know the exact date, I was back with him.
Long story, short… I really need to write a book. Maybe in my 80’s or 90’s. That night will forever be etched in my memory. It’s the night he told me he was going to give me what I wanted…a baby. I laughed it off. For over a year I had wanted to be pregnant, but it never happened. Yeah… I was young and naive, but I really wanted a baby. I wanted someone who would love me unconditionally—and she actually does (my blessing🥰).
Six weeks later, I went to the doctor’s office for one thing and left with what seemed to be the worst news of my life, I was pregnant. Y’all, I had already made up my mind that I was moving on. Then…BAM!!
From that day on, even until recently, most decisions I have made have been somewhat based on what happened for me—no longer going to use “to me”—during that time. My baby became my priority. She became my life. Then the divorce happened, and she and my son became my life. Every decision I have made has been somewhat based on them. They have been trying to get me to enjoy life for myself, but I have been hesitant. Honestly, I am not really sure how to live as a single person. However, I believe it is finally time that I learned.♥️
It’s interesting that I shared this post four years ago while attending the same conference I’m at today. Ironically, this message is more relevant today than it was then. God has a way of bringing things full circle, even messages.
I originally shared this photo on April 7, 2018.
At the time of the original share, I was in the process of rebuilding trust—in myself, in those around me, and in my ability to achieve my goals and dreams. I honestly thought it would be easy. Little did I know it would take several years and cycles of reflecting, regrouping, refocusing and rebuilding, to get to where I am today.
Today, I trust myself. I trust myself to make wiser choices. I trust myself to take care of Shaun. Yes, I finally realize I matter, too. Don’t know why it took me so long to accept this fact. Guess I owe it all to Year50.
I also have a good group of people around me who I trust; who I know have my best interests at heart. God has been weeding people out while strengthening my current relationships. My circle is getting smaller but growing stronger.
As far as me trusting in my ability to accomplish my goals and dreams, I am there. I know I can. A few blogs ago, I wrote about my confidence being restored. Well, I owe that to actually trusting myself to do what I set out to do. Things have always been moving in the right direction; however, my confidence and trust and belief in myself had to catch up. Took a minute—a long minute to rebuild this one—but it’s all back! Grateful
This is it for now. Wishing you a restful Sunday.♥️
Took a moment to check my social media accounts (now scheduled). Hadn’t checked my Facebook memories in a while. I shared so many great memories on this date. The one that I have decided to share refers to a pivotal moment in my life. I can’t say it enough, I am truly blessed. I am so grateful God love me.
Facebook Memory: March 28, 2019
Good Morning! Wanted to share one of things that changed my life. Almost 5 years ago, I discovered Oprah and Deepak’s meditation series. I was leery about meditating because of what I had heard as a child, meditation was “of the devil.” I’m soooo happy I let those past teachings go. Meditation isn’t satanic. Meditation allowed me to clear my mind of the chaos going on around me, and listen, listen to God. After the first series I really did become more grateful. Also, I always believed everyone was connected, but afterwards, I knew we were connected. I finally felt like everything I personally thought and felt about my relationship with God, wasn’t crazy. It all made sense.
I haven’t participated in a series in a while. I still receive invites when a new one begins. Today’s session is about gratitude (mostly all of them are about gratitude). When I began expressing my gratitude, even for the tiniest thing (like finding a parking space), God began to bless me. It’s true, when praises go up, blessings come down. No, I’m not rich financially, but I’m rich spiritually. Spiritual blessings are indescribable. The bond I have with God is like no other. I’m so grateful He loves me. I’m so grateful for His mercy and grace. I’m so grateful He changed me. I love my new life.♥️
Y’all, God is so amazing. And no, I am not crazy, we are all connected. Smile♥️
Already up reading past journal entries so I may as well write. This particular message is a brief summary of what I wrote eight years ago, August 2, 2015.
Message…
Your blessings will find you. You won’t have to seek them out, God will deliver them to you. Remain faithful.
Eight years ago, I was at one of my lowest points in life. I had recently separated from my ex; car was breaking down every other day; house was going into foreclosure; and I didn’t know if I would get the raise that I so badly needed. That was eight years ago. In that same journal entry I wrote –
“I feel like the world is weighing down on me. This load is very heavy, but I thank God for helping me make it daily. The steps forward are very small, but I do know I’m moving forward.”
Despite what I was going through, I knew deep down I was moving forward. Later on that same evening, I had received an email from the department chair saying that they had petitioned for me to receive an even larger increase in my salary from what we had discussed. I didn’t even have to lift a finger. God intervened on my behalf.
Since then, I have been up and I have been down, but never that far down. Even with setbacks I have constantly moved forward. I was listening to a message yesterday where the young lady said your setbacks have made you stronger. And she was right, each setback did make me stronger. What would’ve taken me out eight years ago seems like child’s play today. God is good!
That’s all for today. I haven’t been drawing like I used to. Feel like I’m running out of flowers to draw. Maybe I need to really focus on drawing one thing and perfecting it. I’ll let you know how that works. Until I draw something new, I will reshare from my Facebook memories. Here’s what I shared last year. Be blessed.♥️ ~ Shaun
Last night, my daughter and I were discussing timing and how we can now see that if things would have worked out according to our timetables, we would not have been properly prepared to handle the things that came along with them. That was when it dawned on me that we were and are being protected.
If things have not happened yet, accept that it’s not time, and that you are being protected. Stay under God’s protection.♥️ ~Shaun
Stay protected.
On another note (gonna try to make this short by using screenshots where I can)…
So, a couple of days ago I forgot to check my Facebook Memories. Y’all, I rarely forget. It’s like part of my morning routine. Well, sometime Thursday evening a memory popped up that prompted me to check my other memories. When I tell you God is always on time! Here’s what I shared based on one of the memories:
Facebook Post: July 27, 2023
Can’t believe I am just now looking at my Facebook Memories from July 27th. I usually look at them first thing in the morning, but for some reason I didn’t today. Had forgotten all about them. Thankfully a story I shared last year popped up and jogged my memory. I needed to see this particular post today. When I reshared it in 2019, I shared it with Tyler Perry’s quote, “When you pray, believe.” Back then, that quote was relevant for where I was.
Today, another quote taken from his caption has resonated with me. It is a question he asked himself, “God, why would you put all of these dreams inside of me and not show me a way to accomplish them.” Y’all, I feel him on this. I have so many dreams. Some would probably say I have too many. That I need to narrow them down, but I can’t. I want to accomplish them all.🤷🏽♀️😢
As Mr. Perry did, I am going to continue to work towards them until something happens. I know God is working behind the scenes. I KNOW that one day everything will happen. In today’s blog I wrote the following:
“Here is what I have learned and am still learning – my job is to lean into God, allow Him to lead, move when He says move and be still when He says be still. AND I must do ALL of this while operating from a space of peace. Talk about challenging, but if He believes I am capable of doing it, then I can do it.”
I will continue to stay in prayer while waiting and listening for my next moves.♥️
That was two days ago. Here are a few screenshots from today’s Facebook memories.
“I love who I am Becoming,” July 29, 2022July 29, 2022–Response to the next screenshot originally shared on July 29, 2018.July 29, 2018
Y’all, I can’t help but tear up. I’m doing exactly what I set out to do. Yes, I have a lot of dreams, and guess what – I’m achieving them ALL! AND I have many, many more to achieve.
Listen, if God has put dreams in your heart, please don’t allow others’ success or progress make you feel like you are:
Behind – Girl, you’re 50 and just now getting started.
On the wrong track – You should be doing XYZ and making money.
Your goals are unattainable or unrealistic – Girl, you are nowhere near qualified for what you want and where you want to be, and never will be.Get your head out of the clouds.
Block distractions and silence those voices (yours specifically) that tell you your dreams are too big, unrealistic or impossible. For we know, and must remember, that with God ALL things are possible.
That’s all I have to share today. I know it was a lot. Praying you have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for reading.♥️
It’s Shaun’s World 
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